CentralOhioDad

When/if it gets to this point in my marriage, I'm sure I'll have all sorts of dissension from outsiders - AW puts on a wonderful facade of being perfectly innocent of doing anything outside the norm. That is, until we're home and the wine bottles open.

Even those times when she was out, the booze always waited until we were home to kick her behind. A few times when we had parties at home, she overdid, and it was obvious, but the guests chalked it up to "Stress of throwing a party". I don't encourage having dinner guests anymore - I prefer to have people over from lunch/brunch.

So yes, in my case it's going to be hard to sell it, if I even decide to justify the whats and whys.

NYCDoglvr

Sounds like you've proved to yourself it's illogical to stay. No matter what you do, even if you need his help, he can't stop drinking.

firebolt

Yeah I'm kind of in the middle - my family somewhat understood me wanting to leave. They were all supportive and want me to be happy.

My friends - some understood, some didnt. Honestly, the ones that didn't drank A LOT, or were still with someone that drinks A LOT.

Since I've been working on recovery, and I am pretty open about it when it comes up in conversation, I have met a handfull more people that are also working on themselves...and they totally get it!

manicpanic156

I came to this conclusion today actually. Excellent post. I gave AH every chance in the world for a comfy, all expenses paid no harm no foul rehab experience and he turned it down time after time. We could've repaired our family and moved forward towards a healthy life. He said NO. Loads of excuses. For my own sanity and safety and for the emotional health of my family I asked him to leave.

What he does beyond this point is ALL on him. He has choices. My kids, who have suffered enough at the hands of him, DO NOT. Nor did I. I never got the choice to save my family like he had....