Do they get stupider?
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Join Date: May 2018
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Do they get stupider?
I've mentioned before how EXAHs seems to have a spotty memory, though it could be that fire management where for one week he'll remember kids toys, but can't remember ALL the basics All the time.
But man he's getting stupid.. Infantile even. Is this part of the progression? I'm only seeing tiny morcels here so it's so hard to figure out how much he's progressed. He is actively drinking.
But man he's getting stupid.. Infantile even. Is this part of the progression? I'm only seeing tiny morcels here so it's so hard to figure out how much he's progressed. He is actively drinking.
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Join Date: Sep 2019
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Milano58
I too think/worry about my AH’s memory loss. His is getting worse in the last few years. Just scatterbrained all the time! In one of my not so great moments I asked him if he was really this stupid or just pretending to be. He is a manipulator and I think sometimes he does it on purpose to get under my skin. He refuses to go to a doctor and I gave up asking him to. I need to do more research on this but I fear it may be wasted time as he will not listen to a word I say. I’m thinking someone in this group may have some info on the subject (I’m newbie) and everyone so far has great info/recommendations. I feel what your saying and sympathize with you, it seems every post I read I feel it...Unfortunately
I too think/worry about my AH’s memory loss. His is getting worse in the last few years. Just scatterbrained all the time! In one of my not so great moments I asked him if he was really this stupid or just pretending to be. He is a manipulator and I think sometimes he does it on purpose to get under my skin. He refuses to go to a doctor and I gave up asking him to. I need to do more research on this but I fear it may be wasted time as he will not listen to a word I say. I’m thinking someone in this group may have some info on the subject (I’m newbie) and everyone so far has great info/recommendations. I feel what your saying and sympathize with you, it seems every post I read I feel it...Unfortunately
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Location: W Washington
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funny, they can forget a kid's birthday, but always know the way to the nearest bar or corner store!
it's hard telling if it's progression, or just lack of interest, lack of caring, assuming you'll pick up the slack. i mean wouldn't it be AWESOME if we all had our own damn secretary - to remember our schedule for us, or run around and fetch up what we forgot? or run to our rescue when we screw up?
it's hard telling if it's progression, or just lack of interest, lack of caring, assuming you'll pick up the slack. i mean wouldn't it be AWESOME if we all had our own damn secretary - to remember our schedule for us, or run around and fetch up what we forgot? or run to our rescue when we screw up?
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Join Date: May 2018
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Originally Posted by FarmhouseGal 
Milano58
I too think/worry about my AH’s memory loss. His is getting worse in the last few years. Just scatterbrained all the time! In one of my not so great moments I asked him if he was really this stupid or just pretending to be. He is a manipulator and I think sometimes he does it on purpose to get under my skin. He refuses to go to a doctor and I gave up asking him to. I need to do more research on this but I fear it may be wasted time as he will not listen to a word I say. I’m thinking someone in this group may have some info on the subject (I’m newbie) and everyone so far has great info/recommendations. I feel what your saying and sympathize with you, it seems every post I read I feel it...Unfortunately
I too think/worry about my AH’s memory loss. His is getting worse in the last few years. Just scatterbrained all the time! In one of my not so great moments I asked him if he was really this stupid or just pretending to be. He is a manipulator and I think sometimes he does it on purpose to get under my skin. He refuses to go to a doctor and I gave up asking him to. I need to do more research on this but I fear it may be wasted time as he will not listen to a word I say. I’m thinking someone in this group may have some info on the subject (I’m newbie) and everyone so far has great info/recommendations. I feel what your saying and sympathize with you, it seems every post I read I feel it...Unfortunately
I guess we all want to know... How much longer?
But everybody's piece of string is different. You can't really compare one alcoholics progression with another, but it would be useful to have milestones to measure from.
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Originally Posted by Sasha1972
As I understand it, memory problems and lowered threshold of impulsivity are characteristic of alcohol-related brain damage (encephalopathy).
I've a feeling that when it's all eventually revealed... I'll be shocked.
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Hard to say for one person but in general alcohol can cause brain damage which can lead to all sorts of consequences, none of them good. Dementia would be one of the most common.
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Yes, we get stupider. Ha.
Seriously, tho - our brains change as we drink too much, for a long time. Memory, cognitive function, decision making....the list goes on.
We gain clarity and most of our functions (some of us are luckier than others) if we get sober....of course, we can't undo the damage we did about forgotten birthdays, consistent lateness, lying and justifying the most insane things, whatever our particular poison was. Pun intended.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease in every way. It simply doesn't get better. It gets worse, until we die.
Seriously, tho - our brains change as we drink too much, for a long time. Memory, cognitive function, decision making....the list goes on.
We gain clarity and most of our functions (some of us are luckier than others) if we get sober....of course, we can't undo the damage we did about forgotten birthdays, consistent lateness, lying and justifying the most insane things, whatever our particular poison was. Pun intended.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease in every way. It simply doesn't get better. It gets worse, until we die.
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I absolutely noticed a decline in my AXH's cognitive abilities as well as his emotional behavior as his disease progressed.
My father was a very intelligent functioning alcoholic for most of his life.... until he wasn't. The plunge I witnessed as he went over the edge towards his death was devastating to watch. You couldn't even carry a simple conversation with him the last couple years of his life. How such a smart person can drink themselves "stupid" and into an early grave if baffling.
As an aside to what PeacefulWater said.....Despite knowing my Dad and my AXH had a disease(of choice) it didn't stop me from distancing myself from both of them. I was so sick and tired of their chaos infecting MY serenity. So yes, I think, as we open our eyes to it, we are more likely to see the dumb as well.
My father was a very intelligent functioning alcoholic for most of his life.... until he wasn't. The plunge I witnessed as he went over the edge towards his death was devastating to watch. You couldn't even carry a simple conversation with him the last couple years of his life. How such a smart person can drink themselves "stupid" and into an early grave if baffling.
As an aside to what PeacefulWater said.....Despite knowing my Dad and my AXH had a disease(of choice) it didn't stop me from distancing myself from both of them. I was so sick and tired of their chaos infecting MY serenity. So yes, I think, as we open our eyes to it, we are more likely to see the dumb as well.
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Join Date: May 2010
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As far a 'stupid' talk I always heard maturity stops at the age or time when they started drinking or drugging heavy. I too have noticed gaps in memory with falsehoods frequently becoming their truth. Their version of events gets convoluted more frequently now. Keep in mind who many alcoholics and addicts hangout. Bar stool buddies giving them ideas or validating other 'stupid' thoughts doesn't help either.
Sometimes they can remember where they put/placed something years ago yet lose something they actually handled weeks or months ago. And they get upset that somebody moved something in the spot they left it 3 years ago.
Prolonged drinking AND age don't help. Alcoholic's age too.
Sometimes they can remember where they put/placed something years ago yet lose something they actually handled weeks or months ago. And they get upset that somebody moved something in the spot they left it 3 years ago.
Prolonged drinking AND age don't help. Alcoholic's age too.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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I absolutely think it depends on the person. I think they do get stupider due to the alcohol but they also can use that as an excuse when things go wrong. My husband does it all the time. I was drunk, don't remember. You know my memory is bad since my heart attack. You didn't tell me....It goes on and on. Then you actually feel stupid and question yourself!! LOL
Its hard to tell manipulation from real stupidity.....but they do go hand in hand I think. If I had to guess its probably a combination of both. Frustration for you, works well to shirk responsibility for them.
Its hard to tell manipulation from real stupidity.....but they do go hand in hand I think. If I had to guess its probably a combination of both. Frustration for you, works well to shirk responsibility for them.
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