reasons
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Toronto
Posts: 11
reasons
First and foremost i'd like to thank you all for great support since i've started posting. Even just reading other posts helps.
I'm still struggling though...its been 3 weeks now that i found out that my Alcholic boyfriend (ex now) had been cheating on me. I still am feeling hurt...sad ...angry and i miss him for some stupid reason. I am right now having the biggest urge to call him. I know its a bad idea but i miss him so much. I haven't from him since i found out the great news about cheating. I'm trying to get through this and trying to move on but its so hard. Please remind me why i shoudn't call him.....
I'm still struggling though...its been 3 weeks now that i found out that my Alcholic boyfriend (ex now) had been cheating on me. I still am feeling hurt...sad ...angry and i miss him for some stupid reason. I am right now having the biggest urge to call him. I know its a bad idea but i miss him so much. I haven't from him since i found out the great news about cheating. I'm trying to get through this and trying to move on but its so hard. Please remind me why i shoudn't call him.....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Mt Pleasant SC
Posts: 9
Sunshine,
It always hurts when you find out someone you love is cheating on you. Calling him is not going to take back what he has already done. I have been hurt before by someone who has cheated and believe me it does pass.
I have always been firm with anyone who cheats. No second chance. That is just me. It is my experience that things happen for a reason.
I think just keeping yourself busy, watch some funny movies, eat some great food, listen to the song "I will Survive" . Be with friends who will keep you positive. I wouldn't recommend looking for anyone to fill the void you have. Work on yourself and your pain. Move on and cut your losses.
Take Care,
Pam
It always hurts when you find out someone you love is cheating on you. Calling him is not going to take back what he has already done. I have been hurt before by someone who has cheated and believe me it does pass.
I have always been firm with anyone who cheats. No second chance. That is just me. It is my experience that things happen for a reason.
I think just keeping yourself busy, watch some funny movies, eat some great food, listen to the song "I will Survive" . Be with friends who will keep you positive. I wouldn't recommend looking for anyone to fill the void you have. Work on yourself and your pain. Move on and cut your losses.
Take Care,
Pam
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Oregon
Posts: 80
Hi Sunshine,
Wow, now this is something I understand well and I know how much it hurts. If you would have asked me 5 years ago if I ever would have accepted this sort of behavior from someone I loved and shared a bed with, I would have said a loud NO WAY.
I'm not with him now, but I'll be the first to tell you, if he were to call me today, it would be difficult to say go away, even with all that I've learned and the sanity I've found in the last 3 weeks. I know that I am not well yet and that makes communication with him very dangerous for me.
Logically, I know I don't want that choas in my life but I also know I still love him very much and care for him. I also know that he will do the same things he's done in the past to me again and again, not because he's a mean terrible person but because he's ill and not working on his issues and I'm ill and still working on mine.
It's so hard to do the right thing when your head says one thing and your heart is screaming something else.
Every time I get the urge to call, email or whatever... I remind myself of what a friend of mine said to me when I was telling her my crazy story. Do you want to live like this for the next 30 years of your life?
My answer was no, I want to get off the rollercoaster and fix myself. Do something to distract yourself through the toughest moments and then I really recommend getting to a meeting if you haven't been to one already. For me it just reinforced how deeply broken I was and made me want to heal.
Hang in there! hugs!
Marci
Wow, now this is something I understand well and I know how much it hurts. If you would have asked me 5 years ago if I ever would have accepted this sort of behavior from someone I loved and shared a bed with, I would have said a loud NO WAY.
I'm not with him now, but I'll be the first to tell you, if he were to call me today, it would be difficult to say go away, even with all that I've learned and the sanity I've found in the last 3 weeks. I know that I am not well yet and that makes communication with him very dangerous for me.
Logically, I know I don't want that choas in my life but I also know I still love him very much and care for him. I also know that he will do the same things he's done in the past to me again and again, not because he's a mean terrible person but because he's ill and not working on his issues and I'm ill and still working on mine.
It's so hard to do the right thing when your head says one thing and your heart is screaming something else.
Every time I get the urge to call, email or whatever... I remind myself of what a friend of mine said to me when I was telling her my crazy story. Do you want to live like this for the next 30 years of your life?
My answer was no, I want to get off the rollercoaster and fix myself. Do something to distract yourself through the toughest moments and then I really recommend getting to a meeting if you haven't been to one already. For me it just reinforced how deeply broken I was and made me want to heal.
Hang in there! hugs!
Marci
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