In need of advise - alcoholic mum
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 4
In need of advise - alcoholic mum
Hi, I am in desperate need of advise and just some answers on what to do as I just don't know.
My mum has drank probably around 15 years, ever night. The last 4 of those years has been drinking most of the day. My whole family is shattered because of this and I just don't know what to do to help her or myself.
She went for a liver biopsy a few months ago and has still not been to get the results, she is so in denial it is crazy. I seen her today for the first time in 30 days (that's how long this drinking session lasted for and I live with her) and she is yellow. She is weak and getting confused. She has not drank for the last few days, I really think she is dying. Everything I try to tell her or talk about it, there is an excuse, she thinks she has the flu.
Can I find out the results from her doctor? Has anybody been in this situation and been able to do something?
I am hoping me writing about it will help as I just feel completely lost. Thanks for reading and any comments are appreciated
My mum has drank probably around 15 years, ever night. The last 4 of those years has been drinking most of the day. My whole family is shattered because of this and I just don't know what to do to help her or myself.
She went for a liver biopsy a few months ago and has still not been to get the results, she is so in denial it is crazy. I seen her today for the first time in 30 days (that's how long this drinking session lasted for and I live with her) and she is yellow. She is weak and getting confused. She has not drank for the last few days, I really think she is dying. Everything I try to tell her or talk about it, there is an excuse, she thinks she has the flu.
Can I find out the results from her doctor? Has anybody been in this situation and been able to do something?
I am hoping me writing about it will help as I just feel completely lost. Thanks for reading and any comments are appreciated
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
A couple of months for the biopsy is a really long time. Call the dr. asap and find out what's going on. If she's yellow that's also a very bad sign. Can you get her to see a doctor? She really should do that very soon.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
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I think she is too scared To find out the truth, she must know deep down. When she had previously been to doctors she doesn't come back with a straight answer for anything so we really don't know what is being said. Her brain has turned to mush. I think she will go soon because if she gets worse she will have to. I just don't know how long this can go on for. Days, weeks, months or do I have years left with her?
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
I'm not a doctor and your mum really should see one. If they did a liver biopsy someone is concerned that she has issues with its function. Being yellow is a sign of jaundice. Also related to liver failure. I have no idea how critical that is but if it was my mum I'd get her to see a dr. sooner than later.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Gall....I don't know how it works in the United Kingdom.....but, here in the U.S......you can tell the doctor anything....but, the doctor has to have a signed permission to give out information.
If you know the doctor....he or she might be willing to talk to your mother o n the phone if you tell them the symptoms that she is having.
The liver has amazing ability to regenerate (depending on the cause).....so, I wouldn't throw in the towel just yet.....
If they haven't been eating...nutritional deficiencies....especially the Bvitamins can cause mental changes, also. (this requires intravenous dosing by a physician). Is there any way you can get an emergency personnel in to see her....?
Sometimes, other people who are not family can have more Influence.....
dandylion
If you know the doctor....he or she might be willing to talk to your mother o n the phone if you tell them the symptoms that she is having.
The liver has amazing ability to regenerate (depending on the cause).....so, I wouldn't throw in the towel just yet.....
If they haven't been eating...nutritional deficiencies....especially the Bvitamins can cause mental changes, also. (this requires intravenous dosing by a physician). Is there any way you can get an emergency personnel in to see her....?
Sometimes, other people who are not family can have more Influence.....
dandylion
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
The liver has great regenerative powers--to a point. My second husband almost died of liver failure but months later was found to have EARLY cirrhosis, and if he quit drinking he would be fine. He didn't stop, and I'm not sure how he's still alive, but he is, and it's been almost 20 years.
Certainly her continued drinking will shorten her life, but it's hard to say what might happen if she quits. She might recover completely.
You might want to consult an attorney about a guardianship if she is incompetent to take care of herself.
Hugs,
Certainly her continued drinking will shorten her life, but it's hard to say what might happen if she quits. She might recover completely.
You might want to consult an attorney about a guardianship if she is incompetent to take care of herself.
Hugs,
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
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Gall, see if you can get her to a doctor, or if she faints or becomes incapable, call an ambulance and they will take her to hospital where she'll get the proper tests.
If she's determined not to go, you can't do much until she's too sick to make decisions on her own (ambulance time). The fact that she's stopped because she's scared is good. Tell her you'll go with her to the doctors and support her whatever the results of the test. She might just need an understanding companion, so try not to be judgemental or to lecture.
If she's determined not to go, you can't do much until she's too sick to make decisions on her own (ambulance time). The fact that she's stopped because she's scared is good. Tell her you'll go with her to the doctors and support her whatever the results of the test. She might just need an understanding companion, so try not to be judgemental or to lecture.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
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Thank you everyone for your comments. Knowing your not alone in a situation also helps too. Just wish she could see what she's doing. Unfortunately she has a good way of ignoring anything to do with alcohol when it is mentioned. Plus she is just the nastiest when she is drunk. I hope this forum will help even if it's just venting. Thank you
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