katie44

My spouse has been to court x2 many years ago on a DUI charge , both times he beat the charge with an expensive lawyer. 9 years ago he was charged and convicted of impaired driving. He lost his licence. We work in our own business so I had no choice but too drive him back and fourth daily for 7 years . Of course he could not admit the pressure nor stress it out on me . He stopped drinking and started attending church . He seemed to be a different person . He did have a couple of slips during that time . In January he got his licence back . One week after getting it back he was drinking and driving again . He drove home drunk with one of our employees . I was in total shock ! After 7 years of not driving it affected his livelihood , his entire life and mine . Of course he said sorry it would not happen again . Fast forward to Father's Day . I was away for the weekend and came home early he was at a strip club with our AS . Both were very drunk I tried to take the keys from him , he would not hand them over . I called for people to call the police in the parking lot of course they ignored me . He drove home absolutely pissed . We own a business and most recently he's claiming he's stopping for lunch while driving our commercial vehicle . I have smelt alcohol on him . I am beside myself ! Of course he says he has no problem . Too go drinking with our addict son infuriated me , but to get behind the wheel of a vehicle drunk unbelievable !!! The liability , the danger , his livelihood ! All of it ! I'm too old and tired for this crap . I was a fool to believe he had changed . He's always been a functioning alcoholic , when he stopped he was still a dry drunk . Right now he says I'm ridiculous I need to trust him . He's only drank and drove twice since January . What kind of an idiot says that ?

Refiner

What kind of idiot says that? An alcoholic does. When an incident caused by him drinking happens, you are very likely to lose everything bc of your liability. Are you willing to wait until that happens?

dailystruggle1

One of the main triggers of me asking my abf to leave was when he had an accident in the car whilst driving my 9 year old. A friend of mine said to me that if my son was hurt, I wouldn't blame the alcoholic, I would blame myself for allowing it to happen. It was true. I had awful arguments with my abf trying to stop him drinking and driving. That was when I knew enough was enough. Of course he is 6 weeks into sobriety, head held high and acting like none of this happened. It's like he is walking on air, looking down on me and pitying me.

Crazy crazy times. I really feel the pain you're in and hope you get some clarity on the situation. I wish I could say something comforting but Just know you're not alone 😔

LexieCat

OK, so you've "had enough." What does that MEAN?

I mean, pretty clearly you can't stop him from drinking, or from drinking and driving. Do you have a plan? Have you talked to a lawyer?

dandylion

katie44.....there finally comes a time when you just have to do what you know you have to do......

SmallButMighty

Ultimately it was my own health issues, namely debilitating anxiety, that finally made me say enough is enough and leave my XAH. A large part of that anxiety stemmed from the fact that despite his prior DUI he was continuing to drink and drive.. and I don't mean "have a few and drive" ( not that even that is OK), I mean DRUNK driving. In was inconceivable to me that after all his previous charge had cost us, on so many fronts, that he could even consider getting behind the wheel intoxicated. Mind boggling. And damn hurtful.

maia1234

Katie,
I am not sure what you are waiting for. You have been on SR for 10 years.

What will it take for you to accept who he is. He is an alcoholic.... he has no self control over right or wrong. Its a matter of time before he will get another DUI, kill someone or himself. This will all fall back on you as you and your company will be sued.

I would highly recommend you hitting some alanon meetings or open AA meetings. As you know Alcoholism is a progressive and It will get worse. Sending hugs my friend, its a horrible disease, but you do have the power to move forward.

Nata1980

Time to fire him from his "duties".

You don't want to wait till something terrible happens. This is what got me to divorce XAH - I could no longer tolerate the risk of him driving our son, and did not want to lose everything in case he killed someone on the road....

torquemax777

I had written a long reply and it suddenly disappeared and I'm hoping it went happen again. I had said that I heard sometime here on the forums that if they cause damages or injuries you could wind in with a lawsuit and will probably lose because your name on the insurance and titles and stuff? And DUI's in themselves make insurance rates higher and some won't even insure you because he has access to the vehicle.

I know all that first hand with my Ah, and what really struck me about your story is mine too has an affinity for driving drunk despite multiple DUI's. He will tell you, "there's just something about an old dirt road, a
12 pack of beer and listening to tunes...."