Feeling so guilty that I didn't protect my children
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
I also think talking to your kids is a GREAT idea.
My mom has had some sleepless nights over this issue since starting recovery herself a couple of years ago. She apologized to me one day & could barely get the words out because of the shame & all those negative emotions.
I told her, "Just because I have damage doesn't mean I hold resentments, Mom."
Even if I didn't understand at the time, I certainly did now, years later & I could clearly see that she did the best she knew to do, that her actions came from love & not some malicious intent. Your kids will see that Butterfly. ((((hugs)))
My mom has had some sleepless nights over this issue since starting recovery herself a couple of years ago. She apologized to me one day & could barely get the words out because of the shame & all those negative emotions.
I told her, "Just because I have damage doesn't mean I hold resentments, Mom."
Even if I didn't understand at the time, I certainly did now, years later & I could clearly see that she did the best she knew to do, that her actions came from love & not some malicious intent. Your kids will see that Butterfly. ((((hugs)))
Baby Steps
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,689
Thank you everyone for your kind, supportive and encouraging words. The support I have received here has been my saving grace and I know I wouldn't be where I am now in my grieving process and recovery had I not found you all. God led me to this site!
Hammer you are very welcome although I don't know why you are thanking me but you are welcome ��
Hammer you are very welcome although I don't know why you are thanking me but you are welcome ��
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Originally Posted by Butterfly 
Hammer you are very welcome although I don't know why you are thanking me but you are welcome ��
See, I can see that our kids are and have been harmed by Mrs. Hammer's nutty behaviors.
But it is sort of like Cancer, or something. Probably worse, now I am messing with Cancer survivors. You cannot just go hack-attacking things apart sometimes. Like the Cure is sometimes worse than the problem.
So on here -- SR -- we have some folks who pretty much set themselves and the house on fire in Self-Inflicted Drama-Trauma attacks, and other folks -- like us -- who are too slow, too passive. It is a hard balance.
Just thanking you for open and honest assessment . . .
and hell, I dunno. But Thank You.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Well Butterfly, you have the chance now to show them how a strong, aware woman behaves, and it will be noticed.
You are embarking on a new phase of your life and setting them a living example. I don't mean you are perfect as even the best of us struggle at times, but you can show them how to be resilient.
You are embarking on a new phase of your life and setting them a living example. I don't mean you are perfect as even the best of us struggle at times, but you can show them how to be resilient.
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