amy55

What time is it where you are?

amy55

You know I'll stay with you. Right now, to me, you are the most important person.

healthyagain

It is 21:30 here. We were talking about my alcoholic daisy (husband). LOL

Sorry but had to laugh.

You know, you were right about everything. Abuse got worse. But I can control myself now. Big time.

amy55

me too. LOL. Daisies grow like weeds.

I got to the point also that I was able to control myself, but sometimes that doesn't work, that's when they come in and try to push your buttons.

Just know, I'll be here for you.

Do you want to try to take your mind off of things and just chat for awhile, or do you think you may have to be hyper vigilant right now?

healthyagain

Oh he did... I do not know how much you remember, but when we talked last time, it was me who slapped him after he told me we were never even married. Well guess what? In March, he repeated the same insult. And he said "go ahead slap me." Today he did it too after calling me a stupid c**ks****ing b**ch.

This time, instead of slapping, I make phone calls.

I'll be OK Amy really, I have my ears and eyes open, and have some work to do. But I will stay online. Makes me closer to people.

amy55

I'm really glad to hear that you will stay online. See, I probably told you this, or if you read anything I wrote, I used to isolate. That does no good.

I know how they can push you so far, that you respond in like. I did. You are doing good right now.

Is he coming in to bother you, or hopefully is he sleeping off the drunk?

Remember, you car is right outside. You can lock yourself in. I did it many times.

Carlotta

Exactly and even drive off to a safe part of town and catch a couple of hours sleep in your car. Nothing wrong with that and if I remember what my friends in NY told me, it's warming up on the East Coast.

healthyagain

Oh, never more isolate. You see, our landlady knows now something is going on. On Friday, I went to the office and told them that things between my so and so are not working well, and that I will be moving out. I was hoping that they would offer me a small studio (it is a big apartment complex, at least 8 buildings), and they basically did, no question asked. At first I was only aiming for their references. There is also the Plan B apartment complex.

This is what made him go insane.

+ I talked to attorney.

Impurrfect

I'm late in reading this, but just want you to know I am keeping you in my prayers.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

amy55

Do you know what he is doing right now? Is he sleeping?

You are right that this could be a dangerous time. He knows your plans.

Just keep talking to us, or get in that car, and drop a message that you are OK.

I think you already know how much I care for you. I don't want you hurt.

((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
amy

healthyagain

It is quiet, and from time to time I hear something that sounds like a very loud yawn.

I do not dare to peek inside of that bedroom, but pretty sure he is sleeping.

amy55

I do wish you would leave, but I also know how I was, but still I do wish you would leave. You can't trust sleep. Thing is, alcohol isn't making him abusive, it is the way he is.

Has he ever been physically violent with you?

SeriousKarma

Thinking of you Healthyagain, and sending you thoughts and prayers. Stay safe.

healthyagain

No, but when he dares me to hit him, I am absolutely positive he would smack me back. I just know it.

amy55

I'm even including physical violence to extend to punching walls, kicking walls, pushing you, throwing things.

searching peace

I used to go and drive to the hospital and park under a light near the ER. It was safe and I could fall asleep sometimes.

healthyagain

He throws food and smashes it in the fridge, there is also a towel holder in the bathroom that had a dent, and he replaced it. And there is one instance that makes my blood freeze: when he broke the glass on the frame of my naturalization certificate (copy). He said he was trying to take off a "sticker" that he put on there the night before. Ever since then I do not have it on the wall anymore.

So yes

amy55

I also wanted to talk about something else here. I think I remember reading that you were getting an apt at the same place you are living at now.

I'm sorry I didn't respond to that thread. My excuse, lol, was having my own dilemma. It pales in comparison to yours.

healthyagain

Yeah, might even get one tomorrow. Tight with money.

amy55

I hope you know that you have an army of people here with you, and we just love you just the way you are. You are part of our family.

When you hurt, I hurt for you.