husbandtroubles

I have been on this crazy roller coaster for 11 years and wonder does it ever stay up... my husband has had a car accident after drinking too much, Gone to jail, had crazy high monatary price, he is now going through his body shutting down but still won't believe it. 4 months ago I rushed him to the hospital and as he was transported into the hospital he threw up his stomach lining. At least that is what I was told. He was in ICU 3 days. He has serosis of the liver as well. And at one point over the last 2 years had pancratitis. After this last one he promised he would stop and he hasn't drank in 4 months but I just caught him drinking. I told him after the last hospital stay I would leave if he drank again. I don't want to give up on him but I don't want to watch when his throat is completely eroded and bleeds to death either... any thoughts.

SparkleKitty

My thoughts are that at least one of you should be looking after themselves.

I'm sorry it's come to this, but your husband displays no willingness to really stop and get better. You've waited eleven years for him to change and suffered right alongside him. Letting go of something you have no control over is not the same thing as giving up, simply because his battle with alcohol is not and never was your fight to give up on.

dandylion

husbandtroubles....one basic rule of making boundaries for yourself...don't make them if you can't or won't enforce them......

Now that he is drinking. again...may I please ask what your plans are?

Would he be willing to go into a rehab facility?

husbandtroubles

I had not made a solid plan I guess because I had believed since the last hospital stay was so fightening and I had finally let his/our secret out to his family about his drinking problem. Or maybe just in denial. He was doing so well, lost weight, was eating right and looks great. I will have to move out of our house which I had not put myself in a place to do so but now working on. I have changed my auto deposit from my job into my own account and am looking for a new job so I can move into a family house out of state. My daughter and her husband had moved in with us because they lost everything in Harvey so they will have to figure out where they can go. They both are attending college and working so don't have much money.

He won't go to any kind of treatment. He has attended AA meetings and classes(court ordered) I tried my hardest to get him to go to treatment after his last hospital stay. He went cold turkey and thinks he can control it. He lost his job a year ago so he has nothing do all day.

dandylion

husbandtroubles....your description of his medical issues would suggest that he is in advanced stage of alcoholism. Things are not likely to get better if he continues to drink....
I am giving you the following link to our extensive library of articles about alcoholism and the effects on the loved o nes...I hope you will take the time to read through them.......
I think that alanon meetings would be a good support for you....fr om people who have been in your same shoes.....

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...c-reading.html (Classic Reading)