Tiny Furniture
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Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 869
Tiny Furniture
I am having a brand new sectional delivered on Wednesday and it feels like Christmas is coming early! I also bought myself a new headboard and intend on finally taking my television in for repair. Going to the furniture store this Saturday was sobering for lack of a better word. I saw the same people who assisted me in buying the very same sofa just short of a year earlier. During that trip I was with the A and he helped me pick it out. How strange it was to be back there alone, looking for its replacement. The same model sat there
exactly where we left it. Even the time of day and day itself was the same as it was 1 year ago. This time the trip to the store was less exciting because I was buying the same thing, but for much more an unfortunate reason. I chose a different color despite my preference for the original. I did it to will something different into my home.
The sofa is just one of the things the A has ruined. Now that he is forbidden from coming inside, I have my sanctuary back and I am excited to rebuild it. When things got bad for us I could never escape and all the things I worked hard to build in my tiny little apartment, were destroyed.
On Wednesday they are also coming to take out the old sectional that is only 11 months old but soaked in the things that come out of my drinking, raging A. Watching it go will be cathartic.
Sometimes when I slip into sadness, I think about the moral dilemma of the alcoholic ruining furniture in all their sickness. When the furniture store people never asked, yet I still found the need to explain why I was in there buying the same sofa just under a year after it was sold, I quickly explained that I lived with a very sick person I was caring for and it was ruined - I realized they must have pictured an elderly grandparent or someone ridden with disease due to genetic lottery , would I be as upset if the sickness was born of chemotherapy instead? Of course I wouldn't be. But maybe the biggest difference here is that chemo is part of treatment, whereas avoiding treatment, is the addict's choice.
I won't make this thread about 'addiction as a disease like cancer', but instead a way to remind myself of these little joys where I can feel safe again and know that as of today, I will never again need to hold my breath on the elevator up to my place - not if I don't want to. Never do I need to turn the key with quickened heart to see the damage that awaited. The new sectional can be a start.
exactly where we left it. Even the time of day and day itself was the same as it was 1 year ago. This time the trip to the store was less exciting because I was buying the same thing, but for much more an unfortunate reason. I chose a different color despite my preference for the original. I did it to will something different into my home.
The sofa is just one of the things the A has ruined. Now that he is forbidden from coming inside, I have my sanctuary back and I am excited to rebuild it. When things got bad for us I could never escape and all the things I worked hard to build in my tiny little apartment, were destroyed.
On Wednesday they are also coming to take out the old sectional that is only 11 months old but soaked in the things that come out of my drinking, raging A. Watching it go will be cathartic.
Sometimes when I slip into sadness, I think about the moral dilemma of the alcoholic ruining furniture in all their sickness. When the furniture store people never asked, yet I still found the need to explain why I was in there buying the same sofa just under a year after it was sold, I quickly explained that I lived with a very sick person I was caring for and it was ruined - I realized they must have pictured an elderly grandparent or someone ridden with disease due to genetic lottery , would I be as upset if the sickness was born of chemotherapy instead? Of course I wouldn't be. But maybe the biggest difference here is that chemo is part of treatment, whereas avoiding treatment, is the addict's choice.
I won't make this thread about 'addiction as a disease like cancer', but instead a way to remind myself of these little joys where I can feel safe again and know that as of today, I will never again need to hold my breath on the elevator up to my place - not if I don't want to. Never do I need to turn the key with quickened heart to see the damage that awaited. The new sectional can be a start.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Smarie....good move.
Another thing that is often recommended for getting through the grief is to make lots of changes in the environment that you live in. (beyond the new sofa).
Rearrange the furniture, to the extent possible. Put objects that the person used, out of sight....Things, like their favorite mug or particular drinking glasses.
Paint the bedroom a different color. Change out the wall art..or rearrange it...
The environment can be very triggering of memories....so, the more changes you make, the better.
That goes for yourself, also. Buy new pajamas....switch to a new perfume.
Chang your hairstyle. buy some new clothes. Cook some new kind of food....
Listen to some different music......
Another thing that is often recommended for getting through the grief is to make lots of changes in the environment that you live in. (beyond the new sofa).
Rearrange the furniture, to the extent possible. Put objects that the person used, out of sight....Things, like their favorite mug or particular drinking glasses.
Paint the bedroom a different color. Change out the wall art..or rearrange it...
The environment can be very triggering of memories....so, the more changes you make, the better.
That goes for yourself, also. Buy new pajamas....switch to a new perfume.
Chang your hairstyle. buy some new clothes. Cook some new kind of food....
Listen to some different music......
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