PuzzledHeart

And perhaps your mother's spirit will help guide you as well.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

firebolt

THat's great, and maybe that's what HE would do.

Only you know what you've been through.

I left my xabf 2 weeks before my dad passed away from terminal cancer. I just could NOT deal with both the x's crazy issues, and my sweet dad's quickly failing health. So I stopped with the x, and it was the best thing I could have done for myself. You have some very difficult days ahead, I think surrounding yourself with ONLY the most supportive, gentle, and loving people is the best move you can possibly make for yourself. Take care of yourself HH. (((HUGS)))

hearthealth

Thank you Firebolt, I'm still raw and greiving.

Refiner

My heart is heavy with yours hh knowing what you've been through with the loss of your Mother much in the same way I lost mine. May God give you the strength to your serenity and freedom from your pain.

hope778

HH I am just coming up to speed on your thread here, and I want to wish you my deepest condolences. May God bless you and keep you (and your children) during this most difficult time. Your mother is experiencing a peace we know nothing of here on earth.

I am so sorry you are not receiving the support from the one person you feel you should be getting it from. I understand that all too well, unfortunately. I wish I could provide more for you. You sound very strong although you may not feel it at this moment. You are continuing to make great (and difficult) decisions for you and your family. You are being a great rock.

I pray for peace, successful grieving, and brightness in your future for you and your family.

hearthealth

Monday I'm calling the new lawyer to set up an appointment. Just to meet her and get some information, baby steps.

FeelingGreat

You go as fast or slow as you can cope with right now. Information is empowering. As you say, baby steps.

I understand what your brother's getting at about the 6 months, but your situation isn't a sudden revelation; it's been evolving for years, so you're not rushing into anything.

honeypig

Exactly. When I first found out what had been going on in my situation, I was hollering about divorcing XAH right that moment, out of anger at having been deceived and used. Alanon told me to wait a year before making any big changes.

In my case, that was the right course of action--I'd just had a MAJOR change in my view of reality and needed time to get my feet back under me and my head in order.

In YOUR case, this is NOT something you are finding out about for the first time. It's something that has been building for a long time and you are approaching your breaking point. It's still a shock to the system when we take the blinders all the way off, but this is NOT a new development, and I feel it would be a mistake to treat it as if it was.

hearthealth

I wanted so much this morning to tell him to move out. To move in with his mom. He didn't even realize he kissed me but I made no effort to kiss.

That inner voice said slow down. Call the lawyer. Pack up the nonessential essentials. The important things are already out. Plan more than act at this time.

I feel sad. The children just lost their grandmother. They're taking it hard. Their world will also be turned upside down by losing the image of a family. Henceforth, the need for the counselor.

honeypig

hearthealth, you're teaching your kids a huge lesson right now--you are teaching them how to make a change even though things are sad and scary. You're showing them that it is possible--and RIGHT--to start over when things have gone wrong. They will be at this place in their lives again, and right now you are showing them HOW to get thru it and THAT IT IS POSSIBLE to get thru it.

This is a huge life lesson. I wish you strength and clarity that increases w/each step.

dandylion

hearthealth....keep listening to your head.....your heart is too vulnerable to be trusted, at this time.
You are making the best decision for the children.
guard against the FOG...Fear...Obligation...Guilt.....
And, don't forget that courage appears at just the moment that you need it.
Have faith in that....