You can't Hide the sorrow.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 31
You can't Hide the sorrow.
I've posted several times to this site about my alcoholic son...tonight I sit here, once again, after dropping him at the hospital after another suicide call. It was the saddest thing I had ever seen. You see I had to make him leave my home a couple of months ago because He had verbally abused his younger sister's. He has been out in the world...living at extended stays...drinking...who knows how much....but I had to...I had no choice. Tonight I get a call and he again is wanting to kill himself. The weeks of drinking has taken a toll and when I pick him up to take him to the hospital...I see my son, my beautiful baby boy as a drunk. The drunk you see on the street, begging for money...dirty, frail, a mere fraction of the person he used to be. I'm numb. I'm so numb I can't take him inside into the emergency room again. I have to ask my husband to do the duty that his mother should be doing. I finally go in and wait for the doctor to come out and speak to me...he does and he says my son will once again go to the county mental hospital because he has, once again, let his insurance lapse. Again I am numb. I tell the doctor all I know to try to help my son but I say it this time with no tears, no feeling really...I think. My husband drives me home...I am so happy to be home!!! but the feelings have to get out I guess because within 1 hr of being home I start to through up uncontrollably!! I through up until there isn't anything else left in me...finally a somewhat feeling of ok comes over me. I thought I was being so strong...I thought I had felt all I could feel from years of this abuse...but my body showed me otherwise. The affects of alcoholism is never ending...it will manifest itself one way or the other. Alcoholism is truly a FAMILY disease. There isn't a way to get around that...take it from me.
Hi Nonnie, I’m here. I hear you. I’m listening. Your story breaks my heart. Every alcoholic is somebody’s child, and also a child of God. I have no way of helping you, except to tell you that my son is mentally ill, has had 2 suicide attempts, and has been in psych hospital too. Only he hated me and would not let me help. Refused to speak to me. Screamed GET OUT OF HERE to me. Would not let the doctors tell me one single thing, not even if he was still alive. He was 18. I’m here for you. I will pray for you and for your son.
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