healthyagain

Thanks again! I feel way better this evening. All my chores and work done. And it is Friday! You know what? I am actually looking forward to weekends again!

Now, I am going to seriously look into self-representing. Why not? He may not even respond anyway. All docs I have already with me. I have contacted that nonprofit organization before looking for legal help, and they have free online forms. Plus I can always see if there is an attorney who might want to instruct me a bit.

LexieCat

Attagirl! Given your financial situation, it's hard for me to imagine your going too far wrong.

I handled my second divorce (no kids, marriage that lasted only a few months, little joint property/debt) completely on my own. I do happen to be a lawyer, but if there had been anything I was seriously concerned about, I would have consulted a divorce attorney.

I remember the one snag I ran into, which is when the dimwit I was married to said he would only sign the papers if I agreed to stop using his last name (long story, but I'm still using it because I changed it professionally and didn't want to make a change to a third name or take my first husband's name again). I told him I could legally call myself anything I chose to and he could sign or not sign but I was going ahead with things. He signed. If he hadn't, he still had no legal leg to stand on--nothing he could have argued--so I wasn't worried.

SnoozyQ

I did the same Lexie , handled it all by myself , drew up papers I i knew we would both agree on. Split everything down the middle.

No matter what happens , fairness is the best approach. It shouldn't have to be worrying about paper trails etc. You loved each other once.

Do the same as it ends , try to be civil , especially if children are involved.
You will find , from my perspective only , that as an active alcoholic , he won't be able to deal with all the paperwork and drama anyhow.

He has a disease , it's sad.
I do wish the best for both of you & hope it ends nicely

Good luck xxxx

healthyagain

Well guys, after another encounter today with my AH, I am definitely getting in touch with the same attorney tomorrow. My credit card is paid off and ready, and I have more cash coming in sometime this week. In the past three months, I was recuperating, rethinking my situation, working really hard. At moments, I admit, I was hoping that such a drastic move would make him think too. But he does not care. Lying and lying to my face. LOL, he is saying how he is slooooowly reducing. When confronted, all you can hear is *crickets*.

I will definitely ask about self-representing. And thank you all who brought up this idea. How many chances do we give them to "change," to see the light? Countless, right? I was thinking this evening: ONE LIFE is all that we have. One precious life. This guy does not care about his own, how can he care about mine?

So, I will have some good sleep tonight, and then, back to where I stopped.

And I am lucky to have found you.