walkinganewpath

I did a sort of harsh emotional dump on AH via text last night - he is in FL dealing with some cardiac issues his dad is having. His reply was Ok goodnight.

I apologized (text - before kids left in case he wanted to talk to them) in the morning for using a text to harshly dump my feelings like that - told was not cool of me to do like that. Did not apologize for what I said - just how I said it/delivered it. He said have the kids call him from the car. He was on his way out, talked to them and told them to tell me he'd call me later...6 hours ago.

I did talk to his dad who dialed the house phone by mistake. He said AH lost his wallet the past two days. Had called and said he drove through McD's and had to go back to the house....drinking/hangover red flag.

He said he'd call me. It's been a long time since he hasn't called me unless he was out getting in trouble - which isn't the case today. He just doesn't want to talk to me and I think that letting him call when he is ready is staying on my own street. It's not my issues to force???
I've been married for 25 years and am 47. Together for 30 - do the math...I don't know much else. They dynamics of our relationship and his maturity sometimes still resemble the 90's - lol.

So...do I give him some space and let him call when he's ready? And in turn be giving myself and the kids some space from the roller coaster ride?
If I had some type of emergency I'd obviously call and I'm sure he'll call within the next day with an update on his dad. And if not well then...that's past today so no worries for now.

lillamy

Yep. Let him call when he's ready. That's what I would do.

But if you're anything like I was when I was married to an A, you've probably got a pit in your stomach and you're so worried about what state of mind he's going to be in when he DOES call you that you'd rather call him now and get it over with? Am I close?

If you are able to, I think giving yourself and the kids a break is a brilliant idea.

redatlanta

I'd just give him some space.

Having two very sick parents the past 18 months it is very stressful to deal with - I imagine it must be something a bit worrisome if he travelled to be with his dad. May not be the best time to address other issues.

He will call I am sure sooner or later.

walkinganewpath

Thanks amy and red. Since backing off was what I thought I should do I'm glad to see that some of the right things are sinking in my head.

Kids and I have a busy night. Scouts, basketball and my mom's furnace broke today. Gas company has been there for 4 hours now. She has MS and is in a wheelchair so I have to go over there to see where they are at and make a plan. Probably best.

walkinganewpath

yup...you nailed it

hopeful4

I completely understand, but I agree with what you are doing. Keep the focus on you and your kids. I hope they get your momma taken care of!

Tight hugs!