How do you afford it??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 276
How do you afford it??
Rent, cell phone, insurance, food, gas, etc etc....
I was out of the workforce a long time and don't earn as much.
Kids are getting older, won't get support much longer
How do you do it? I am really worried.....
I was out of the workforce a long time and don't earn as much.
Kids are getting older, won't get support much longer
How do you do it? I am really worried.....
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi Flavia, there are a lot of websites out there which help you with budgeting and making the most of your income. Google 'frugal living'. Some basic moves are eating out less, give up cable, take your lunch rather than buy, get into the habit of energy saving.
Drawing up a budget which show where the money goes is a great first step. Record everything. Then you can see what can be cut back (discretionary spending). Also investigate whether there are any state or federal schemes for those on low income. A great resource is the Salvation Army - they can help with budgeting and financial counselling and are familiar with resources out there.
I don't know what your relationship with your children is like, but if you can make them aware of the money situation and ask for their help and ideas it can turn a big minus into a plus for family life. Share the details of the budget with them, set some family goals and see what they can contribute. They may be able to earn a little outside the home, or find some income generating ideas for the weekend.
I've just come through two years out of work and I know you can make economies you would never have thought of before and still live a good life.
Drawing up a budget which show where the money goes is a great first step. Record everything. Then you can see what can be cut back (discretionary spending). Also investigate whether there are any state or federal schemes for those on low income. A great resource is the Salvation Army - they can help with budgeting and financial counselling and are familiar with resources out there.
I don't know what your relationship with your children is like, but if you can make them aware of the money situation and ask for their help and ideas it can turn a big minus into a plus for family life. Share the details of the budget with them, set some family goals and see what they can contribute. They may be able to earn a little outside the home, or find some income generating ideas for the weekend.
I've just come through two years out of work and I know you can make economies you would never have thought of before and still live a good life.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
It appears to me you are speaking about the future when you lose child support?
What's your timeline?
Its very simplistic, you either lower your cost of living, make more money, or both. Recently there have been several threads concerning budgeting and cutting costs. I'd say you need to look at your hard expenditures (those that don't change) such as rent, car payments, utilities, insurance, etc. vs. income now. and your mutable expenses such as credit cards, food, entertainment, clothing etc. on separate lists. When you lose the child support where will that leave you? There is much that can be done with mutable expenditures in cutting costs that could equate to savings of several hundred dollars a month (food is a very big expenditure and very easy to cut costs).
Hard expenditures can be cut it just takes a different path, cars can be refinanced or traded in for less expensive, shop your insurance (should do this yearly), get on budget billing for utilities, cut your cable services to minimum or switch provider, same with cell phone shop your plans - go to low cost service and don't get looped into upgrading phone every two years .
Your issue may be your rent cost and that's something you can only change by moving. Its good that you are asking now as opposed to asking after the fact. I would say that you need to look at your employment path and see how you can increase your income as well. Perhaps now while you are getting support is the time to get further education, licensing, or achieve another skill which will make you more marketable; therefore, increase your income.
IMO its usual the small costs that get folks into trouble with budget rather than the large expenses. $5, $10, and $20. Most people don't pay attention to small purchases - but it adds up. Such as $5 coffee at Starbucks 5 days a week is $1200 a year. A $10 lunch out 5 days a week is $2400 a year. Just those two things (which are so common) is $3600 a year!
When I opened my business 3 years ago I did all of that. the biggest savings was food. Now I do digital coupons, shop at a more economical store, eat leftover, meal plan etc. its cut our food bill by $500 a month. Thats $6k a year. I shopped insurance and lowered combined bills by about $100 a month ($1200), dropped the top of the line cable and lowered that bill $100 a month( $1200), Cellphone plan changed and dropped $50 ($600). Limited eating out lunch ($1500). Just those things amount to $10,500k saved.
What's your timeline?
Its very simplistic, you either lower your cost of living, make more money, or both. Recently there have been several threads concerning budgeting and cutting costs. I'd say you need to look at your hard expenditures (those that don't change) such as rent, car payments, utilities, insurance, etc. vs. income now. and your mutable expenses such as credit cards, food, entertainment, clothing etc. on separate lists. When you lose the child support where will that leave you? There is much that can be done with mutable expenditures in cutting costs that could equate to savings of several hundred dollars a month (food is a very big expenditure and very easy to cut costs).
Hard expenditures can be cut it just takes a different path, cars can be refinanced or traded in for less expensive, shop your insurance (should do this yearly), get on budget billing for utilities, cut your cable services to minimum or switch provider, same with cell phone shop your plans - go to low cost service and don't get looped into upgrading phone every two years .
Your issue may be your rent cost and that's something you can only change by moving. Its good that you are asking now as opposed to asking after the fact. I would say that you need to look at your employment path and see how you can increase your income as well. Perhaps now while you are getting support is the time to get further education, licensing, or achieve another skill which will make you more marketable; therefore, increase your income.
IMO its usual the small costs that get folks into trouble with budget rather than the large expenses. $5, $10, and $20. Most people don't pay attention to small purchases - but it adds up. Such as $5 coffee at Starbucks 5 days a week is $1200 a year. A $10 lunch out 5 days a week is $2400 a year. Just those two things (which are so common) is $3600 a year!
When I opened my business 3 years ago I did all of that. the biggest savings was food. Now I do digital coupons, shop at a more economical store, eat leftover, meal plan etc. its cut our food bill by $500 a month. Thats $6k a year. I shopped insurance and lowered combined bills by about $100 a month ($1200), dropped the top of the line cable and lowered that bill $100 a month( $1200), Cellphone plan changed and dropped $50 ($600). Limited eating out lunch ($1500). Just those things amount to $10,500k saved.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
flavia....I will also mention that in most every community, there are food banks....
Some people do couponing to the point of reducing food costs to almost nothing....
Depending on your income..you may qualify for food stamps....and other government financial aid....
dandylion
Some people do couponing to the point of reducing food costs to almost nothing....
Depending on your income..you may qualify for food stamps....and other government financial aid....
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,427
Red made excellent suggestions.
In particular, driving a nice old sedan has saved me bundles
as I paid in cash (1750) and so have no payments and low insurance.
I've got all credit card debt either paid off or at zero interest and I'm
paying it off ASAP with any extra money per month.
I keep food at my desk at work such as canned fish, crackers, health bars,
dried fruit, etc. and bring in lettuce etc. and make healthy lunches for cheap.
I also brew my own coffee at work (cone drip filter) and tea so I never pay for
coffee house coffee at those crazy prices.
I eat out sometimes, but not often, and always lunch not dinner.
I don't go to movies but wait for DVD release if I want to see things.
I buy clothing at least 70% off with a discount coupon on top of that (Kohls)
or at the local goodwill, where I often get very expensive clothing with the
price tag still on it or so gently worn it might as well be new.
Food-wise, I eat whole food and go to the local farmer's market weekly.
I wish we had a Costco, but don't, but our local Sam's club is where I buy
some organic produce, meat, laundry soap, and frozen seafood.
I buy lots of nice staples including bulk herbal teas off Amazon's subscribe and save program
(pasta, spices, some canned goods) so I have really quality
food and plenty of it. Leftovers are "repurposed" as lunch or a new dish.
I do have a small garden for expensive but yummy things
like organic lettuce, tomatoes, string beans, and herbs in the summer.
Containers work well for tomatoes, herbs and lettuce, by the way.
This winter I dug up some herbs and they did just fine overwintering
in front of my patio door. I will replant this sping but had fresh oregano all winter.
I save thousands each year and I feel I live well, without feeling like I'm broke.
I'm implementing the following zero budget idea for a few months to try it as I'm
sort of doing it now anyway, to get me thinking about where each dollar goes more carefully:
https://www.daveramsey.com/blog/how-...o-based-budget
The other thing I'm doing is decluttering, cleaning, and trying to make the home
I live in beautiful and peaceful. I've had junk in my house since my mom died
and I cleaned out her house, and put her junk with mine.
I never finished building the house in part because of this.
(Husband and I built together on our own but not totally finished)
This is huge priority for me and I'm finding what I think I need and what
I actually need are very different animals.
This whole process of saving money and simplifying has turned more into a blessing than I imagined.
Try and reframe the need to save as a positive instead of "not having" and I
bet you'll find the same
In particular, driving a nice old sedan has saved me bundles
as I paid in cash (1750) and so have no payments and low insurance.
I've got all credit card debt either paid off or at zero interest and I'm
paying it off ASAP with any extra money per month.
I keep food at my desk at work such as canned fish, crackers, health bars,
dried fruit, etc. and bring in lettuce etc. and make healthy lunches for cheap.
I also brew my own coffee at work (cone drip filter) and tea so I never pay for
coffee house coffee at those crazy prices.
I eat out sometimes, but not often, and always lunch not dinner.
I don't go to movies but wait for DVD release if I want to see things.
I buy clothing at least 70% off with a discount coupon on top of that (Kohls)
or at the local goodwill, where I often get very expensive clothing with the
price tag still on it or so gently worn it might as well be new.
Food-wise, I eat whole food and go to the local farmer's market weekly.
I wish we had a Costco, but don't, but our local Sam's club is where I buy
some organic produce, meat, laundry soap, and frozen seafood.
I buy lots of nice staples including bulk herbal teas off Amazon's subscribe and save program
(pasta, spices, some canned goods) so I have really quality
food and plenty of it. Leftovers are "repurposed" as lunch or a new dish.
I do have a small garden for expensive but yummy things
like organic lettuce, tomatoes, string beans, and herbs in the summer.
Containers work well for tomatoes, herbs and lettuce, by the way.
This winter I dug up some herbs and they did just fine overwintering
in front of my patio door. I will replant this sping but had fresh oregano all winter.
I save thousands each year and I feel I live well, without feeling like I'm broke.
I'm implementing the following zero budget idea for a few months to try it as I'm
sort of doing it now anyway, to get me thinking about where each dollar goes more carefully:
https://www.daveramsey.com/blog/how-...o-based-budget
The other thing I'm doing is decluttering, cleaning, and trying to make the home
I live in beautiful and peaceful. I've had junk in my house since my mom died
and I cleaned out her house, and put her junk with mine.
I never finished building the house in part because of this.
(Husband and I built together on our own but not totally finished)
This is huge priority for me and I'm finding what I think I need and what
I actually need are very different animals.
This whole process of saving money and simplifying has turned more into a blessing than I imagined.
Try and reframe the need to save as a positive instead of "not having" and I
bet you'll find the same
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Lots and lots of good advice here. The 2 things I might add are these:
1) Every little bit counts. Really. An example: My cell phone service is $25 a month for unlimited phone/text. It's another $10 a month if I want internet access. Recently I asked my sister, who has the same plan but pays the extra internet charge, what she actually used it for, b/c I was considering whether I should get it too. She had to think for a minute, then said "well, I can use it to look stuff up when I'm sitting at the kitchen table--and you know, it's only $10 a month...". That is a difference between the 2 of us--she is like "well, it's only 10 bucks" and I'm like "but that is half again as much more, and you don't even know what you use it for, so why pay it?" She has always made more $$ than me, and her attitude is different than mine about expenses. That $120 a year will pay for a few weeks of grocery shopping, so it's NOT insignificant!
2) It might seem old-fashioned, but I swear by a budget book. Going thru the various expenditures at the end of each month really helps me see where my money is going. Maybe you can find something online that will work better for you, but for me, the fact of sitting down at my kitchen table w/a calculator and pen and post-its makes it real and detailed. It has also taught me that, while I might think of any given "unusual" expense in a month, i.e., major car repair, as something that won't happen every month, I will still have something like that happen more months than not, and I have to accept that I need to build that into my budget too. If not the car, then a dog vet trip, computer meltdown, heater repair, lawn mower replacement, or some damn thing....
I used to handle the household finances, somewhere along the line let XAH take over, and now am getting in touch w/it myself again. Eye-opening.
Here's a 3rd thing that I don't think has been mentioned specifically: Buy stuff on sale and stash. Canned diced tomatoes were 10 for $10, rather than $1.89 each. I bought 10, b/c they will keep and that's almost half price. I am lucky enough to have a chest freezer downstairs. When salmon is on sale for 8.99, I have the fish department guy cut it up into 1-lb packages and I freeze several pounds of it. Dry goods like rice and beans can be stashed too if the sale is good; just make sure they are tightly sealed (maybe in a ziploc in addition to the store wrapping) so you don't get bugs in them.
1) Every little bit counts. Really. An example: My cell phone service is $25 a month for unlimited phone/text. It's another $10 a month if I want internet access. Recently I asked my sister, who has the same plan but pays the extra internet charge, what she actually used it for, b/c I was considering whether I should get it too. She had to think for a minute, then said "well, I can use it to look stuff up when I'm sitting at the kitchen table--and you know, it's only $10 a month...". That is a difference between the 2 of us--she is like "well, it's only 10 bucks" and I'm like "but that is half again as much more, and you don't even know what you use it for, so why pay it?" She has always made more $$ than me, and her attitude is different than mine about expenses. That $120 a year will pay for a few weeks of grocery shopping, so it's NOT insignificant!
2) It might seem old-fashioned, but I swear by a budget book. Going thru the various expenditures at the end of each month really helps me see where my money is going. Maybe you can find something online that will work better for you, but for me, the fact of sitting down at my kitchen table w/a calculator and pen and post-its makes it real and detailed. It has also taught me that, while I might think of any given "unusual" expense in a month, i.e., major car repair, as something that won't happen every month, I will still have something like that happen more months than not, and I have to accept that I need to build that into my budget too. If not the car, then a dog vet trip, computer meltdown, heater repair, lawn mower replacement, or some damn thing....
I used to handle the household finances, somewhere along the line let XAH take over, and now am getting in touch w/it myself again. Eye-opening.
Here's a 3rd thing that I don't think has been mentioned specifically: Buy stuff on sale and stash. Canned diced tomatoes were 10 for $10, rather than $1.89 each. I bought 10, b/c they will keep and that's almost half price. I am lucky enough to have a chest freezer downstairs. When salmon is on sale for 8.99, I have the fish department guy cut it up into 1-lb packages and I freeze several pounds of it. Dry goods like rice and beans can be stashed too if the sale is good; just make sure they are tightly sealed (maybe in a ziploc in addition to the store wrapping) so you don't get bugs in them.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 276
These are great suggestions
And I really need to get on top of things. Biggest issue is the commute to work, which can be addressed after kids are gone. Or I could look for a job closer, just not looking forward to the search.
Budget book sounds like something that would work for me HP, I'll google that!
Cell phone is out of hand, for sure. Never should have switched to phone that needs data plan.
Budget book sounds like something that would work for me HP, I'll google that!
Cell phone is out of hand, for sure. Never should have switched to phone that needs data plan.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 187
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 
I'm implementing the following zero budget idea for a few months to try it as I'm
sort of doing it now anyway, to get me thinking about where each dollar goes more carefully:
https://www.daveramsey.com/blog/how-...o-based-budget
sort of doing it now anyway, to get me thinking about where each dollar goes more carefully:
https://www.daveramsey.com/blog/how-...o-based-budget
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Originally Posted by Flavia2
And I really need to get on top of things. Biggest issue is the commute to work, which can be addressed after kids are gone. Or I could look for a job closer, just not looking forward to the search.
Budget book sounds like something that would work for me HP, I'll google that!
Cell phone is out of hand, for sure. Never should have switched to phone that needs data plan.
Budget book sounds like something that would work for me HP, I'll google that!
Cell phone is out of hand, for sure. Never should have switched to phone that needs data plan.
But, with that said: I am so blessed because I just found a new job that is 9 miles from my house instead of the 32 mile commute I was making. The job just fell into my lap from a text message from a friend who knew (a year ago) that I might be looking. She just texted me and said, "Hey are you still looking for a job?" Umm, yes!!! Anyway, I will save $100 a month in gas alone. That savings is going to be paying for my increase in insurance for adding my son to my policy since he is now driving, but I am also getting 1.5 hrs of my day back in commute time.
I can use that time to get a second job, go to the gym, get to more Al Anon meetings, etc. Or maybe even sleep in every once in a while, lol.
Anyway, I wasn't really focusing on the job search and this job just came about. So, my point is that you never know what is out there for you or what will come about that completely changes the path you are on. Hugs to you. You got some really great advice and I wish you well on your journey!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Lizatola, that is a good point. This ^^ happened for me too and is really helping my situation. I'd been working at a job I loved but that had absolutely NO benefits. I started looking for a better job when XAH's alcohol issues had come to light, feeling that no matter how things turned out, I wanted my own health insurance, etc.
After 2+ years of applications and virtually NO callbacks (I am not young and I have never had a real "career", just various jobs), literally days before the final incident where I converted our separation to a divorce, all that job searching paid off. I got an offer for a job that paid a buck and a half more an hour than what I was making PLUS it had good insurance and great time off benefits. It wouldn't make me rich, but it would be enough for me to get by if I was careful.
In all honesty, I can't say I like the new job even a fraction as much as my old one, but during this time of getting back on my own 2 feet, it is truly a godsend in terms of pay and benefits. If you start your search now, and/or if you are able to get some training that will make you more employable, your chances of being in a better place once you don't have the support payments any more will be even greater.
After 2+ years of applications and virtually NO callbacks (I am not young and I have never had a real "career", just various jobs), literally days before the final incident where I converted our separation to a divorce, all that job searching paid off. I got an offer for a job that paid a buck and a half more an hour than what I was making PLUS it had good insurance and great time off benefits. It wouldn't make me rich, but it would be enough for me to get by if I was careful.
In all honesty, I can't say I like the new job even a fraction as much as my old one, but during this time of getting back on my own 2 feet, it is truly a godsend in terms of pay and benefits. If you start your search now, and/or if you are able to get some training that will make you more employable, your chances of being in a better place once you don't have the support payments any more will be even greater.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 256
As for a cell phone I have used tracfone for...EVER. Love it. Last yr upgraded to one of their smart phones- you can buy data,text, minutes as you need it. A phone with a case cost my $40. Once I added some data,text,minutes I only pay $7/mth to keep the phone active and just purchase the data,text, minutes as I need them. My accountant is always shocked at my cell phone bill (as it is a write off.) I use my phone mostly for data and make a point of using wifi when I can.
Also check into local community organizations. There are lots of services that no one ever considers. I just discovered EmPower NY where they will come and do some energy efficient upgrades as I qualify based on income. Our local phone company offers a deal for those on low income as well. And a free lifeline cell phone for those that qualify.
Do the research while you still have the child support so as soon as it stops, or close to it, you can apply for things.
Also check into local community organizations. There are lots of services that no one ever considers. I just discovered EmPower NY where they will come and do some energy efficient upgrades as I qualify based on income. Our local phone company offers a deal for those on low income as well. And a free lifeline cell phone for those that qualify.
Do the research while you still have the child support so as soon as it stops, or close to it, you can apply for things.
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