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Join Date: Aug 2017
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New here
Hi everyone I'm new to the forum and glad I found it I was with an alcoholic for 15 years had three kids went through all the typical emotional and mental abuse and some physical before I walked away I have been basically single since 2008 other then a brief relationship with another alcoholic who I broke things off with I think cause he was so needy therefore I had my needs met I guess in some perverse way there was no challenge ? I now find myself 4 months into a new relationship with a self professed alcoholic with no intention to quit and I feel like I'm right back where I was 9 years ago. I feel lost out of control and honestly stupid for putting myself back where I was. I really care about this guy but the disappearing has already started haven't seen him in five days I called him on it and it's as if it's totally fine. I know I shouldn't go down this road but I'm already so enmeshed in it I feel like a crazy person.I lost my job and because I'm a workoholic I don't really have any friends left I'm hoping to get support here talk to other people who understand what it's like to feel this way and hopefully to get help because I don't want to spend another 15 years trying to figure out what's happening or trying logic out behaviors that I know deep down have none. Anyway that's my story in a nutshell looking forward to getting to know everyone.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 573
Hi Nova. I'm sorry for what brings you here. It's ok to feel like a crazy person at times. Sometimes life gets that way. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Maybe its time to slow down just a little and take some time to find out what your really need (not want) to have some peace and serenity in your life. You already know that having an alcoholic for a mate isn't an easy path to go down. You only have 4 months invested in this new relationship, right? In the big scheme of things, that's not very much. Do you want to go down that road again or would it be better to save your heart and your sanity by disengaging now? Best wishes to you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
I know I shouldn't go down this road but I'm already so enmeshed in it
it's only been four MONTHS, dear new poster Nova. do what you KNOW you should do, act within your values, morals and ethics. you've been down this road before......the outcome is not going to change. you will get mangled in the wreckage.
walk away, today. just be done. do the next wise thing.
have you ever considered alanon? i think you would find that a welcome relief!!!
it's only been four MONTHS, dear new poster Nova. do what you KNOW you should do, act within your values, morals and ethics. you've been down this road before......the outcome is not going to change. you will get mangled in the wreckage.
walk away, today. just be done. do the next wise thing.
have you ever considered alanon? i think you would find that a welcome relief!!!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Nova...Welcome to the forum!
First off---I am going to give you a link to our "library" of wonderful articles about alcoholism and the effects on the loved ones. I hope you will look them over and read the ones that appeal to you
.http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...c-reading.html
Next...a question...have you ever considered therapy?
The reason that I ask, is because you reveal a couple of patterns, in your post, that you shared with us, I believe.
If you are a (true) workaholic....that is a way to avoid dealing with feelings and emotions, in a similar way that alcoholism is....
Also, three alcoholics in a row is a pattern.....and, patterns are driven by something.
Maybe it is time to halt and take some time out of your life to focus on yourself and find out what are the factors and forces that got you to this point....
You can find a ton of interesting articles on the subject of workaholism by just googling..."The Dynamics of Alcoholism".
I sure hope that you will hang around the forum and continue to post and to read and to learn....
Knowledge is power.
First off---I am going to give you a link to our "library" of wonderful articles about alcoholism and the effects on the loved ones. I hope you will look them over and read the ones that appeal to you
.http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...c-reading.html
Next...a question...have you ever considered therapy?
The reason that I ask, is because you reveal a couple of patterns, in your post, that you shared with us, I believe.
If you are a (true) workaholic....that is a way to avoid dealing with feelings and emotions, in a similar way that alcoholism is....
Also, three alcoholics in a row is a pattern.....and, patterns are driven by something.
Maybe it is time to halt and take some time out of your life to focus on yourself and find out what are the factors and forces that got you to this point....
You can find a ton of interesting articles on the subject of workaholism by just googling..."The Dynamics of Alcoholism".
I sure hope that you will hang around the forum and continue to post and to read and to learn....
Knowledge is power.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Nova,
Welcome my friend. Well since you are looking for a job there is plenty of time to read all the stuff dandy is pointing out to you. I do thing you might need to hit some alanon meetings as you keep attracting the same type of people. (Train wrecks)
I would cut it off immediately from abf, before you have more invested. I would do some sole searching of what you want in life. You are worthy of so much more, than one addict after another.
Let us know what you have found and learned. Hugs!!
Welcome my friend. Well since you are looking for a job there is plenty of time to read all the stuff dandy is pointing out to you. I do thing you might need to hit some alanon meetings as you keep attracting the same type of people. (Train wrecks)
I would cut it off immediately from abf, before you have more invested. I would do some sole searching of what you want in life. You are worthy of so much more, than one addict after another.
Let us know what you have found and learned. Hugs!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 665
Welcome Nova. Sorry for what brings you here. I relate as I went from addict to addict. Something in me attracted me to them and them to me.
Al-anon has been suggested above, I thoroughly recommend it. It was a life changer for me.
Al-anon has been suggested above, I thoroughly recommend it. It was a life changer for me.
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