I went to my first meeting
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 254
I went to my first meeting
And it was a really positive experience!
I've been intending to start going to Al-Anon, but I went to a Coda meeting yesterday. It was my first support group meeting of any kind! People were very welcoming and understanding of my newbie status. I shared once, but only got teary when the Coda Promises were read out loud. (quoted below)
After hearing everyone's shares, and getting a feel for how meetings go, and feeling the comfort in the anonymity of the setting, and the relief of being around other people who understand the feelings even though the details of each story may be very different, I want to go to a BUNCH of meetings!!!
I feel a little unsure of where to go from here. Just keep going to meetings, I guess. I don't really know how to go about 'working steps'. But maybe it's too early to worry about that.
Anyway, I feel really proud of myself for finally going to a meeting - it's kind of something I've been thinking about since I was 15, when my dad died, and I'm 32 now. I realized after my share that I mostly talked about my mom, not myself!
If you're reading this and wondering if you should go to a support group meeting - just try it a couple times. You really don't have to say a single word while you're there if you're not up to it. If you've even wondering if it might be a helpful thing, it probably will be. It's a couple hours of your life - just try it! I really am so glad I just took the leap - it ended up being a landing onto some very soft pillows
I now I have written down for myself a weekly schedule of available Coda, Al-anon, and grief meetings throughout the week with their addresses. Turns out there's an al-anon meeting four blocks from my house twice a week!!
I've been intending to start going to Al-Anon, but I went to a Coda meeting yesterday. It was my first support group meeting of any kind! People were very welcoming and understanding of my newbie status. I shared once, but only got teary when the Coda Promises were read out loud. (quoted below)
After hearing everyone's shares, and getting a feel for how meetings go, and feeling the comfort in the anonymity of the setting, and the relief of being around other people who understand the feelings even though the details of each story may be very different, I want to go to a BUNCH of meetings!!!
I feel a little unsure of where to go from here. Just keep going to meetings, I guess. I don't really know how to go about 'working steps'. But maybe it's too early to worry about that.
Anyway, I feel really proud of myself for finally going to a meeting - it's kind of something I've been thinking about since I was 15, when my dad died, and I'm 32 now. I realized after my share that I mostly talked about my mom, not myself!
If you're reading this and wondering if you should go to a support group meeting - just try it a couple times. You really don't have to say a single word while you're there if you're not up to it. If you've even wondering if it might be a helpful thing, it probably will be. It's a couple hours of your life - just try it! I really am so glad I just took the leap - it ended up being a landing onto some very soft pillows
I now I have written down for myself a weekly schedule of available Coda, Al-anon, and grief meetings throughout the week with their addresses. Turns out there's an al-anon meeting four blocks from my house twice a week!!
The Twelve Promises of Codependents Anonymous
I can expect a miraculous change in my life by working the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous. As I make an honest effort to work the Twelve Steps and follow the Twelve Traditions...
I know a new sense of belonging. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness will disappear.
I am no longer controlled by my fears. I overcome my fears and act with courage, integrity and dignity.
I know a new freedom.
I release myself from worry, guilt, and regret about my past and present. I am aware enough not to repeat it.
I know a new love and acceptance of myself and others. I feel genuinely lovable, loving and loved.
I learn to see myself as equal to others. My new and renewed relationships are all with equal partners.
I am capable of developing and maintaining healthy and loving relationships. The need to control and manipulate others will disappear as I learn to trust those who are trustworthy.
I learn that it is possible to mend - to become more loving, intimate and supportive. I have the choice of communicating with my family in a way which is safe for me and respectful of them.
I acknowledge that I am a unique and precious creation.
I no longer need to rely solely on others to provide my sense of worth.
I trust a guidance I receive from my higher power and come to believe in my own capabilities.
I gradually experience serenity, strength, and spiritual growth in my daily life.
I can expect a miraculous change in my life by working the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous. As I make an honest effort to work the Twelve Steps and follow the Twelve Traditions...
I know a new sense of belonging. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness will disappear.
I am no longer controlled by my fears. I overcome my fears and act with courage, integrity and dignity.
I know a new freedom.
I release myself from worry, guilt, and regret about my past and present. I am aware enough not to repeat it.
I know a new love and acceptance of myself and others. I feel genuinely lovable, loving and loved.
I learn to see myself as equal to others. My new and renewed relationships are all with equal partners.
I am capable of developing and maintaining healthy and loving relationships. The need to control and manipulate others will disappear as I learn to trust those who are trustworthy.
I learn that it is possible to mend - to become more loving, intimate and supportive. I have the choice of communicating with my family in a way which is safe for me and respectful of them.
I acknowledge that I am a unique and precious creation.
I no longer need to rely solely on others to provide my sense of worth.
I trust a guidance I receive from my higher power and come to believe in my own capabilities.
I gradually experience serenity, strength, and spiritual growth in my daily life.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Good for you, seasaw! I'm so glad you found it helpful, and I'm so grateful you took the time and effort to share your experience here with others who may be wondering what meetings are all about.
Like they say in Alanon, "Keep coming back!"
(((big giant hugs))) and congrats on your progress.
Like they say in Alanon, "Keep coming back!"
(((big giant hugs))) and congrats on your progress.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Thanks, Seasaw. I think I am going to check out a CoDA meeting in my area. I have been to a few Alanon meetings and they were helpful. I remember my first meeting, I couldn't stop the tears. They just flowed down my face for what felt like forever and no one made me feel uncomfortable about it.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 254
Originally Posted by DoubleDragons 
Thanks, Seasaw. I think I am going to check out a CoDA meeting in my area. I have been to a few Alanon meetings and they were helpful. I remember my first meeting, I couldn't stop the tears. They just flowed down my face for what felt like forever and no one made me feel uncomfortable about it.
DD - let me/us know when you go!!
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
YAY for you! Keep going and learning and growing and remember that it's all a process. I love my home meeting and there are about 3 others that I frequent when I can and I've met some of my best friends at these meetings. HUGS!
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 254
Originally Posted by DoubleDragons
Seasaw, I did download the Kindle version of the Coda Big Book
Also - maybe you can tell me - I wasn't sure how heavy the Coda Big Book is on the God stuff. I know everyone gets to imagine their own higher power but I'm a lifelong atheist (happy for everyone who finds something that helps them!), so I'm trying to figure that side of the meetings/literature out. (I know this has probably already been discussed at length all over the place, just wondering about this specific book!)
There was a meeting last night but I didn't end up going, I decided to go with Mr. Seasaw to a social engagement he really didn't want to go to, but would find more tolerable with me along for the ride. I was really proud of him for actually asking me for something (he's such a "no, i'm fine, i don't need anything, i'll do it myself, what can i do for YOU?" kind of guy - sound familiar? ha!), and i was happy to do it. we ended up having a great time, it got us out to an activity (rollerskating!) we would never normally do, and we've been a little stressed with each other lately and it was great to have that fun together. i was thinking to myself, is it codie of me to miss a CODA meeting to do this?? but i think it was for all the right reasons
sidenote: everyone, go rollerskating, it's hilarious and great exercise.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 254
Originally Posted by lizatola
YAY for you! Keep going and learning and growing and remember that it's all a process. I love my home meeting and there are about 3 others that I frequent when I can and I've met some of my best friends at these meetings. HUGS!
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
I can't speak on the God issue, Sea Saw because I have a very clear idea/connection with what I consider to be my Higher Power and I always have, so that has never been a stumbling block for me. I guess, like all things, take what you like and leave the rest?
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
seasaw, I read a book called "Waiting: A Nonbeliever's Higher Power" and found it helpful. I was able to get it thru my county library system so I could read it before purchasing it. You could try that, or you could check out this free PDF for a taste of the book before buying it:
https://www.hazelden.org/HAZ_MEDIA/3028_waiting.pdf
https://www.hazelden.org/HAZ_MEDIA/3028_waiting.pdf
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 254
Pulling up this thread to say - i'm in a different country, it's been weeks since i went to a meeting - but i went to one tonight, finding that there was one for english speakers here, and i just am so glad that i did. Being in a room full of people who you've never met but who understand... So far from home... I am so grateful, and am feeling a bit foolish for letting my recovery slip from me so much. I havent been making my program a priority in my life because things have just been going along... And when life got bumpy, out here with the FOO, i wasnt sure how to react, when I could have been falling back on my PROGRAM instead of being stressed out by doing guesswork and piecing together pieces of Coda and various pieces of advice.
When I get back home, I'm going to change my tune and start making meetings and the al-anon literature a much bigger priority. (Remind me if i forget? Heh)
When I get back home, I'm going to change my tune and start making meetings and the al-anon literature a much bigger priority. (Remind me if i forget? Heh)
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Seasaw, if you are having problems with the concept of Higher Power Firesprite started a really good thread about an alternate way to look at the steps from a secular perspective.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5342880
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5342880
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