joyfulheart

Hello! :O)

I just popped in to see how Linda was doing when I found your post.

My hubby has been out of a 28 day program for just about 2 weeks now, and it is more exhausting than when he was drinking!!! He has stuffed his emotions for so long now they are coming out every which way?!@#%$@%^%???!!

After the treatment center, I didn't want him to come home and checked into a half-way house for 3 hours then walked out and came home!!!!!

During their recovery they are taught to continue to be selfish and put their sobriety before all else!! Sometimes when we try to be selfish and heal ourselves they don't believe that we are that hurt and told "GET OVER IT ALREADY??!!!???!!"

For the first time in 10 years I've started taking care of myself and he is having a really hard time with it. But I can't lose me anymore, i spent every day just existing and not living and that is no way to live!!!!!!

Got to run, he'll be home soon...
i hope to talk to you soon!

take care of you!!!
hugs
joyfulheart

mindybadger

Joyful Heart,
Thank you, I'm taking it one HOUR at a time at this point. So you have the opposite thing happening, huh? I talked to his sister after he told me we were breaking up, and she sort of agreed with me that he doesn't have any love left in his heart for me or anyone. Then he changed his mind and apparently we're back together. It feels like as long as I don't make any waves and don't question him about anything, and don't try to assert my rights, then he'll agree to stay. I don't know how long I can live like THAT, but I'm looking into ways to take care of myself financially, and am just realizing that I can't change or influence what he does right now. I don't know if I'm going to go home and find that he lapsed again. I expect that he'll continue to have no emotions for me, although this morning he did call me "honey", which seems at odds with what he was saying yesterday. Maybe his telling me we're breaking up is a way for him to start to express his emotions. I suspect he's blaming me for our financial stress and his lapse. Typical. He just seems really confused, so I guess I won't expect anything from him relationship wise. This sucks, but what else can I do? Like you said - I"m going to take care of myself. So...I'm on my way to an AlAnon meeting. Take care and God help us! I don't mean that in a dramatic way you know...
Mindybadger

LonelyGirl4210

Wow. I am going through a similar situation and after reading this thread i feel so much better. I DONT FEEL ALONE ANYMORE. but i need some ADVICE! please help.
My boyfriend of about a year rent to rehab for an addiction to painkillers and somas. He did very well at the place and has moved to a better environment with relatives that live 5 hours away. He originally lived only down the road from me and we were together all the time. Now it has been about a month since he went away and we hardly ever talk. He can text me, but he doesnt. He keeps his responses short if he does reply. I went to go see him for a weekend but he was distant and didnt feel well and apologized for not feeling well right before i left. I know he loves me and wants to stay together through this and he told me once we get through this it will make us stronger. However, i feel like im slowly losing him. I love him. He is my soulmate and the man I want to spend the rest of my life with but I dont know how to get through this. After reading these threads i realized i needed to not call or text him so much and to give him space and let him come talk to me when he is ready. But it is just so hard. All i do is cry to my friends and try to get them to distract me. But he is my bestfriend and everything is so boring without him. I want to be the best girlfriend for him right now but I feel like im being selfish. I just dont know what I should do so that I dont push him away or lose him. HELP!
I just dont know what to do.

Taking5

LonelyGirl,

I cannot say anything to help you, but you need to understand that you are replying to a 7 year old post!

You should just start your own thread. That's my best advice.

Bernadette

Hi Lonely girl--

I just dont know what to do.

Have you tried AlAnon or Naranon? Maybe give it a try - it helps many!!

Also, as dgillz pointed out - this is an old thread maybe post a new thread and mention some of your struggles - many will come to share their experience strength and hope!!

Hang in there - SR is a great place - read lots of threads! Stick around! You are not alone.
Peace-
B.