Originally Posted by Needabreak

I couldn't agree more. Continually bitching about the alcoholic keeps one stuck in circular thinking and leads to a dead end of bitterness.

Rather than ask "why do they hang on to their control freaks," maybe ask yourself some of the following questions (and these aren't all directed at the original poster, as she seems to wisely have moved out of the relationship):

"Why am I so surprised every time he exhibits alcoholic behavior when I know that he is an alcoholic?"

"Why do I keep expecting the person who I am in a relationship with to suddenly change into someone who he isn't, when he has shown me over and over again exactly who he is? "

"Why do I keep complaining about the situation, but not take action to change the situation for myself? Why do I keep my focus on him and disempower myself? How is this serving me?"

"Why do I keep making another sick, dysfunctional person the focus of my life? Why am I sacrificing my health, my happiness, my one precious life to stay in a relationship with an alcoholic who isn't working to change and improve?"

"Am I self-sacrificing? Does being self-sacrificing mean that I am a good person? Why? "

"Why don't I make my own self-growth and happiness the focus of my life? What programming did I grow up with in my family that makes me think I don't deserve to be happy?"