Wheresmyunicorn

My instincts kicked in the other day without my even thinking, and after reviewing the exchange later, I had a massive "Aha!" moment. This pretty much sums up my codie personality - and that AH knows exactly where I stand (or at least used to)

We were having an ok afternoon, nothing much just a busy Sunday as usual. Anyway, he was apparently frustrated at so much stuff being much more complicated than he'd anticipated (stuff with his family btw, nothing at all to do with me). I'd come home about an hour earlier and mentioned that the car had shuddered a bit at a light, and we might need to check the oil and add more (our car is old and is going through it much faster these days). I also had an issue where it took me several minutes to get online, and I mentioned it while I was checking the settings - I got it working after a few adjustments.

A little while later, he walked in the kitchen and asked me if something "really happened with the car" earlier. WTH? I asked why he would even ask that - he responded it just seemed like I didn't want him to be "done" with anything today. After a few seconds of back and forth, I said "why would I make up something so stupid!?" His response: "I'm not mad" in an it's ok honey don't worry voice. Thankfully, on instinct, my response was "So? The fact that you asked that question pissed me off - I am mad." Then I turned away and continued what I was doing.

He apparently realized long before I that my MO is that as long as no one is upset with me, anything that is said/happens is okie-dokie. I've spent so many years just appeasing those around me to avoid conflict, it's second nature. I am so happy to finally be recognizing this and even without realizing it consciously, changing my behavior in small ways.

You guys here at SR have definitely helped with your posts and responses to my posts. So,