PurpleWilder

So last night I went to my usual Wed night CODA meeting. There was supposed to be a Step meeting right after and I was looking forward to it because afterwards the 3 or 4 of us had planned go out and get a bite to eat and just socialize a little.

But nobody else but me was ready for the Step meeting so I was all hyped up and nowhere to go. I was kinda disappointed and really wanted to go out after the meeting and just chill.

One of the other people in the meeting and I got to talking about ethnic food after the meeting and I found out that they loved sushi too. So I said, "Ya wanna go get some?" So we did.

BTW, it was a guy.

And you know what? It was great. It most assuredly was NOT a date. But I was authentic. At ease. We talked about how we got to CODA. I didn't hide anything. I conversed. Made jokes. I never realized how afraid I was of interactions with guys (because of my past with me XAH) until I realized that I couldn't look guys in the eyes unless I forced myself, even if it was just a casual thing.

I had fun. We told each other our stories and what we were working on in our lives.

Best of all, I didn't "percolate". That is my personal term for when I take a small insignificant thing - like having a nice time with a fellow codie/guy - and turn it into "OMG where is this going?" in my head. It just was.....fine.

But then I went home and ready Beattie's chapter in Beyond Codependency on "Overcoming Fatal Attractions" just to be sure LOL

I know I have to be careful here but this feels like progress. Thoughts?

FireSprite

I think it sounds FANTASTIC. So.... normal. It reads like progress for you in the way that you write about it here, (full of happy energy!) and that's all that matters.... YOUR opinion.

It sounds like such a happy, peaceful moment in your recovery!

lillamy

Yep, that sounds like a good, normal interaction.

happybeingme

Great job. A normal night. Maybe a friendship. All healthy.

Woohoo! Go You!

CodeJob

Progress my friend. A lot of my progress in codependency is identified in the growing length between my fits or how fast I shut them down.

schnappi99

I've hooked up with another newbie and she's found a 3rd, we email/text and generally do program work in conversation and sometimes meetups. It was very obvious how careful we all have to be over the gender thing.

Both our sponsors have made sure to mention the risks- which I try to keep in clear focus- from how she's acting its similar for her. Its fascinating how similar the codie issues are though, and having conversations about the cutting edge of newbie recovery has been very helpful to me. I talk to my sponsor weekly or sometimes twice, generally I run stuff by him too. They way its working now he seems to say the right thing at the right time, once it was as simple as a word choice when he shared in a meeting, other times its been the war stories. He has this look that sneaks right into my brain and confuses the truth and what I'm really wondering about out of me.

My goal is to act such that if my recovery people, work people and home people were all in the same room I would still be comfortable.

NYCDoglvr

Thanks for posting a wonderful reminder that it's one day at a time. Yesterday you experienced a shift in thinking, a wonderful sign of progress. Yeaaa!