coffeezest

I just had to shake my head and laugh tonight. My husband who hasn't had a drink since Christmas night, told me tonight he was going to have some red wine with dinner so it could help him become regular. Seriously! In over 30 years of marriage he's never used this line before. Alcohol as a stool softener.

He's had a drinking problem since day 1 and I've stayed and been co-dependent since day 1. It gets tiring as hell. I've been to a few Alanon meetings in the past and am going to look for one in my new location. I'm getting to the end of my rope.

Recently he's been drinking to full blackout stage. I retreat to my bedroom so I don't have to watch him. He stays up until at least 2am, drinking whiskey while watching heavy metal videos on tv. He sings full blast along with the music and is keeping my daughter and I awake. It's ridiculous. I've repeatedly asked him to cut his nights short so we can sleep - nope, he does what he wants.

He's taken to coming into my room for romance...not interested while he's drunk. I am when he's not drunk so at least we have that. I've started locking my bedroom door (separate bedrooms, he snores, sleep apnea) during his weekend drinking extravaganzas. He tried to come in on Black Friday, the door was locked and THANK GOD daughter was at work, he started yelling at me through the door calling me a f'ing b*tch, F-you and more.

I was so angry that I almost flung the door open and confronted him about it right then but didn't think it was wise in his state of mind. The next day I asked him what he remembered, he said nothing. I filled him in and said I'm not living like this anymore and that he needs to make changes or I need to. We've had several short chats about his drinking and he doesn't say much. He's probably on to me that if he lays low, I'll forget and life goes on as usual.

Anyway what a first post, huh? I've been reading here for quite a while, well since the day after Black Friday. Something snapped in me after hearing him swear at me that night and hearing that he was in a complete blackout. I'm looking forward to big changes in 2018!

So anyway, hello to all. I'm happy to have found you.

Done4today

Booze was the ultimate stool softener. I didn't have a decent bowel movement until I had 90 plus days sober.

Culture

Yeah that's the trouble with alcoholics, we would tell you any old s**t just so we could carry on drinking.
My marriage ended because of my ex's drinking and my most recent relationship ended because of mine.
It won't get better unless he stops for good, if he's drinking to blackout he's already past the point of ever being able to moderate.

dandylion

Coffeezest.....if you are to see changes in 2018....they will have to begin with you....
As a starter...learn all that you can. I am going to give you the following link to our large library of excellent articles....about alcoholism and the effects on the loved ones....I sincerely hope that you will take the time to read through them....
Knowledge is power.....

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...c-reading.html (Classic Reading)


***In addition to the articles...there is a book that is highly recommended by lots of people on this forum...including me....
It is "Co-Dependent No More".....It is a great read---hard to put down.....
You can get it o n amazon.com and/or the local library....