DefofLov

Some time ago I posted about my father and about how I was going to meet him and everything...

So I did, turns out he likes to drink. Go figure. I am 19 years old and he is just now coming back into my life. Initially, I gave him a chance. I went to go meet him with open heart and mind. It was all good until I met him. He is a self loathing, woe is me type of person.

He drinks and he then mistreats his wife...for what reason I dont know. He also said some dumb things to me when he was drunk. So, after I met him I made my decision...I do not want him in my life. Especially since he called me with his drama recently, telling me about how he isn't going to touch another beer...blah blah and BLAH. I went through the alcohol thing with my mother and I will not be sucked into his mess. I will just end up getting flushed down the toilet! :Flush: and that is not where I want to go.

*hmph*

So, I have not talked to him since his 'declaration'...he sent me this pathetic e-mail the other day saying "Well, after all these years you met your father and I guess you weren't impressed. I guess you are busy or something. I am on my ninth day of sobriety. Love Dad."

I did not reply, and I will not. Because it sounds like to me. I am just going to keep right on taking care of myself and growing.

Just wanted to share my experience,

~Def

Petunia

Def,

I wish you luck. I'm going through something very similar with my F. I am grieving the fact that I don't have a real F and the one I do have will never be what I wish he would. No matter how hard I cry or wish, he is who he is and I have to decide just where he fits into my life. I met my counselor yesterday to talk about this and she had some ideas on what might help get me to tell both my M and F that what they have is not something I want in my life.

There is grief in my life b/c of this and there will probably be some more before it's over. But what I do know is that I don't have to be subjected to his junk ... I don't have to react to his craziness. And that I am worth the effort to get and stay healthy. You are worth it too.

I wish you peace today - one day at a time,

Petunia

Gabe

Good for you Def. No sense leaving one drama and getting caught right back up in another one.
Hugs,
Gabe

cwohio

hey def - you do what you need to do to keep your recovery and sanity. it's a shame that we sometimes have to detach physically.

hugs and support - cwohio

LovingMom

I know you were looking so forward to connecting with your daddy. But you know what? He can't or won't be there for you in the capacity that you were hoping he would. And that's okay. You are a strong woman, and while the little girl inside you is going to have to grieve for that "perfect image" of a dad...The adult in you sees and reasons that he has his own issues....and you can't and DON'T HAVE to be a part of it. Way to go sweetie. Keep taking care of yourself.