Nata1980

XAH just Skyped DS. Overheard him saying to DS - "ahh it is a good place to be right there, with mommy". Said in a sad voice....bless his heart.

Yesterday he was asking if I would please consider doing something "together" when he comes to see DS next time.

Good news - if that type of stuff would cause me to remember "good times" and have a twinge in my heart - there was absolutely nothing. In fact I started coming up with some important excuse not to spend time with him.

IMO - it is confusing to DS - this is my main concern. I don't think I am cut out for "friends with ex" setup. Have no idea how people do it.

PuzzledHeart

I could never quite manage it. I did give it a go with someone who lived across the country.

A mutual friend of ours was diagnosed with a brain tumor. The prognosis was three months. Two weeks after I notified him, he wrote a message, "How's [Friend's name]? By the way, do you know anybody with money who would be willing to invest in my business?" It reminded me of why I broke up with him in the first place.

I ripped him a new one, and blocked him from my life forever.

LexieCat

I think a lot depends on why you split up, and how people behave after. I'm VERY close friends with my first husband, who is happily remarried. We have always been kind and respectful of each other, and honestly LIKE each other. We just didn't work well in a marriage.

Ladybird579

I tried to be friends for a while due to my boys being 17 and exah remembering, for a brief time,they existed. Tried to "co-parent" What a joke lol. However I was seriously shocked at how he is and stunned I'd ever given him the time of day never mind 20 years of my life. He's blocked now and my boys are 18 and it is up to them. They haven't seen or heard from him for months tho,

AnvilheadII

my ex and i were able to "do" things together - as in both be AT the soccer game, or AT parent-teacher night, and when he coached the CYA bball team and i was score keeper we road together in one car.

but we did not DO lunch together as a family, or go to the: park, zoo, playground, movies, water park, family fun center or go-carts.

and every once in a while he would call just to "vent" - i stuck to uh huh, oh really?, and then what? and when he'd come to a pause, i'd ask, are you finished? sometimes he still had more. he didn't EXPECT anything out of me, it wasn't a "please help fix this for me" thing, he just needed someone not really related to whatever the "bitchfest" had been about. i rarely had any recall of anything he said.