FlippedRHalo

Can anyone tell me the difference between a beginner alanon meeting vs. a regular meeting?

I've done a regular meeting, and because I hate getting emotional in front of other people, it was really hard to convince myself to go. The members were beyond fantastic and so, so, so caring, understanding and supportive (which made me want to cry more!) at that meeting and I think I'll continue with that particular one, but I'm interested in maybe trying this beginner one as well. I think I may need more than one a week at this critical point.

I keep thinking I'm doing ok and working toward getting past it all, but then I get slammed with a day like today where I've been an emotionally sobbing disaster for most of the day. I get so upset, anxious, angry and frustrated because I want to be over this yesterday. I can't take the up and down yo-yo of emotions. It's making this so much harder to feel ok one day only to feel like I got kicked in the gut the next day. I'm having more better days than bad days, but God this is just really tough.

My daughter's father (my ex-husband) said something that REALLY triggered me today and what does my brain automatically default to??? "Ex Alcoholic fiance wouldn't have done that. As messed up and as much of an alcoholic as he was, he would have never said that to me." I want to punch myself. How can I even go there?! This healing process is SOO frustrating!

So anyway, if anyone has any experience with beginner meetings, I'd greatly appreciate hearing about it. As much as I want to believe I'm getting through this, I realize that I'm going to need some outside help along this horrible journey.

It's amazing how time passes and you can so clearly remember the good, the wonderful times, those shared special moments, etc... and the bad starts to slowly fade from your mind.

What a tough day it's been. :/ Way too emotional today.

ladyscribbler

Our local newcomer meeting focuses exclusively on the first three steps. Other meetings have different discussion topics every week. Otherwise the format is the same.
Alanon has been a tremendous resource for my recovery. I attend two meetings a week. SR is great, but not a substitute for the real world support I get at my Alanon meetings.

honeypig

Beginner meetings in my area run on a rotating 6-week schedule w/different aspects of Alanon covered in each one. The one I attended (did not go to all 6, only about 2) had 2 veteran Alanoners chairing the meeting and then a handful of newbies. That format allowed people the time for personalized questions and chat that wouldn't work in at a regular meeting.

I think it's a good idea for you to go--you'll know whether it's for you or whether you should just find another "regular" meeting.

I attended more than one meeting a week in the early days, and I still go more than once a week if I feel like I need it.

walkinganewpath

My Friday meeting has a "newcomers" meeting that starts an hour before the regular meeting. I don't think it is what is termed a 'beginners' meeting but it is for new people to the group to explain how things work and give them a little bit more private/personal one on one support. I went to the early newcomers meeting the first time but after that felt totally embraced by everyone in the group and just kept going at the regular meeting time.

And honestly I'm the one that the tissue box gets put in front of - with hugs and support - and yes this is even a group that laughs and jokes. Just remember you don't have to 'share' at every meeting. Often just listening and taking notes on what is talked about is so helpful for me. As well as the after the meeting face to face with people who come up to give hugs, offer support and phone numbers, etc.

If you've found a supportive group just keep going. Even just listening and feeling the support from others will help you get on that recovery path. I have only just started step work on my own and even though I am thinking about a sponsor I haven't figured that out yet. That said in the past three months Alanon has helped me and my family so much.

HollyC88

I went to a beginners meeting tonight and it was a half hour before the meeting. The group leaders all told me their story and i got mine out. Yes lots of sobbing but tons of support and hugs

LexieCat

There's no set format for a "beginner's meeting"--each group would make a decision whether to have one, and what format it should have. Some are separate meetings, some are before/after the "main" meeting.

I think they are a good idea, especially since they can be less formal and sort of explain what Al-Anon is and what to expect at the regular meetings. Most people only attend a "beginner's meeting" for the first month or two, unless they have been in Al-Anon long enough, themselves, to lead the meeting for the beginners.