amy55

Refiner, you're right, I didn't explain this correctly at all. I was in a dazed state after the phone call.

Friday, Oct 7th, my daughter was supposed to have her H served with divorce papers. They called her the night before and told her there was a backlog and it would be about 2 weeks before they could serve him. She then left the home while the children were at school. She told her H that she had to help out a friend with a medical issue. She then told him about 2 days later that she had filed for a divorce and that she was not coming home until he was out of the house. She left the children with him.

Yesterday, she decided she wanted to go back home, and she filed a restraining order against her H to get him out of the house. So she has the children now.

(Note.... I had strongly expressed my views of her running away from home and leaving the children with her H while she was also trying to seek supervised visitation)

So, after she did go home, and after he was forced to leave, my daughter called me, my son-in-law called my son.

My son called me after all of this. He is afraid that neither of them can raise the kids on their own. He expressed his fear of him having to call CPS on them and that if he did that, he would probably get guardianship. His biggest fear was that he wouldn't want to call CPS for that reason.

(Note... There isn't that much of a reason to call CPS where they would take the children away. There is mostly neglect. Neglect which is leading to behavior problems with the children. They are clean, they do eat, they don't have bruises on them. It's more emotional neglect. It's enough for my son and I to have concerns over this. I have never expressed my concerns to my son till last night, mostly because of when my daughter had filed a restraining order against me stating that I had called CPS on her in 2009, I did not do that) I instead found a way to remain on her good side so that I could watch and give her support and hints from the sideline.

This is my daughter who has lupus? I put the question mark there on purpose. I strongly believe she needs a psychiatrist that specializes in hypochondria and histrionic personality disorder. I am not labeling her, it was just after doing some research when I put those 2 things together, I can more easily talk to her, and sometimes get her to do the right thing.

My son-in-law, I would also say needs a psychiatrist. He has attempted suicide, was diagnosed as depressed, refuses to take any meds, also appears to be anti-social. He has not worked since 2008, and doesn't want a job because he would have to leave the house. He earns money with on line gambling. His winnings last year was around $100,000. He never puts that computer down. He gets up about noon, and goes to sleep about 4 am. I know this because I lived with them for awhile.

So talking to my son last night was strange. I never voiced these concerns of mine to him, and he was telling me about his fears about this and they were the same as mine.

It did come up last night about the RO that she put on me, and that he also appeared in court with her. He brought that up. He told me that at the time, he did think I called CPS on her to harass her, but doesn't believe that at all anymore, and apologized for the year and a half that he refused to speak to me because of that. We also discussed some of the other conflicts that we had between the 2 of us. We both accepted our own parts in those conflicts. We both promised to from now on to think before we jump, and if either one of us jumps first to know that we can make it better again.

I think all in all, my son and I did have a good conversation, and that we are closer, we are just both really concerned right now about my daughter, his sister.

His main question to me was how can he support his sister. I told him to give her as much emotional support as he can, but to remember that he also has his own life. I didn't know what else to say.

Again, thank you for letting me dump this stuff here, so that I can get it out of my head.

amy

Refiner

Oh wow... I would tend to be less worried about her (and the anti-social gamble-holic dad) than I would those two boys. Thank God their are two pairs of eyes on them assessing their situation (yours and your son's).