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I Ended It.

Old 07-13-2019, 04:12 PM
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I Ended It.

5 years of marriage.
2 years of love.
5 years of drinking.
5 years of sadness.
5 years of resentment.
7 years gone.
Countless dreams and fantasies finally crushed.
Those dreams, those hopes will never come true. Not with him.

Sometimes I am sad, but mostly, I can breathe. It feels so nice to just breathe. I'm building a life for myself here in Louisiana. I'm discovering who I am again after losing myself in the depths of codependency and my need to save him. Funny that now, after it's much too late, does he get clean. Funny now that he fights to be with me after I've told him it's done. Funny now, after all this time, he finds his religion, makes amends with his family, gets his health back on track. Isn't it funny how now, he tells me how he feels, how much he loves me, how much he cherishes me.

If he thinks it will change things, he's wrong. He's much too late and I'm already gone. I'm already changing. I'm already finding the parts of me that I loved and I lost in him. Thank you all, again, for your endless support and community. I hope that every single one of you is able to find peace, no matter the circumstance or result of your situations. I love you all so heckin much. I couldn't find this strength without you.
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Old 07-13-2019, 04:19 PM
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You’re brave.
youre strong
youre enlightened

good for you! And I second that sentiment about SR...incredible people all. ❤️
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Old 07-13-2019, 06:31 PM
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I hear y’a! 16 years together and 12 married. Multiple attempts at sobriety without seeking recovery. Things would’ve been salvageable had he sought treatment 2 years prior to rehab. By the time I gave him an ultimatum and he was actually ready to quit it was too late for me. There was no coming back from that. I still don’t think he really gets it despite all the counseling and marriage counseling we had. He will never truly understand what I lived with for so many years and how it got me to my rock bottom.
Anyway, good for you, I know it hurts dépité it all but I think you will find yourself much happier without all the chaos, even if he is sober now.
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Old 07-13-2019, 07:49 PM
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Sounds like too little to late for some . that a learn them. Or not........be strong you doing do right. You all deserve better its their loss
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