Foolishness
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 120
Foolishness
My Lord, AH only works TWO days a week now and can't get up on time for his second day of his "work week".
He's got molasses in his a**, and I'm ready for him to leave for the day. This is the only day I have the house to myself, because I work M-F.
Just had to vent for a minute.
He's got molasses in his a**, and I'm ready for him to leave for the day. This is the only day I have the house to myself, because I work M-F.
Just had to vent for a minute.
Dear Beach.....Am I hearing you say: "This partnership does not have the equity that I would like." ....?
"It feels unequal to me, and I feel like I am getting the short end of the stick, in this regard".
If I am warm about this.....may I ask--have the two of you discussed your feelings about this and the impact that this is having on your feelings about the marriage? How does he feel about all of this?
dandylion
"It feels unequal to me, and I feel like I am getting the short end of the stick, in this regard".
If I am warm about this.....may I ask--have the two of you discussed your feelings about this and the impact that this is having on your feelings about the marriage? How does he feel about all of this?
dandylion
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 120
Dear Beach.....Am I hearing you say: "This partnership does not have the equity that I would like." ....?
"It feels unequal to me, and I feel like I am getting the short end of the stick, in this regard".
If I am warm about this.....may I ask--have the two of you discussed your feelings about this and the impact that this is having on your feelings about the marriage? How does he feel about all of this?
dandylion
"It feels unequal to me, and I feel like I am getting the short end of the stick, in this regard".
If I am warm about this.....may I ask--have the two of you discussed your feelings about this and the impact that this is having on your feelings about the marriage? How does he feel about all of this?
dandylion
Beach...Gotchya! You are, mentally, much farther along than I realized.
I think that once one has made a decision and is headed toward the door...the daily irritations that we once were able to overlook....become even more irritating than ever before!!
dandylion
I think that once one has made a decision and is headed toward the door...the daily irritations that we once were able to overlook....become even more irritating than ever before!!
dandylion
Hopefully you're in t
The homestretch to get away from his drunk lazy @SS very soon. You seem to talk about how the bills are piling up and he only works 2 days a week - don't you think your bills would be lowered without him around to support? Do you own a house or rent? How many debts have both your names on them? Do you have children together? Just trying to see the full picture. You may be surprised at how your bill load (AND stress / resentment) is lessened without him around draining the finances and emotions. Sounds like he knows that, too (in his pity-party he threw for himself). What keeps you from agreeing with him?
The homestretch to get away from his drunk lazy @SS very soon. You seem to talk about how the bills are piling up and he only works 2 days a week - don't you think your bills would be lowered without him around to support? Do you own a house or rent? How many debts have both your names on them? Do you have children together? Just trying to see the full picture. You may be surprised at how your bill load (AND stress / resentment) is lessened without him around draining the finances and emotions. Sounds like he knows that, too (in his pity-party he threw for himself). What keeps you from agreeing with him?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 120
Hopefully you're in t
The homestretch to get away from his drunk lazy @SS very soon. You seem to talk about how the bills are piling up and he only works 2 days a week - don't you think your bills would be lowered without him around to support? Do you own a house or rent? How many debts have both your names on them? Do you have children together? Just trying to see the full picture. You may be surprised at how your bill load (AND stress / resentment) is lessened without him around draining the finances and emotions. Sounds like he knows that, too (in his pity-party he threw for himself). What keeps you from agreeing with him?
The homestretch to get away from his drunk lazy @SS very soon. You seem to talk about how the bills are piling up and he only works 2 days a week - don't you think your bills would be lowered without him around to support? Do you own a house or rent? How many debts have both your names on them? Do you have children together? Just trying to see the full picture. You may be surprised at how your bill load (AND stress / resentment) is lessened without him around draining the finances and emotions. Sounds like he knows that, too (in his pity-party he threw for himself). What keeps you from agreeing with him?
Pity and guilt kept me around longer than I should have stayed. He doesn't ask me what's wrong. He knows what's wrong and I think he's just happy each day I don't fuss about money. I feel like he is a dependent, which kills any attraction toward him. I've discussed depression with him, asked him to go to AA, all that. He said he'd go to a meeting. Nope. He says whatever to shut me up when I get to talking about real life. It has become insulting now.
All I'm doing is trying to save money and looking for an apartment that will accept me and my now bad credit score.
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 384
Pity and guilt kept me around longer than I should have stayed. He doesn't ask me what's wrong. He knows what's wrong and I think he's just happy each day I don't fuss about money. I feel like he is a dependent, which kills any attraction toward him. I've discussed depression with him, asked him to go to AA, all that. He said he'd go to a meeting. Nope. He says whatever to shut me up when I get to talking about real life. It has become insulting now.
It works at first, them saying what they think you want to hear... but then we get smart to it when we realize the actions don't match the words. I understand how you feel about it feeling insulting... its certainly crazy making.
When I finally got to the point of acceptance that the alcoholic wasn't going to change, Alanon taught me that if I want a different life I had to change, first my attitudes then my words and actions. Turns out the problem wasn't the alcoholic, it was me. I picked him and stayed much too long.
Thanks for the reply, BP. Sounds like your pity and guilt has finally turned the corner into seeing him as pathetic and having resentment. Good to be having your exit strategy going like you are. What a drain on you.
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