TryingToLearn

Don't know if this is the right forum but I'm wondering about the progression of alcoholism. My H drinks 6 or 7 beers a night with a few shots of whiskey and then a bottle of wine (small bottle). Been going on for years and that's not including what he drinks during the day. Most nights, he just falls asleep and will wake up and not know where he is or what time it is and is just totally disoriented.

Last night was different and he said he was dizzy and that the alcohol hit him hard. I offered to take him to the ER but of course he said no and he's back to normal this morning.

I don't know if there are places I can read more about alcoholism and the stages or if this is just common sometimes?

He refuses to talk about it.

Thank you for your input and help.

NerdlyBeauty

Tryingtolearn, welcome! You should read all of the stickies here, and as many posts as you can. Go to Alanon and open AA meetings. The great and powerful interwebs has a ton of info.

IMHO, sounds like hubby is a classic A.

airwick

I had almost the same thing with my husband of 13 years. He had to get help, I couldn't do it for him, that's what I was told. When I was told that, I felt helpless and a bit ticked. People were telling me not to help. Not help my husband? I couldn't do that.

Then I realized, not helping is helping.

They (both my X and your husband) are big boys, as much as we want to help---they have to figure it out for themselves

TryingToLearn

Thank you both. Wondering about the blackouts as the disease progresses and what that means for my personal safety during the blackouts and if having a dizzy spell meant there was a new component to this stage. It's very unsettling when someone doesn't know where they are or what time of day it is or remember just what they had done before they fell asleep or passed out. I'm calling it a blackout but I could be wrong about that too.

Thanks so much for all your help.

lillamy

Welcome -- like NerdlyBeauty said, there are a lot of stickied posts at the top of the forum that can teach you a lot about alcoholism. Not only what it does to the alcoholic, but also what it does to the people who live with them.

What I do know is that alcoholics tend to get a higher and higher tolerance, and need to consume more and more alcohol in order to get the effect they want. A friend in law enforcement once told me that he has stopped and breathalyzed alcoholics in traffic who had a blood alcohol content that was so high they really should be either unconscious or dead.

I also know from my own experience that along with heavier drinking comes bigger problems, bigger screw-ups, more run-ins with the law, and more unacceptable behavior at home.

I'm glad you're here. This is a good place for learning.

lillamy

We posted at the same time -- yes, blackouts can be dangerous to you. My ex claims he doesn't remember threatening me or physically attacking one of our kids. He was shocked and didn't believe me, said "you know me; I would never do something like that."

And yet, he did.

maia1234

TTL- Good for you for reaching out and trying to understand this horrible disease. Yes, like above you an not help an A. They have to only want it for themselves. Alanon meetings, open AA meetings, and all the forums on SR are a great way for you to learn about the disease.

What you will find, is to make yourself healthy, is the best thing you can do for him. By not enabling him or feeling sorry for is unacceptable behavior are a few of those things.

Stay tuned and things will get better, for you!!

FireSprite

Although not exactly what you're asking, here are some recent threads that talk about this topic in case you didn't catch them the first time around:


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-sobriety.html


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...alcoholic.html


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...bstinence.html

I would guess your husband's symptoms are very possibly related to his drinking. About a month before he got sober, my AH was hospitalized for severe abdominal cramping/blockages/whatever. There was no real diagnosis because it was really due to his hidden abuse of alcohol. I've never been so embarrassed at his behavior (toward his caregivers) as I was that day - nasty, demanding, obnoxious. Nothing like I'd ever seen of him & I initially chalked it up to the pain.

The ER staff had his number from the beginning though - they pumped him full of dilaudid, he calmed down & shut the H up. At the time I thought it was some freak incident & worried that they were overmedicating him, ha! After I joined here & learned better I put 2+2 together, it was ALL alcohol related & the longer he was sitting there untreated, the farther he was getting into initial detox because he'd miss his next "doses" of alcohol.

dandylion

TryingToLearn....I, personally, am all for educating yourself. Knowledge is power.
You might want to begin with "under The Influence"....and, a simple google search for "Stages of Alcoholism" should turn up lots of informative web sites.
As NerdlyBeauty mentioned, you can drop in on OPEN AA meetings...and just look and listen. You will learn a lot by that.
Just look up schedule of AA meetings in your area...and, select the ones that are labeled OPEN. No one will question you..and, you don't have to talk.

There is just as much to learn about what the family members go through. The disease affects every single person in the family. You might want to start with "Co-dependent No More". You can get that at the library or used, very cheaply, on Amazon,com.

The stickies, that have been recommended is like a crash course in alcoholism...LOL!

dandylion