What is this ...
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 415
Originally Posted by keepingthefaith 
To find an attorney: pray, and follow. Put your heart, anger and exhaustion into the feeling of the prayer. Let yourself be lead to the right attorney you need.
As for understanding and comprehending... this is very doubtful during active alcoholism when we're trying to get through to the alcoholic.
The alcoholic's fears grow bigger as the disease progresses. Some fears will be focused on relentlessly, other fears will manifest into accusations and anger.
My husband had been told that if he relapsed and wasn't honest about it he would no longer have a job, yet when that happened he completely didn't comprehend it and was trying to keep working even as he was physically and mentally unable to.
My husband also feared me leaving, yet it seems the reality didn't hit until after I was gone.
As for understanding and comprehending... this is very doubtful during active alcoholism when we're trying to get through to the alcoholic.
The alcoholic's fears grow bigger as the disease progresses. Some fears will be focused on relentlessly, other fears will manifest into accusations and anger.
My husband had been told that if he relapsed and wasn't honest about it he would no longer have a job, yet when that happened he completely didn't comprehend it and was trying to keep working even as he was physically and mentally unable to.
My husband also feared me leaving, yet it seems the reality didn't hit until after I was gone.
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Hi, Scary.
Sounds like you are living in the in between, and that isn’t a comfortable place.
Seven months is a long time to wait when you have decided on a course of action.
Agree that researching attornies is a way forward to your goal.
Good luck.
Sounds like you are living in the in between, and that isn’t a comfortable place.
Seven months is a long time to wait when you have decided on a course of action.
Agree that researching attornies is a way forward to your goal.
Good luck.
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 497
Disclosure- I have not left my AH yet and am not quite there yet, but I understand some of what you feeling because I am pretty much done. I feel like my space is constantly invaded - it's the worst kind of what I call holding pattern. Sort of like when you are all dressed and ready for a party that doesn't start for hours yet. I also sometimes feel empty or numb. Like nothingness. I think it's the detachment. Hugs to you and hang in there. Perhaps you can do it sooner or at least start taking the steps so there is some tangible moving forward.
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 415
Originally Posted by Clover71
Disclosure- I have not left my AH yet and am not quite there yet, but I understand some of what you feeling because I am pretty much done. I feel like my space is constantly invaded - it's the worst kind of what I call holding pattern. Sort of like when you are all dressed and ready for a party that doesn't start for hours yet. I also sometimes feel empty or numb. Like nothingness. I think it's the detachment. Hugs to you and hang in there. Perhaps you can do it sooner or at least start taking the steps so there is some tangible moving forward.
I am sick today and he is being very nice and I let him, because, well I’m sick. But, it’s like I always want to say to him “you know this changes nothing” but think if I said that all the time it would be rather 6itchy and I really don’t want any more pain for either of us. I don’t want him to hurt anymore, and really am proud of him and his sobriety. But I am still resentful (very), and although I care deeply for him I just don’t want this for a relationship or a marriage. I will never trust his intentions again.
But again, yes, I feel like my space is constantly invaded and I can only tolerate him in little bits.
Hopefully we can fall into some sort of routine over the next couple weeks, or months...
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