killerinstinct

A anyone else pissed off by the amount of drama the alcoholic brings into ones life in the form of ongoing court proceedings and dealing with the collateral damage they cause. Or am I the only one? I am so fed I feel like this will never end

TalenCrowhaven

Not anymore.

Mine died.

zoso77

Oh, I can relate. I was going to take a RO out on my AXGF last spring but thought the better of it. Since I had initiated the RO but decided to not pursue it, I still had to go to the hearing that was scheduled, and that event created a schedule conflict for me later in the day.

And I remember being incredibly, incredibly angry. If I could have taken control of a Predator drone to fire missiles into wherever my AXGF was living, I was angry enough to do so in the moment. Nothing satisfies my anger like massive explosions.

Then it occurred to me that getting under my skin and making me angry was what my AXGF wanted to do. Once I figured that out, I calmed down...and haven't been that angry since.

So, a couple of things. If you don't work out already, start. And if you can afford it, buy a PS4, get a copy of Grand Theft Auto V, and get your anger out that way.

amberly

I am pissed off right now. Stuck with 30k in legal fees. Most of the charges were against him and i was the victim. That means I am the only one with a paycheck. So I have to come up with 30k because I dared to call the police.

tanzanitelover

So sorry .

healthyagain

Absolutely pissed off, and compared to your stories, mine is an angel.

LemonGirl

YES! But not about my xabf... it is over custody bs with my daughter's dad who was a meth addict and emotionally and mentally abusive. He continues to make threats about taking me back to court, yet again, because I won't "bend" the way he wants me to with the kids. It is exhausting! And I HATE how the courts support his efforts like he's a normal person. He is a conniving, manipulate, meany-butt with the sole intention of messing with me... Lately, I have come to the realization that I might just have to get a lawyer and owe a huge debt for life =(

Duckygirl1

Between my xabf in rehab and his active addict brother, their parents have put the family lawyers kids through grad school! They just paid 8k in back child support for the brother who works, but spends his money on booze and drugs. Enabling is pricey!!!!

Kboys

I get more pissed off all the tim e. But its a lot of pissed off at myself for allowing ah and xabf to make me feel this way. I have allowed it all... Why?
But yeah... Pissed at ah right now for being a selfish ahole. I do not like feels ng anger normally. It doesn't come naturally to me... Besides at myself... But I think.. For me.. Its good to really feel it in order to move through it.

Ileana

Beyond pissed off. Found my AD passed out on a chair with lit candles by an open window with curtains inches away. So it 3AM and I am so upset that I can't sleep. I'm getting too old for this. Too d&mn old.

Hawks

Wow, that's intense.

killerinstinct

Zoso you sound like me I can totally relate

killerinstinct

Amberly I have just received my first bill of $10000 and that's for last months lawyers fees.. I am so angry and stressed. I have had to apply for a credit increase God willing i get it because my this months bill will be close to that amount too because I now have someone even more superior to my lawyer working on my case.. I am expecting this will cost me close to $20000 And all the while he doesn't even want his son!! He just wants to punish me.. He doesn't have to pay a cent because according to him his not an alcoholic he just has PTSD so the government and he can ride this out for years because he's a pensioner now (and only 38!). This is a heavy price to pay for being a loyal faithful wife to a man who I was once married to.. It's an even heavier price to pay for a single parent struggling.

redatlanta

I have not had to deal with this part and won't. We don't have children and everything between us is legally secured should we ever split.

I am very empathetic to you all and sorry for the never ending drama and cost of the never ending drama. ((((Hugs))))

zoso77

It certainly was.

The takeaway I want you to have is when that rage and that anger gets that intense, you can learn to dial it back. As Michael Corleone once said about his brother Sonny, his temper...too much...clouded his reason. My AXGF wanted to get under my skin, and for a couple of hours, she was successful.

Addicts and alcoholics are capable of disrupting our lives in a major, major way, especially once court dates are in the mix. Try not let it eat at you, and make sure you do things to blow off some steam. Working out, for me, is a great way to stay level headed.

mnh1982

Dudes, I'm with Zoso.
Working out regularly & fairly strenuously is the only thing keeping me sane.
That, & pinpointing those few friends that you can call/text/Facebook something completely vague like, "ARRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" to & not only do they know why you're doing it, but they invite you to vent if you need.
But seriously.
Lift weights. Or boxing. I've been boxing for 13 years & punching stuff really does help...

Hangnbyathread

I stayed pissed at mine for as long as we were together.

No matter how I adjusted to a new norm, that got skewed again and again. She was (alcohol made her) the most selfish manipulative person I had ever met.

The dramas.....oh the dramas. Never ending. Never their fault. I just gave up.

bailey17

someone on this forum told me once, "it ends when you decide it will end" Those words were so powerful for me. And by "end", it didn't mean that all those problems went away. it just meant that someone else created these problems but it was up to ME to solve them for the well being of my life. you are not the only one. I am still dealing with the legal/financial aftermath 3 years later but you know what? at this point, it's up to me to resolve this stuff, because I chose (unknowingly) to be in a relationship with someone reckless. If i have the strength to work through it day by day, you do too!!

TalenCrowhaven

Ah yes, the go-to zone, to equalize the pressure!

A heavily modded PC version of Fallout 3 is my favorite "make things catch on fire and go boom" game.

Then there was always playing drums (when I had a kit).

Listening to "Down With the Sickness" by Disturbed, "Head Like a Hole" by NIN, or just about anything from Ministry.

maia1234

KI- I am so sorry!! My XAH put me through hell but it must have been northern tip of hell, compared to you all!!

Have patience as they say, what goes around comes around. They will have their just due!! God will take care of them in the end.