does it really matter?
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Awal,
This is simply a matter of trying to argue with a person who is not only having difficulty with life on a day to day basis, but who's disease tells him the solution to the added pressure of him being told he is continually screwing up is to self-medicate more. This isn't drinking at you. It's a survival thing.
Drinking can be because the sky is blue, or grey. We don't cause it, we can't control it and we can't cure it. We can, at times, contribute to the chaos by having expectations of an ill person who is in a personal battle with a chronic disease.
Prayer:
God/Higher Power/Great Spirit, please give me eyes to see, ears to hear and strength to embrace the illogical.
Meditation: I am enough. I allow others to be enough also, right where they are. All is well.
This is simply a matter of trying to argue with a person who is not only having difficulty with life on a day to day basis, but who's disease tells him the solution to the added pressure of him being told he is continually screwing up is to self-medicate more. This isn't drinking at you. It's a survival thing.
Drinking can be because the sky is blue, or grey. We don't cause it, we can't control it and we can't cure it. We can, at times, contribute to the chaos by having expectations of an ill person who is in a personal battle with a chronic disease.
Prayer:
God/Higher Power/Great Spirit, please give me eyes to see, ears to hear and strength to embrace the illogical.
Meditation: I am enough. I allow others to be enough also, right where they are. All is well.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 32
My perspective in the matter is that you will almost always be disappointed expressing your feelings to an A who is actively drinking. However if you are going to do it, do it when you are fairly certain he is sober (even if its just temporarily so). Under the influence the A cannot be considerate of you and your feelings.
Remember in the long run that the As frontal lobe is being hijacked by the alcohol. When I remembered this biochemical reality it helped me a lot.
Remember in the long run that the As frontal lobe is being hijacked by the alcohol. When I remembered this biochemical reality it helped me a lot.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 821
Originally Posted by bananapancakes 
Remember in the long run that the As frontal lobe is being hijacked by the alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 32
I recommend reading the book "Beyond the Influence" by Katherine Ketcham. It really goes into detail on what happens in the brain as alcoholism progresses. Its by far the most informative book I read about alcoholism.
I also found the following article which you can google: Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research. "Alcoholic men demonstrate a deficit in empathy and distorted view of irony." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 8 November 2012
Hope this helps.
I also found the following article which you can google: Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research. "Alcoholic men demonstrate a deficit in empathy and distorted view of irony." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 8 November 2012
Hope this helps.
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