When does it start to get better?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 196
When does it start to get better?
The divorce is set for the end of this month, on my birthday.
Our would-have-been wedding anniversary is next week.
I had a biopsy come back abnormal this week.
I just spoke to STBXAH about some financial matters and he says, "too bad we couldn't make a go of this marriage, we'd be really doing well financially."
I slept for 3 hours last night, which is less than normal lately but not significantly less. I am mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted.
I just need a freaking break!!!! I need the bad news to stop!!!! I want to stop being sad!!!! I want to get a good, restful night's sleep!!!!!!
When does it get better????
Our would-have-been wedding anniversary is next week.
I had a biopsy come back abnormal this week.
I just spoke to STBXAH about some financial matters and he says, "too bad we couldn't make a go of this marriage, we'd be really doing well financially."
I slept for 3 hours last night, which is less than normal lately but not significantly less. I am mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted.
I just need a freaking break!!!! I need the bad news to stop!!!! I want to stop being sad!!!! I want to get a good, restful night's sleep!!!!!!
When does it get better????
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 394
I have not been through a divorce, but witnessed my parents and almost had one myself. Without knowing the reasons for your divorce, there must be a good reason that it got that far and that it's going through.
I feel your pain in your writing. Follow up on your medical results and focus on yourself. I've had some cancer scares ( skin) and had to have malignant cells removed from multiple places on my body.
I always feel the more pain we endure and experience the more we spring back stronger. You will come out of this. And you will feel better. It will pass. If you need someone to talk to feel free to pm me. Remember to breathe and take care of yourself and your most important priorities. Remind yourself why you are going through this. Be strong
hugs
I feel your pain in your writing. Follow up on your medical results and focus on yourself. I've had some cancer scares ( skin) and had to have malignant cells removed from multiple places on my body.
I always feel the more pain we endure and experience the more we spring back stronger. You will come out of this. And you will feel better. It will pass. If you need someone to talk to feel free to pm me. Remember to breathe and take care of yourself and your most important priorities. Remind yourself why you are going through this. Be strong
hugs
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 163
I am just starting the divorce process from the soon to be EXAW. Been separated for over 3 weeks and already much better for me. Life is so much more peaceful now. I don't like the divorce process but I am sure looking forward to the end result.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
TFM,
I would not wish a divorce on anyone, but it was the best thing I ever did. After 34 years together with AXH, the lies, the cheating, the drinking and drugs, the disrespect, the fights and all the other Bull Shxt they put you through, my life is just like a normal persons is. The first night alone in my new place felt like 10 thousand pounds of weight lifted off my shoulders. I was done with living in Hxll!!
Be patient!! It will happen my friend!!
I would not wish a divorce on anyone, but it was the best thing I ever did. After 34 years together with AXH, the lies, the cheating, the drinking and drugs, the disrespect, the fights and all the other Bull Shxt they put you through, my life is just like a normal persons is. The first night alone in my new place felt like 10 thousand pounds of weight lifted off my shoulders. I was done with living in Hxll!!
Be patient!! It will happen my friend!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
TFM, I'm sorry things seem to be piling up just now. I know it must feel very unfair.
My only -- admittedly, very unsatisfying -- answer is that it starts to get better when it starts to get better. Accepting things as the are is the only thing that eases the frustration at how long it takes for things to improve. Sending you strength and patience during this difficult time.
Your health needs to be a priority right now so I hope you are taking enough time for self-care and rest.
My only -- admittedly, very unsatisfying -- answer is that it starts to get better when it starts to get better. Accepting things as the are is the only thing that eases the frustration at how long it takes for things to improve. Sending you strength and patience during this difficult time.
Your health needs to be a priority right now so I hope you are taking enough time for self-care and rest.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
TFM, don't know if you've seen this thread, but I've posted the link for many people who are waiting for "the good stuff" to start:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ain-stops.html
Hope you find it helpful. I definitely have.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ain-stops.html
Hope you find it helpful. I definitely have.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 120
So often it feels like one step forward, two steps back. I don't know when it gets better. I just wanted to send some encouragement your way.
I hope you take enough time for yourself to rest and take care. Stress already affects us in so many negative ways.
I hope you take enough time for yourself to rest and take care. Stress already affects us in so many negative ways.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Yeah, thinking of you this week. Please be good to yourself, you've EARNED it!
Vetiver oil (DoTerra) - a couple dabs on the bottoms of my big toes before I lay down at night has helped my sleep immensely. I don't love the hippie voo - doo cures, but it worked for me.
Sending you tons and tons of peace.
Vetiver oil (DoTerra) - a couple dabs on the bottoms of my big toes before I lay down at night has helped my sleep immensely. I don't love the hippie voo - doo cures, but it worked for me.
Sending you tons and tons of peace.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 196
Thanks, everyone. Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary. This will be the first one we are not celebrating together. I still have not regretted leaving, even for a half a second.
Lack of sleep is really screwing with my outlook and my emotions.
I just got back from the therapist. I got some good insight from her. My anxiety is really cranked up today.
Honeypig, thanks for the link to that post.
It just feels like I am stuck (it's my own doing, I know) until this divorce is finalized. Two more weeks...
Lack of sleep is really screwing with my outlook and my emotions.
I just got back from the therapist. I got some good insight from her. My anxiety is really cranked up today.
Honeypig, thanks for the link to that post.
It just feels like I am stuck (it's my own doing, I know) until this divorce is finalized. Two more weeks...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
I hope you can get yourself in for a massage, or a soak at a spa, or something really, really nice for yourself today. Some relaxation might help with the sleep issue too! Hang in there - 2 weeks is the blink of an eye. (((HUGS)))
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: northern california
Posts: 740
TFM lack of sleep is the worst when we are going through tough times and you have a lot on your plate. I am coming up on 11 months of divorce mediation and still living with wife, what I do is get exercise everyday I try not to over eat and eat healthy and stay connected to recovery the support I get is essential. I hope you are getting plenty of support, good luck.
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