homesick

Reply Subscribe

Page 2 of 2

Thread Tools

05-28-2017, 05:35 AM

# 21 (permalink)

Txbuttercup

Member

Thread Starter

Join Date: Feb 2017

Posts: 52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Redheadsusie

Hang in there - very proud of you for taking that step! It will get easier - I have been in my own place for six weeks and even though my brain tries to trick me sometimes about missing the nice AH - I just remember how terrible he was to me a lot and I read my old posts. My dog and I are getting settled and just enjoying the peace and not having someone yell at us or smell like a drunkard. Reach out if you need support - we are here!

I started keeping a password protected diary on my phone and recording his rants (legal here). I have one that's 3 solid hours and sometimes I'd record myself on the way home just to document my feelings. I don't intend for anyone else to hear them, but I go back and play snippets of him when I am feeling guilty or sad. This alone has been a tremendous help. I can't make excuses that I misheard, or misunderstood, or it was really that bad. It didn't and it was.

The only thing I miss about him is the potential I saw for so long. Reality is he never came close to reaching it. I haven't been able to listen to myself yet, but I'm hopeful one day it'll remind me of how far I've come.

05-28-2017, 07:13 AM

# 22 (permalink)

Bekindalways

Member

Join Date: Aug 2015

Location: Western US

Posts: 9,010

^^^^ You've so got this Txbuttercup! Good on ya for figuring this out.

That being said, it is still so, so difficult. Please take care and I'm praying there is a really good Alanon group somewhere around you.

I hope you are having a good weekend.