lostangel011

Thank you for sharing that story.

I promise you I will not hurt myself. It may have seemed easier for a brief second but I know better than to act. I'm a fighter. Fought through a lot in life. If my addiction and ED did not kill me and allow me to take myself out this definately won't. He's not worth it. Not going to break the hearts of those that truely love me and I know once I make my wayto the other side (and someday I will I'm just not there yet) all this will have just made me better and stronger. It's just now I'm hurting but I will call for help before I ever even try to kill myself. I promise. It was just me sharing how I felt in a moment because it's that sad... I'm too strong.

amy55

Thanks, I know that. I know you are strong. I just had to say that I felt those moments also. It's things like this, that let me know that you are a survivor, and that you are strong, and that you will get through this.

With you all the way.

(((((hugs)))))
amy

amy55

Sometimes I fell into the black hole of abyss. It was this is my life, and this is all it's going to be. I remember writing in my journal once, that I reached the state of depression.

Now the abyss, was not something I could do something about. Depression I could do something about.

I was actually happy that I was depressed, because that was something I could work on, and I did.

The abyss, you just keep sinking and sinking.

I believe you are coming out of the abyss, you're awakening. You are identifying your feelings.

amy

amy55

I'd like to hear your thoughts on that. I was so far in the abyss. I couldn't believe that I wrote in my journal that I advanced to depression. Now let me see what I can do about that. How can anyone advance to just a state of depression?

Thing is, we can do things to change that.

I think sometimes I enliken the abyss to the total bottom. We want to get back up, but we can't. We keep trying though. Then we start to talk to people, and we realize that there is so much better out there. We go into a depression, well this isn't my life, what can I do to make my life better? Thing is, it can be your life, it's only what we make of our own lives.

I really care about you,

(((((hugs)))))
amy

Bekindalways

Hang tough lostangel. I hope you are finding some separation and maybe an alanon meeting. Keep posting.