It's over except for formalities
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 367
It's over except for formalities
Hello SR friends! I am happy to report that mediation with STBXAH was successful. We came to an agreement that my shark of a lawyer called "a phenomenal deal" for me.
I'm not comfortable saying much because of the public nature of this forum, but I will say regarding STBXAH - he's not fooling anybody, except maybe people who are enabling him. His lawyer actually said something about his drinking, and the mediator said some things that led me to think that she gets it, too.
So we signed the mediation agreement, and it just has to be filed officially, and then it's over. I'll be as free from him as I can be until my kids grow up. I'm SO happy!
I'm not comfortable saying much because of the public nature of this forum, but I will say regarding STBXAH - he's not fooling anybody, except maybe people who are enabling him. His lawyer actually said something about his drinking, and the mediator said some things that led me to think that she gets it, too.
So we signed the mediation agreement, and it just has to be filed officially, and then it's over. I'll be as free from him as I can be until my kids grow up. I'm SO happy!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 367
After it was over, I sat in my car in the parking lot for about 20 minutes, just coming down from everything in the quiet. I had a visceral sense of a weight having been lifted from my chest. Once it's officially filed, I'll probably be able to levitate, LOL. It's like you don't really get how much stress you were harboring in your body until it is gone.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
From last winter:
Congratulations on seeing the madness and not getting sucked in to his manipulations.
Huge congrats on the settlement!
How are things going with work/school?
Oh yes, he is definitely pressuring me. The impetus for writing this post is that he texted me a little bit ago asking how I was coming on the paperwork. I haven't responded.
And yes, the deadline is arbitrary. I am very well aware that I am under no obligation whatsoever to cater to their desires. The thing is, that whole family is used to wielding power over people and getting things their way. They are very wealthy, have beautiful homes, fancy cars, but the inside is rotten - enmeshed, enabling, petty, and shallow.
And yes, the deadline is arbitrary. I am very well aware that I am under no obligation whatsoever to cater to their desires. The thing is, that whole family is used to wielding power over people and getting things their way. They are very wealthy, have beautiful homes, fancy cars, but the inside is rotten - enmeshed, enabling, petty, and shallow.
Huge congrats on the settlement!
How are things going with work/school?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 367
I'm done with school, I passed my boards and I have my license. The child support and alimony that I will be getting is enough for me to live on if I am frugal, which I am, so I have time to find a job that meets my needs as a single mom with young children (I have majority physical custody). It's easy to get a job on off-shifts in my field, but not as easy to find positions on days. I had been afraid that I was going to be forced to work graveyards, or worse be a 2nd/3rd floater, but that's not going to be the case. I am trusting the Universe to provide, and in the meantime am planning to use my time to continue studying things about my field on my own and also learn about personal finance.
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