My head is spinning!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 665
My head is spinning!
I have been sober nearly 6 years now, H continued to drink.
I live the Al-anon lifestyle and we muddled along ok. About 3 months ago H quit. As the title says, my head is spinning. Of course I am pleased he has quit but find such a lot of changes that are currently going on to be overwhelming.
I don't know what I want from posting this, it just seems I need to put it out there.
We are taking it slowly and carefully but is such a BIG difference to everything. My head feels like this !
I live the Al-anon lifestyle and we muddled along ok. About 3 months ago H quit. As the title says, my head is spinning. Of course I am pleased he has quit but find such a lot of changes that are currently going on to be overwhelming.
I don't know what I want from posting this, it just seems I need to put it out there.
We are taking it slowly and carefully but is such a BIG difference to everything. My head feels like this !
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Congratulations on your recovery!! 
I'm sorry you're hurting and frustrated. That is very understandable!
I didn't realize what a big difference being "sober" and working a recovery program are until my husband went through rehab twice. The alcohol worked to "normalize" his brain, until that stopped working. Living without alcohol is quite a long learning curve and needs commitment and much support. He and I both learned a lot during his rehabs -- me at family week, and also about myself while he was gone. He never fully committed to it, relapsed multiple times and is still in active addiction.
My disease of alcoholism (the family disease, with lots of ism's!) also requires much commitment and support. I finally started going to Alanon regularly, got a sponsor, am working the steps, and instead of not knowing if I could make one meeting a week somehow realized how important they are to my recovery and drove 2 - 6 hours round trip to make it to meetings this summer. I couldn't have done that on my own. Once I seriously committed to the program and became willing, life opened up. I was going to 3-6 meetings a week. That may seem like a crazy amount of hours on the road, but it led me to sanity. Mid-summer I volunteered for being on a speaker committee and started listening to Alanon speaker tapes during the drives.
Lately I've been going to 1-2 meetings a week. I need more in-person recovery time. I'm not sure how that's going to look. I do know that as I seek it and make my recovery a priority again, something will open up. It's no longer about dealing with my qualifier, it's about dealing with myself. The deeper I go, the more I have to work on. Baby steps, easy does it.
When I'm spiritually fit, I see the good in life that I'm often blind to.
Having a sponsor has been a big part of the healing I'm going through, and seeing examples of how working the steps multiple times brings new discoveries inspires me, even when I'm plateauing and learning how to deal with that, also.
What are you doing for yourself today? What's for dinner tonight?
Ktf
I'm sorry you're hurting and frustrated. That is very understandable!
I didn't realize what a big difference being "sober" and working a recovery program are until my husband went through rehab twice. The alcohol worked to "normalize" his brain, until that stopped working. Living without alcohol is quite a long learning curve and needs commitment and much support. He and I both learned a lot during his rehabs -- me at family week, and also about myself while he was gone. He never fully committed to it, relapsed multiple times and is still in active addiction.
My disease of alcoholism (the family disease, with lots of ism's!) also requires much commitment and support. I finally started going to Alanon regularly, got a sponsor, am working the steps, and instead of not knowing if I could make one meeting a week somehow realized how important they are to my recovery and drove 2 - 6 hours round trip to make it to meetings this summer. I couldn't have done that on my own. Once I seriously committed to the program and became willing, life opened up. I was going to 3-6 meetings a week. That may seem like a crazy amount of hours on the road, but it led me to sanity. Mid-summer I volunteered for being on a speaker committee and started listening to Alanon speaker tapes during the drives.
Lately I've been going to 1-2 meetings a week. I need more in-person recovery time. I'm not sure how that's going to look. I do know that as I seek it and make my recovery a priority again, something will open up. It's no longer about dealing with my qualifier, it's about dealing with myself. The deeper I go, the more I have to work on. Baby steps, easy does it.
When I'm spiritually fit, I see the good in life that I'm often blind to.
Having a sponsor has been a big part of the healing I'm going through, and seeing examples of how working the steps multiple times brings new discoveries inspires me, even when I'm plateauing and learning how to deal with that, also.
What are you doing for yourself today? What's for dinner tonight?
Ktf
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 665
Many thanks for your kind replies Fire Spirit and Keeping the Faith, also all the thumbs ups!
As always with these things, it passed. My mind calmed down and the overwhelmed feeling passed.
My main goal was to make sure I did nothing destructive that then caused me further problems or work to put right. I didn't. I managed my emotions calmly. Venting here helped a lot. Just writing the truth really helps.
KTF, yes I had a nice meal, I always eat nice food. I have a very good and strong self care routine firmly in place.
The issues here are the constant change and renegotiation of our roles in our marriage. Now we are both sober adults, we both want to step up and do our part instead of sliding it off onto the other one!
As always with these things, it passed. My mind calmed down and the overwhelmed feeling passed.
My main goal was to make sure I did nothing destructive that then caused me further problems or work to put right. I didn't. I managed my emotions calmly. Venting here helped a lot. Just writing the truth really helps.
KTF, yes I had a nice meal, I always eat nice food. I have a very good and strong self care routine firmly in place.
The issues here are the constant change and renegotiation of our roles in our marriage. Now we are both sober adults, we both want to step up and do our part instead of sliding it off onto the other one!
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