I Ended It.
5 years of marriage.
2 years of love.
5 years of drinking.
5 years of sadness.
5 years of resentment.
7 years gone.
Countless dreams and fantasies finally crushed.
Those dreams, those hopes will never come true. Not with him.
Sometimes I am sad, but mostly, I can breathe. It feels so nice to just breathe. I'm building a life for myself here in Louisiana. I'm discovering who I am again after losing myself in the depths of codependency and my need to save him. Funny that now, after it's much too late, does he get clean. Funny now that he fights to be with me after I've told him it's done. Funny now, after all this time, he finds his religion, makes amends with his family, gets his health back on track. Isn't it funny how now, he tells me how he feels, how much he loves me, how much he cherishes me.
If he thinks it will change things, he's wrong. He's much too late and I'm already gone. I'm already changing. I'm already finding the parts of me that I loved and I lost in him. Thank you all, again, for your endless support and community. I hope that every single one of you is able to find peace, no matter the circumstance or result of your situations. I love you all so heckin much. I couldn't find this strength without you.