Well You Said it Here First

Old 09-05-2015, 12:56 PM
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Well You Said it Here First

I had to go and collect my son's bike from ex ah house today as it was not brought to us when he moved in with me. Exah been out of hospital after his detox a week and he's drinking again. He was stroppy, rude and snide. His face was all swollen up again and my daughter had to repeat herself several times when he asked the same questions over and over. He has no detox back up and has not attempted to get any. I am done with him. I left without the bike. I am never going back.
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Old 09-05-2015, 02:14 PM
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His drinking is his disappointment, not yours. Work your program, mind your own business and give him to God!!
Hugs Tansy!!
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Old 09-05-2015, 04:07 PM
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I'm sorry Tansy
I'm glad you have the boys with you.
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Old 09-06-2015, 04:41 AM
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Sorry he's relapsed so quickly Tansy. It shows he's nowhere near the mindset he needs to recover.
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Old 09-06-2015, 08:01 AM
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Am not disappointed. I knew he'd be back on it again within days. I've not told my boys tho cos they will be disappointed.
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Old 09-21-2015, 01:04 PM
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I think I have just about had it with all things alcoholic related. I can hardly bear to read here anymore I am so bone weary of it all. It's depressing.The no contact I have had with exah has lasted but then my daughter phoned to say he has nearly starved two of our cats to death. It was the only two he had to look after, he doted on them but he has not fed them. He is too busy drinking himself to death and tbh that what he wants.

My son broke the door down to get in the house to feed them ( exah was in but too drunk to wake up at 2 pm in the afternoon) and took one cat with him. He is in a rental with my daughters and has 3 there already. His landlord said no more. Mine said none at all.

The remaining cat I have to go and collect tomorrow to give to a kind friend. It's that or leave her to starve and I cannot do that. She is old and lovely and she does not deserve this treatment. I do not want to see exah. I do not want to go there. I do not want to argue the toss over the fact he did not feed the cats for over a week. He will lie. I am so sick of his lies I could scream. I know he did not feed them as the can of food was the same one my daughter left open on the counter over a week before and the same tins were unopened in the cupboard. She checked today. However he can argue black is white. He will be verbally abusive. I have no option but to go and get the poor cat. My daughter is going too to help me crate her. After tomorrow I am never speaking to him again. I have told my son's that is it. We are bringing my son's bike back here at the same and all contact ceases. I don't know when I will come back to read here. I need a break from it all.
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Old 09-21-2015, 01:24 PM
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Huge hugs. Yes it is depressing. One day I want to burn all the alcoholism books. Prayers for peace for your family.
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Old 09-21-2015, 01:25 PM
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understandable, Tansy - so sad. Keep taking care of you!
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Old 09-21-2015, 02:27 PM
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Oh sweetie, I am sorry. You are doing the right thing. We are always here for you no matter what, anytime you need us.

Sending many hugs and lots of strength!
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Old 09-21-2015, 06:13 PM
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I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, Tansy. You're doing what has to be done, and it sucks. Just know that we're there with you in spirit.
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Old 09-21-2015, 06:16 PM
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Tansy-hugs from Texas tonight. I know how hard it is but you're doing what you need to do. Prayers. Peace to you tonight!
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Old 09-21-2015, 07:49 PM
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Tansy,

I'm sorry you and your cats are going through this. Calling the authorities might be both safer and more effective.

Good luck!
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Old 09-21-2015, 08:20 PM
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Old 09-23-2015, 03:19 PM
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Thank you for all your replies. I rescued the cat yesterday. Exah was asleep or passed out on the sofa during the time I was in the house. He never heard us but I saw him. The TV was booming out too.

Late tonight ( I am in the UK and we were all in bed early with bad colds.) exah phoned one of my sons. He upset him telling him he was dying in hospital. My son came in my room white and shaking. Then my daughter messaged me to tell me he phoned her too. I have exah blocked but now I have had to unblock him cos I saw 2 calls from him had been blocked on my phone. If I'd answered he would not of upset my kids. They won't block him. My son says if he does die he'd feel terrible if he hadn't answered his call. I asked him why? He couldn't say. I said what happens if he died and you were switched off cos you were asleep or in a class? It is not your fault if you cannot take his call. It is not your fault if you do not want to talk to him either. My poor lad is way off getting his head around that. He's still hoping for a miracle

I phoned exah to see exactly what was going on as my son is so upset. He told me he'd been in the hospital 4 days, so it was obviously his evil twin I saw parked on the sofa yesterday. I asked him NOT to phone him anymore about medical matters or tell him he is dying ..even if he is! He is an autistic child not an adult. He agreed. I doubt he will stick to it tho. He proceeded to go on about his health..all drink related stuff he had many times before. He has not noticed the cats have gone.

My daughter told me I will have to deal with him to protect my son. She is right. SO the nightmare continues. I am so sick of this man I could scream. I am so done with it all now. I cannot stand the sound of his voice but I must somehow continue. If he is allowed to phone me he won't be bothering my kids. My whole day was taken up with sorting out things cos of his previous non action or actions to do with my son's. I cried in the bathroom with frustration over it all and now this I feel like I reached saturation point 15 years ago but there is not peace, no rest from him, no moving on properly unless I can get my kids to BLOCK him.
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Old 09-23-2015, 06:26 PM
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Sounds like nature will take its course soon enough Tansy--
Try to detach meanwhile

Sorry for your pain
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Old 09-24-2015, 04:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Tansy View Post


My daughter told me I will have to deal with him to protect my son. She is right. SO the nightmare continues. I am so sick of this man I could scream. I am so done with it all now. I cannot stand the sound of his voice but I must somehow continue. If he is allowed to phone me he won't be bothering my kids. My whole day was taken up with sorting out things cos of his previous non action or actions to do with my son's. I cried in the bathroom with frustration over it all and now this I feel like I reached saturation point 15 years ago but there is not peace, no rest from him, no moving on properly unless I can get my kids to BLOCK him.
Hi Tansy, you might have to unblock him but you can keep any conversation with him to a strict minimum. You don't have to listen to his medical problems, you don't have to be his counsellor, you barely even have to engage with whatever he's telling you.
Soon you'll be finished cleaning up the mess he left behind, and he'll get sick of calling you if you don't engage.
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