Anyone diagnosed with Cumulative PTSD?
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,146
Long term emotional trauma is 100% as horrible as the most horrific physical trauma. I was in a slow cooker for ages, waiting for the next disaster to happen with my AH, always on the edge, always tense, just waiting, waiting for the next disaster. And it always did happen. And I always had to pick up the pieces... or so I thought. My biggest fear was that if something happened to me, there would be no one to care for him. And of course, the more I lived in fear, the more likely I was to be sick, meet accidents... etc, because my brain was too stressed to look after my body. The thing that tipped me over the edge and made me realize that I had PTSD was when the emotional violence eventually became physical (and this is why I do not believe that people who are emotionally abusive -- even "slightly" -- don't eventually become physically abusive... because it escalates... just my not-so-humble opinion based on my experience... take what you need and leave the rest). I think that the cumulative effects of fear on the body should not be underestimated. It doesn't matter what causes the fear for your safety: combat, domestic violence, whatever... real, sustained fear causes a real sustained injury to your nervous system. It injures the part of your brain that tells you if you need to be scared or not. This is just like the over-use and abuse of any body part. This is why ballet dancers get bunions or cracked toe nails, and why tennis players get tennis elbow... or why Beethoven went deaf in his later years and why Monet went blind. This is why if you are caring for an addict in your home, you have to prioritize your mental health so you can be strong enough to manage it... and also why you need to know when to take a break from it (or know that your mind and body can't handle going back because it's been injured too much). Don't ever be afraid to step back from someone else because you are never the only person in the world that can help them. Even if they won't go to anyone else for help, they still have someone else besides you: themselves.
Don't worry about the labels. Just be kind and carry on; you'll be okay.
Don't worry about the labels. Just be kind and carry on; you'll be okay.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 681
Where is that thread, Id love to read it.
Originally Posted by Gm0824 
I would just like to gently suggest to you that these are BIG things. Comparing yourself to others living with active addiction, I completely understand how we justify in our minds "it's not that bad" ... Think if you told any one of these things to a "normie". So happy for you to be seeing a counselor. Did you read the thread about the drip drip analogy and PTSD? I found if insightful. 
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,781
Originally Posted by dandylion
Wamama...I think that it is in one of the links that FireSprite gave in her post....
You Can Get PTSD From Staying In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship | PTSDJournal
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 681
"I would try not to worry too much about what's wrong with you, but focus on what you can do to make your life right." I like that idea, good advice. I've tried that the past two days and it really helps. Sure takes a LOT of effort to keep your mind off of that loop of sadness.
Originally Posted by OpheliaKatz
Well... I am diagnosed with PTSD, but it's not stopped me from moving forward and I dare say that my flash backs are not always a problem. I don't always have issues related to PTSD. The less I think about the things that have happened, the healthier I am. I did have to spend a lot of time unpacking my trauma before I could get to a point where I was thinking about it less.
I still have moments in the day where I feel terrible, and I like to give it a name: sinking moments. So sometimes I sink and I have to pull myself back up. I think that PTSD is manageable. I think your sister has quite a severe case of PTSD with dissociation. I hope she is seeing a psychiatrist regularly.
Of course, I'm not a doctor, so I can't say this is a fact, but I do think PTSD is manageable. I would compare it to having bunions. Some people have very bad bunions and walking hurts. Some people don't have a problem with walking, but wearing any sorts of shoes for too long hurts, and some people's bunions don't bother them unless they've been dancing at a disco for five hours in stilettos. I don't think my PTSD is a "serious", big thing. I mean, it's very inconvenient, and when I have flashbacks or anxiety attacks, it feels like a very big thing... but my health has improved over time.
It is possible to improve over time. Just always try to prioritize your self-care, because you can get triggered years down the road and end up back at square one (happened to me). I would try not to worry too much about what's wrong with you, but focus on what you can do to make your life right. Are you eating, exercising, and sleeping well? Are you working? Are you spending time with healthy people you love? These are the things you need in your life to be healthy regardless of if you have PTSD or not. Also, if you don't already have support from Alanon or a therapist, do get one. I found that the longer I was in my relationship, the more my body revolted against the situation and I now have chronic health issues to manage too... but my ability to manage my health is improving. Yours can too. (It has helped me a lot that I have NO CONTACT at all with my AH. I don't even know his number or where he is).
Maybe look at it this way: Life is cruel. You can get PTSD from a car accident, from getting treatments for cancer, from the death of a loved one, and obviously, from being in a relationship with an addict. Almost everyone has to manage the pain of loss eventually. I think this is why people love babies -- they remind us of what it was like to have lost nothing... yet. You sound like you have had a terrible time. I think your responses to what has happened are normal. I hope this reply helps. Maybe someone else has something more helpful to say?
I still have moments in the day where I feel terrible, and I like to give it a name: sinking moments. So sometimes I sink and I have to pull myself back up. I think that PTSD is manageable. I think your sister has quite a severe case of PTSD with dissociation. I hope she is seeing a psychiatrist regularly.
Of course, I'm not a doctor, so I can't say this is a fact, but I do think PTSD is manageable. I would compare it to having bunions. Some people have very bad bunions and walking hurts. Some people don't have a problem with walking, but wearing any sorts of shoes for too long hurts, and some people's bunions don't bother them unless they've been dancing at a disco for five hours in stilettos. I don't think my PTSD is a "serious", big thing. I mean, it's very inconvenient, and when I have flashbacks or anxiety attacks, it feels like a very big thing... but my health has improved over time.
It is possible to improve over time. Just always try to prioritize your self-care, because you can get triggered years down the road and end up back at square one (happened to me). I would try not to worry too much about what's wrong with you, but focus on what you can do to make your life right. Are you eating, exercising, and sleeping well? Are you working? Are you spending time with healthy people you love? These are the things you need in your life to be healthy regardless of if you have PTSD or not. Also, if you don't already have support from Alanon or a therapist, do get one. I found that the longer I was in my relationship, the more my body revolted against the situation and I now have chronic health issues to manage too... but my ability to manage my health is improving. Yours can too. (It has helped me a lot that I have NO CONTACT at all with my AH. I don't even know his number or where he is).
Maybe look at it this way: Life is cruel. You can get PTSD from a car accident, from getting treatments for cancer, from the death of a loved one, and obviously, from being in a relationship with an addict. Almost everyone has to manage the pain of loss eventually. I think this is why people love babies -- they remind us of what it was like to have lost nothing... yet. You sound like you have had a terrible time. I think your responses to what has happened are normal. I hope this reply helps. Maybe someone else has something more helpful to say?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 681
....real, sustained fear causes a real sustained injury to your nervous system....That's something that seems totally obvious, but I never gave it a thought. Hmm.QUOTE=OpheliaKatz;6832550]Long term emotional trauma is 100% as horrible as the most horrific physical trauma. I was in a slow cooker for ages, waiting for the next disaster to happen with my AH, always on the edge, always tense, just waiting, waiting for the next disaster. And it always did happen. And I always had to pick up the pieces... or so I thought. My biggest fear was that if something happened to me, there would be no one to care for him. And of course, the more I lived in fear, the more likely I was to be sick, meet accidents... etc, because my brain was too stressed to look after my body. The thing that tipped me over the edge and made me realize that I had PTSD was when the emotional violence eventually became physical (and this is why I do not believe that people who are emotionally abusive -- even "slightly" -- don't eventually become physically abusive... because it escalates... just my not-so-humble opinion based on my experience... take what you need and leave the rest). I think that the cumulative effects of fear on the body should not be underestimated. It doesn't matter what causes the fear for your safety: combat, domestic violence, whatever... real, sustained fear causes a real sustained injury to your nervous system. It injures the part of your brain that tells you if you need to be scared or not. This is just like the over-use and abuse of any body part. This is why ballet dancers get bunions or cracked toe nails, and why tennis players get tennis elbow... or why Beethoven went deaf in his later years and why Monet went blind. This is why if you are caring for an addict in your home, you have to prioritize your mental health so you can be strong enough to manage it... and also why you need to know when to take a break from it (or know that your mind and body can't handle going back because it's been injured too much). Don't ever be afraid to step back from someone else because you are never the only person in the world that can help them. Even if they won't go to anyone else for help, they still have someone else besides you: themselves.
Don't worry about the labels. Just be kind and carry on; you'll be okay.[/QUOTE]
Don't worry about the labels. Just be kind and carry on; you'll be okay.[/QUOTE]
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
