Anaya

I found this thread from October of last year.

celebration 123: Hoping you are experiencing peace and calm at this time. Others had shared great info in their posts.

I've copied some of the links suggested in posts in this thread where I will get back to and check out when I have free time.

I have not moved on from my toxic relationship to this point; I've had health issues, have been hospitalized, etc., in recent months, where my goals had to be put on the back burner for awhile.

Mango212

What's missing from news headlines and statistics are the extreme deaths of friends and family members from stress and other issues arising from being in toxic relationships.

JamieLee

So how do you know? That's where I'm stuck--- we have an ongoing argument of round and round circles-- and since it can take a while for the brain to recover from alcohol, how do you know if that's a permanent change or not? I try to impart that both of our actions in the relationship have been based on frustration and fear (me) and frustration and anger (him). His anger and addiction caused me not to want to move away from my childhood home where I was "safe" by my parents and my fear of moving made his frustration let alcohol take over in addiction. Then he says I was never committed to starting a life with him. I never seem to be able to shake that basis for him-- he's doing things out of frustration and stress but me and my family are just flawed.

Derringer

There are narcs who drink, doesn't make them actual alcoholic though.

A real alcoholic is slowly drinking himself to death. No sense of self preservation, no self love.

A narc is basically in love with himself.

Two different things, a few common traits.

trailmix

You are right, two entirely different things NPD is a personality disorder and alcoholism is an addiction. Everyone has some narcissism, it's on a spectrum, there is healthy narcissism and unhealthy narcissism.

Narcissists are not in love with themselves, that's just a misconception.

Many alcoholics are probably pretty high up on that narcissism spectrum, but may not have NPD.

Anaya

Through much reading on so-called "toxic" behavior from people, who we encounter in our lives daily, I truly do understand that moving on and going no contact with some people is the best choice. I imagine it might have been difficult, and I hope at this point in time, you are doing well.

Refiner

Thank you I am doing well for the most part. Lots of guilt at first mostly from not being able to have a relationship with my nephew bc of her toxicity and me cutting her off. But she can no longer berate and belittle me to get her “supply” to feel superior and I am at peace and am more mentally healthy because of my decision to go no contact.

thousandwords53

I suspect my exAH has NPD or BPD/something although his alcohol abuse/alcoholism distracted me for many years - it was just always so confusing and difficult being in that situation. Hes only really addicted to himself. He “doesn’t drink anymore” (like he used to) but all the problems, terminal uniqueness/mindset and entitlement is still there.

Givenup2018

I read somewhere that it is often very difficult to differentiate between an alcoholic and a narcissist as they display many similar behaviors.
So you could have a narcissistic alcoholic or an alcoholic narcissist. Not the same thing but does it really matter if they display similar behaviors, it causes you the same damage.