Glenjo99

Cannot stop crying and overwhelming sense of him. I don't think I'll ever get over it. 3 months of advice and tips and I'm worse than ever. It's beyond forum help I'm guessing

kevlarsjal2

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad Glenjo. Is there any other support you can get? Could you go to a meeting today/tomorrow or maybe see a therapist, talk to a good friend, etc?

Glenjo99

Going to have to

kevlarsjal2

If you feel like you have an actual nervous breakdown, maybe even consider ringing a helpline or going to a hospital if you think you need medical help. Be safe!

qtpi

Sometimes the feelings are so overwhelming. Go see someone you trust. Or even call your doctor and go right away. An Emergency Room if you have to. Be safe! The feelings you have are temporary but you still deserve help and support. Let us know what happens. I have heard breaking up with someone can be as painful as withdrawing from heroin.

dandylion

I'm wondering it the fact that it is your birthday, might not be a factor...? I know that significant days and anniversaries are big triggers during the first year…..

teatreeoil007

Hi glenjo. We are here for you. You have our care and support... hang in there...

Glenjo99

I'm ok, just uncontrollable crying tonight. I'm never going to get over him

kevlarsjal2

What does it even mean to get over someone? I'm sure you will get better though and learn to be happy without him. I am not familiar with all your other threads but there must've been reasons why it didn't work out. Keep reminding yourself of those too when you miss him. Think about how your life will also be easier in many aspects without him. And also allow yourself to grieve. No one expects you to feel great when your relationship just ended. That would be worrisome I think.

Edit: Oh and it was your birthday today?

maia1234

Sending big bear hugs to you. Try and eat something, drink plenty of water and get some sleep. Hopefully tomorrow will be an easier day.

I am sorry, but just like an addict you take one hour at a time. You can do this my friend!!

Sasha1972

I am really sorry to hear you feel so badly. I know that you will get over him, even though it feels like you won't. What you're feeling right now is awful, but it will end. Wishing for strength for you.

PrettyViolets

You are not alone. Most of us on this forum really do need a good therapist after what we have been through. I always looked at this forum as free advice from others, like Al Anon. But it is like you hear their voices, but you do not really know what they look like and how they are in real life. If it is healthy for you, then keep coming back. If it ever becomes toxic, take a break from it. I took a break from this forum a couple of years ago. No regrets. I just needed to hear my voice. I lost who I really was--trying to please my husband and everyone else out there in the universe, even this forum. I came back when I was stronger.

Wamama48

I went through that a few months ago. Sometimes you just need to cry and cry and cry. Your mind and body need to release the heartbreak, stress and sadness. There are crisis councelors you can call, for free. I've found them very helpful. Its a good solution for the short term. You can also go into your local emergency room and ask to talk to a counselor. You will feel much better after talking about it. It sounds like its time to see a counselor on a regular basis. They can give you tools to help you get through this hard, hard time in your life. I wish I was there to hold your hand and listen to you talk. A cyber hug will have to do.

trailmix

It's normal but that doesn't make it any less painful, I know.

It will get better, it really will, hang in there. One other thing, I commend you for doing all this work on yourself but remember to take some time out (days) for just relaxing and having a break and to take care of yourself.

Working on yourself is hard work, the fact that your breakup is fairly recent is hard, mix the two together and that's a lot of tough emotional stuff all at once.

Maybe take a week to yourself and try to focus on caring for yourself only, no workbooks, no podcasts and yes, if you can get face to face support be that at the hospital or a counselling center please do. I know in the city where I live there is a walk in place that is open every day and you can go where it's first come first serve. You get to talk to a psychologist or therapist and they can refer you to someone else afterward.

SparkleKitty

When I took my first couple of baby steps on the road to recovery from codependency, I cried for about three months straight. Not an exaggeration, it was August to October, 2003.

I also thought I would never get over the person who had triggered my recovery. Looking back, I see now that those tears had nothing to do with that person, and everything to do with mourning all the time I had lost seeking validation from others, with all the unshed tears I had been swallowing since I was a little kid, with having an alcoholic mother and a codependent father more wrapped up in their own sick dance than with being the good and present parents I deserved.

I remember hurting all the time and wishing someone would just fix it.

Someone did. It was me. It took longer than I wished it would, but just as long as it needed to.

You're going to be okay. This is normal. Take care of yourself.

FeelingGreat

Yes you will. Better to get it out than bottle it all up. I predict you'll feel some relief by tomorrow.

When it happened to me I saw a doctor, and it helped a lot. The second time was a doctor I'd never been to before and he was great. Don't be afraid to seek help.

Clover71

I went through that. I finally went to my PCP and he prescribed meds for anxiety and depression. I've had anxiety my whole life. The depression was relatively "new". I was afraid to take them, but it really helped in that I wasn't thinking all the time about everything at once and at that point I was able to sort through things in a much manageable way. I took meds short term after having my second child and that also helped. I'm not saying this is what you should do, but it wouldn't hurt to get to your doctor. He / she can at least help you find a good counselor.

Crying can be a good form of therapy, but I felt crying out of nowhere was overwhelming
And yes, you will get over it

pdm22

Break-ups/ separation and loss from a loved one, coupled with all of the ups and downs that come with loving someone with these issues, the grief over it can feel like grieving a death. Maybe you’ll always love him, and that’s okay. Hang in there, cry it out, the intensity can come on like large waves, but eventually the waves of emotion break.

You said in another thread that you run, which is great. One thing that someone taught me a while back, that you may also find helpful, is when you are feeling super emotional, perhaps have some “left brained” activities on hand?. Puzzles (crossword, Sudoku, jigsaw), math books, logic problems, rubik’s cube..anything to get you out of “emotional mind” for a while. My personal favorite in the Rubik’s cube.

Hang in there, the break up is another part that really, really sucks

dawnrising

It was almost 1 year of us not living together before I had the overwhelming grief start. I had still been holding out slivers of hope. Believe it or not this is all part of the process. I burst into tears at the oddest times, I ate a ridiculous amount of sweets and took daily hot baths. I literally just existed for several weeks. I honored my grief, its okay its how you are dealing with things. This is progress it sucks but you can't move forward until your mourn what you have been through and for me it was what could have been .We are all on our own time table so be gentle with yourself. We are all here for you.

Glenjo99

Thanks appreciate the lovely comments and advice.

I'm ok today, think my birthday is magnifying everything combined with the work I'm doing lately. I need to accept it's a mourning and going to take a long time.