He finally left
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 179
He finally left
I have been waiting for this day for a month or longer. The axbf finally took his bed to his new home. Packed his clothes, socks and underwear and is gone. He asked his new roommate to help move his bed, and he did. The new roomie seems really nice and normal. I wish my xabf the best and hope he can become responsible and make good choices for himself and our son.
But, for me, this chapter is finally closed. Once he left, I swear my body became heavy and it became hard to move around from room to room. I feel like all the tension is just washing away. The relief is immense, almost paralyzing. I am not going thru any self-doubt as I have done in the past. Just glad this ride is over, finally.
I will be back in a day or two once I process this some. Who knows where my head will be then, but from this vantage point, I am feeling relatively good. My son seems relatively at ease. I let him know it's OK to feel sad or mad or confused and that if he needs to talk, I am here. He assures me he will be fine, and I believe him.
But, for me, this chapter is finally closed. Once he left, I swear my body became heavy and it became hard to move around from room to room. I feel like all the tension is just washing away. The relief is immense, almost paralyzing. I am not going thru any self-doubt as I have done in the past. Just glad this ride is over, finally.
I will be back in a day or two once I process this some. Who knows where my head will be then, but from this vantage point, I am feeling relatively good. My son seems relatively at ease. I let him know it's OK to feel sad or mad or confused and that if he needs to talk, I am here. He assures me he will be fine, and I believe him.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 179
He has been gone for a few days. It feels so peaceful. I am glad I am moving though because I still get glimpses of him around here, memories. The house is staying cleaner, there is no arguing, no drinking. I asked the kiddo how he was doing without dad here and he said OK with a BIG smile. He is excited to see him Thurs and Sat this week which we decided would be the days he sees his son. He does have a breathalizer in his car and can't really drive for recreation, so I think the kid will be fine with him these days. If I get wind of him drinking while watching him, then the visits will go from over night to just a few hours. He has watched our son for most of his life and is usually pretty good during the day. I just worry about the nights.
I am doing good though. I have had a fleeting thought here or there of 'us' but know that was some dream that never materialized. There really never was an 'us'. I do get a little sad thinking about how I allowed myself to be used and treated as less than for too many years. But, that too will pass.
I am doing good though. I have had a fleeting thought here or there of 'us' but know that was some dream that never materialized. There really never was an 'us'. I do get a little sad thinking about how I allowed myself to be used and treated as less than for too many years. But, that too will pass.
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