Jelly123

Hi I’m a newbie and also a recovering alcoholic, been so for 10 months.
My spouse still drinks which I thought I was ok with and I have been ok with it. I just hoped that my sobriety would inspire him. I don’t mind his first few wines in the evening but after that when he starts slurring his words or getting picky with me I feel like I will explode. He is in a job where he is on call 24 hrs every fortnight and on those weeks he still drinks just as much making him over the limit for driving. So if he gets s call I drive him, he insists that he’ll be fine to drive but I know he’s not and I feel responsible for him and everyone else on the road. I don’t know how his clients can’t tell that he’s not sober. I myself an alcoholic for 20 years and was unable to drive my teenager to and from work because of this but since being sober it has become my job to get her from a to b. We live out of town. I don’t mind doing all of this for my daughter but I feel it’s unfair that I always have to do it. Also only am able to have a human connection/conversation with him in the mornings before work as this is his only sober time. I am going to start going to Al Anon as I realise It’s all my problem that I have to deal with. I can’t make him quit I know but I desperately want him too.

Spence7471

Putting your life on hold for him is not doing him justice and just enables him. You could simply say, "You drive into work, and i will call the cops". Then follow up with it. I had to do that to my wife, but it was work that I was threatening to call. That was her final wakeup call to get help.

Tough love is what is sometimes required, but you have to balance that with your situation.

T

Wamama48

Yep, tough love. They say its hard on the alcoholic and helps them come go their senses. And I agree. But I think it is tougher on us. I'm new here, I have no wisdom to share, just know you're not alone.