ironwill

Went to my first Al-Anon meeting on Monday. It was very comforting. It felt good to hear the other peoples stories and i even said a little. Not much, but i was determined to get past my shyness in groups. I plan to go back next week.

I'm doing better with the AW. We keep talking and she finally believes me when I tell her, I know she has a problem. It is going to be a long journey and I am also getting help. Start seeing a therapist soon.

We both know it's a long journey. I told her as long as we keep talking and being honest to each other we can make it through this. I told her I am a strong and can handle what ever truth she wants to tell me. I will not judge her. I told her I don't care about the past only the present. She then open up a bit about her past and it wasn't pretty what she has been through. And I only know the tip of the iceberg. I thanked her and told her this is your past not ours. You don't have to share it with me. I'm here for support if you need it. She stated that after the talk it was the best she felt about our relationship in several years. I said the same. I once again said we just need to keep be honest with each other and keep talking.

trailmix

hey ironwill, so glad you went to Al-anon, great place to start to work through all this for yourself. That you shared a bit at the meeting is really good, most people just cry their way through the first meeting or five!

Your talk with your wife sounds hopeful, after all, the basis is trust and if you can be open with each other maybe there is hope.

Please remember that it is early days though. Protect yourself.

Wombaticus

Wow - you have done the kindest thing you could do - to listen.
I wish AH would give me even a glimpse of the quicksand in his head.
look after yourself as you listen to her.

ironwill

Thanks wombatics. I'm doing my best to just listen. It hard to not ask why did you hurt me. I just have to get past it and take it one day at a time as she works her steps. I love her and want the best for her.