amy55

OK, there is a lot out there now this week in politics about sexual abuse, sexual assault, etc......

I know that many woman are out there, married or not married that have experienced this.

I know I have, numerous times, I don't think I can even count the number of times.

I was sexually assaulted by boyfriends, strangers, and my ex.

I do think that this is a good time to talk about these things. We do go through a lot trying to deal with these things, and needing validation.

I'll go first, this was one of the more calmest one.

I was out on maternity leave. I had a baby. I came back to work, I was called into the assistant managers office. He was telling me that they were making a list of the most attractive woman in the office, but since I was on maternity leave, they didn't consider me. He told me that they re did the list, and I was the second most attractive person in the office.

(((((((((((((hugs to everyone))))))))))))))))))))
amy

Refiner

In the 80's I had an older male boss stare at my chest when having conversations (I was 22 yo) so bad I had to point to my upper face and interrupt him saying "my eyes are up here". Geesh 🙄

53500

When I was 19, standing on a crowded subway train, I felt something that at first I attributed to the crowds, train movement---something not deliberate.

But it was between my legs and sure as hell was deliberate. I was horrified and scared and unable to move much at all.

I never told anyone until this week, with all that's been in the news. I told my partner and a female friend who also experienced sexual assault and never told anyone until now. Perhaps some good will come out of these events.

hearthealth

When I was 16 a family friend bought me a t- shirt for my birthday. The only thank you he wanted was a kiss on the lips. I can remember the stare and grin on his face. I stated NO and went to my room. I got punished for being disrespectful. My father never seen the issue. Creeped me out. Sick to my stomach even thinking about it to this day.

amy55

I was 21, went out to a bar in NYC with my friends. I went to the bar to get 2 beers, on the way back to the table, someone grabbed my a$$. I turned around and saw who he was. I got back to my table, and I told my friends, they told me that the next time he gets up, to do it back to him. I just couldn't see me doing that to another person, but I did. I did it in front of his entire table that he was sitting with, and told him, don't you ever touch me like that again.

Sotiredofitall

14 when a man I had been babysitting for was taking me home. He was trying to put his hand up my clothes and I didn't tell anyone. I wouldn't bbsit for them again, but was so creeped out and scared.
Again when I was 21 and working at the healthcare center at the college I went to. Male teacher tried to corner me. Tried being the main word here.
When I was very young my brothers both took liberties that should not have been taken and showed me and had me touch. Thought I was pregnant for two years cuz I hadn't started my period. Never told a soul until I was in my late 40's.

I always felt that it was my responsibility that these things happened and very ashamed.

SmallButMighty

When I was 16years old and taking my road test to get my driver's license the man who was administering the test put his hand on my thigh while I was driving in semi-heavy traffic. I wanted my license so bad I kept my mouth shut. I later came to find out he did the same thing to many of the other girls in my high school. It sickens me to think about how many young women he must have touched.

My ex-father-in-law asked me _several_ inappropriate sexually explicit questions about my preferences and behaviours. Disgusting.

Lilro

My ex father in law flashed me. Ugh! The thought of it makes me sick.

Praying

My married boss made a serious, repeated pass at me on a business trip (I was also married), and kept hitting on me in conference rooms and such after getting back home...I asked him not to but he thought I was "just kidding" even though I was very clear...I was so uncomfortable I decided I couldn't work there anymore.

Kudos to my company who said--wait a minute--please don't quit...looked into it, and fired him three days later...with him still saying "I don't see what the problem is"...

That was 15 years ago and I still work there. Awesome company. BUT, even though I consider myself a strong woman, I completely understand why women don't speak out and just walk away instead. Someday I'll write my book and share the experience. It felt horrendously shameful even though I did nothing wrong. And I was so afraid to be labeled a liar, or a tease, or who knows what...

Down the road it resulted in depositions, which was even worse as his lawyer tried to make me look bad and twist everything...but he didn't get a dime!!!

Hangnbyathread

It doesn't just happen to women.

I was sexually molested by my brother from around age 6 til around 10-12. Sketchy on specific ages as I learned I have repressed memories. I remember it better by grades of School I was in.

At around age 8 he made me perform acts on his friends.

I told my family 3 years ago.

If there is a hell, he has earned it.

Alaskachick

My mother was an incest victim, (her alcoholic father), my sister was kidnapped from a bus stop in Hawaii and gang raped by three men from another country, and my first sexual encounter was a date rape at age 18. I've heard it said that sexual assault is the most under reported type of crime. Sadly many people who experience trauma as a result of sexual assault do self-medicate with drugs and alcohol. Time, therapy and the support of many wonderful friends have helped me; however many people never fully recover. Some wounds are very hard to heal.

velma929

I flirted with my boss when I was 18. He made a physical pass. (Mind you, he had reason to believe I'd be receptive.) I realized it was a bad idea and rejected him. He treated me like dirt for the rest of the summer, and I didn't dare tell my parents because, frankly, I had been a party to flirting. I do resent he couldn't take rejection like a man, though. I experienced frottage on a bus once, and I didn't dare turn around to see who it was. I suspect it was my college classmate, who was already an alcoholic and oddly, just about to come out of the closet as gay. And the third time it was a man in my ballroom dance class who just could not do a particular figure without copping a feel every time we did the step. I thought he was clumsy, until after class and women were lined up to speak to the instructor. When the perp saw that, he (and his girlfriend!) quickly left.

amy55

I was babysitting for my cousins children when I was about 13. It was going to be a late night so I got the children to bed, then I went to sleep on the couch. At about 12:30am her brother, (yes , my cousin also came home.) He didn't live with them he still lived at home with his mother who lived upstairs. But he came into where I was. I was on the couch sleeping. He laid down on the couch with me, and started to fondle me. It was so quick and fast because my cousin who I was babysitting for came home then. My male cousin ran out a different door and would have said that I was crazy. I never told anyone till now.

I also wanted to say that I am sorry, if it may have felt that guys couldn't respond here also. I know that it happens to you also. Hangnbyathread, I also hear you.

I'm really hoping that this stuff is coming into the light now, that they keep it there.

(((((((((hugs))))))))))
amy

Zak68

We had an exchange student two years ago. Another family in town had another girl and we were the local rep who kept track of her status. One morning she called us crying and said she was molested by the brother in the house. We told her to pack her gear and we would pick her up. Once she was home with us we called the host family. They talked to the son.
Her story: she woke up to find him in her room, he had the blanket up and was fondling her.
His story (that they believed): he said he just came in to kiss her good night.
So glad we got her out and she had a good experience with us while here in the US. Her mom came over to meet us after she heard the news. She hugged us and told us she felt safe knowing we had her daughter for the rest of the time.