CloudsAndRain

Thanks honeypig, my friend told me the same thing last night to mail them. He said the man wants to see me upset. He wants to know im hurting and not to give him the satisfaction. What hurts the MOST about this situation is that he can move on so seamlessly without a care denying the illness I got came from him. I know it did. Guess he's going to move on and hurt more people and keep denying too in the process..

honeypig

And that is what active alcoholics do. It may sound ridiculous to say, but try not to take it personally. He is just doing what they do. Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly. Not that you won't feel pain--of course you will. But, as some wise folks told me early in my own recovery, "he's not drinking AT you. He's just drinking. It's what A's do."

Again, I would encourage you to read around the forum as much as you possibly can. Is there an Alanon meeting in your neck of the woods tonight? Get thee hence if there is!

CloudsAndRain

Thanks again honeypig.. And that's why i am on here to verify with you guys on this site if this is normal alcoholic behavior or if it's behavior because I am not good enough for him or something. He will hurt this woman or the next with his alcoholism and the illness he clearly thrust upon me that I have to live w for the rest of my life and will always remember him even if I forget him, everytime I have to take that medicine. I wont go into detail w that bc it is personal, but I am sure you guys have an idea of what I mean. Just letting ya's know so I can get the best support possible as I am annonymous. You've been very helpful. I will def look into al anon, I think his rehab offers them too. I have been there w him many times. And thank god for this site.

LexieCat

My suggestion is that you go to a meeting someplace other than at the rehab he attended. Seriously. They are likely to be full of people whose partners are there getting better (hopefully) and it will only make you feels worse. Al-Anon meetings are everywhere--no need to go to one that will bring back painful memories or longings.

As for his stuff, I'd sort through it, as was suggested here, and personal stuff of his goes back to him, but if you try to return every item that ever came from him, it will look more like you're making a passive-aggressive point than simply returning stuff he might want.

CloudsAndRain

Thanks Lexie your right. I should only give him back his really personal stuff and maybe the stuff that has his surname on it.. The other stuff that were gifts, I will keep. I want to forget him, but he did mean something to me at some point and I want to always have a little piece of him in my heart. i wont ever forget him. He does bring up passive aggressive a lot so that does make sense, thank you for the tip!