"Dont Get Fooled Again" Red Flags of Narcissist Relationships
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"Dont Get Fooled Again" Red Flags of Narcissist Relationships
I just watched this video:
"Dont Get Fooled Again" Red Flags of Narcissist Relationships
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YUkv86n1Hc
I found it helpful. I have noticed that a lot of addicts also have narcissistic behaviors. I did not recognize many red flags with my ex, and i have a fear of repeating that mistake.
"Dont Get Fooled Again" Red Flags of Narcissist Relationships
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YUkv86n1Hc
I found it helpful. I have noticed that a lot of addicts also have narcissistic behaviors. I did not recognize many red flags with my ex, and i have a fear of repeating that mistake.
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Just remember that alcoholism does not cause narcissism and a lot if not all of those symptoms will go away if the person quits.
True narcissism is a personality disorder in which a person is completely incapable of feeling empathy or seeing people as anything more than an extension of themselves
True narcissism is a personality disorder in which a person is completely incapable of feeling empathy or seeing people as anything more than an extension of themselves
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Maybe it's just me, but I have problems taking a "life coach" seriously who records his videos while wearing a "wife beater." Doesn't the guy own a suit, or at least a sweater or a polo shirt?
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Originally Posted by Shutterbug1 
I just watched this video:
"Dont Get Fooled Again" Red Flags of Narcissist Relationships
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YUkv86n1Hc
I found it helpful. I have noticed that a lot of addicts also have narcissistic behaviors. I did not recognize many red flags with my ex, and i have a fear of repeating that mistake.
"Dont Get Fooled Again" Red Flags of Narcissist Relationships
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YUkv86n1Hc
I found it helpful. I have noticed that a lot of addicts also have narcissistic behaviors. I did not recognize many red flags with my ex, and i have a fear of repeating that mistake.
Sort of like a "bad neighborhood" thing.
Aint going there again.
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Narcissis fell in love with his own image.
Although narcissists and alcoholics share some traits....
It is impossible to be in Love with yourself and slowly killing yourself at the same time.
The two are base level incompatible.
Narcissism is off the charts self esteem, to the point of being very unhealthy.
Alcoholism is quite the opposite.... Self esteem so low that drinks are needed to function in "normal " social settings.
Ever wondered why alcoholics have a few drinks before going to a social occasion? Even if there is more drink on offer once you actually get there.
A narcissist wouldn't need a drink, they already feel superior to everyone at the party, so why would they?
The alcoholic feels inadequate and inferior to everyone at the party... Hence the need for a few drinks.
Once the drinks take effect, the alcoholic and the narcissist are probably on an even footing.
Difference is its the "booze talking " for the alcoholic.
Although narcissists and alcoholics share some traits....
It is impossible to be in Love with yourself and slowly killing yourself at the same time.
The two are base level incompatible.
Narcissism is off the charts self esteem, to the point of being very unhealthy.
Alcoholism is quite the opposite.... Self esteem so low that drinks are needed to function in "normal " social settings.
Ever wondered why alcoholics have a few drinks before going to a social occasion? Even if there is more drink on offer once you actually get there.
A narcissist wouldn't need a drink, they already feel superior to everyone at the party, so why would they?
The alcoholic feels inadequate and inferior to everyone at the party... Hence the need for a few drinks.
Once the drinks take effect, the alcoholic and the narcissist are probably on an even footing.
Difference is its the "booze talking " for the alcoholic.
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This video was helpful to me, I tend to give importance to ideas first and foremost, not individual personalities...... at this point whatever helps is OK, I don't care if someone is dressed as a clown!!
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O.K. Guys...this is what happened with the man in the video..
He actually lives in Baton Rouge, LA, and was taking a post graduate course in the use of media. One of the required projects, which was 1/3 of his final grade, was to produce a presentation for u-tube.
On the day that he was to present....it temperature was about 112F and the humidity was close to 100%....and the small room for the students to make the presentation in was temporarily without air-conditioning--due to overload.
As would have it...he was wearing a thin cotton button-down (specifically for the broadcast) and a tank underneath (fo r the ride home after class).
Now, the instructor told the students that they could come back the next tuesday and do their project if they wanted or "tough" it out today---their preference.
The make-up day was on the day that he and his wife were to take their new baby to his first pediatrician appointment...and he promised that he would be there.
And...there was only one week left before end of the course. He was up against the wall....so, he opted for the choice of "toughing it out". By this time he was also sweating l ike a pig.
The camera-man suggested that he remove the outer shirt to give him a bit more cooling. So, he did. And that is how he happened to be on-camera in a tank top.
If you wonder how I know so much about this guy.....well, I don't. BUT IT EASILY COULD HAVE HAPPENED THAT WAY!
I made up this colossal lie in order to make the point that we can make mistakes in judging a person soley by how they are dressed.
dandylion
***for those who are annoyed at me for my little trick.....sue me....
He actually lives in Baton Rouge, LA, and was taking a post graduate course in the use of media. One of the required projects, which was 1/3 of his final grade, was to produce a presentation for u-tube.
On the day that he was to present....it temperature was about 112F and the humidity was close to 100%....and the small room for the students to make the presentation in was temporarily without air-conditioning--due to overload.
As would have it...he was wearing a thin cotton button-down (specifically for the broadcast) and a tank underneath (fo r the ride home after class).
Now, the instructor told the students that they could come back the next tuesday and do their project if they wanted or "tough" it out today---their preference.
The make-up day was on the day that he and his wife were to take their new baby to his first pediatrician appointment...and he promised that he would be there.
And...there was only one week left before end of the course. He was up against the wall....so, he opted for the choice of "toughing it out". By this time he was also sweating l ike a pig.
The camera-man suggested that he remove the outer shirt to give him a bit more cooling. So, he did. And that is how he happened to be on-camera in a tank top.
If you wonder how I know so much about this guy.....well, I don't. BUT IT EASILY COULD HAVE HAPPENED THAT WAY!
I made up this colossal lie in order to make the point that we can make mistakes in judging a person soley by how they are dressed.
dandylion
***for those who are annoyed at me for my little trick.....sue me....
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I googled, and wasn't impressed. Guy has a BS in psych and hung out a shingle. Took a few courses, cobbled together a philosophy based on several different ones, and now takes on clients. My own guess is that he's dressed that way to look like a "coach" in the "personal trainer" (exercise) sense of the word.
Anybody can call him/herself a "life coach." No qualifications required.
There are people out there with actual post-graduate degrees who have studied and/or have clinical experience to support what they say, write, or educate about. I trust what people like Evan Stark or Lundy Bancroft say about abusers, for example, because they have studied it extensively and have worked in the field for a long time. I also trust the experiences of victims of abuse, because they have lived it. I trust the collective experiences of alcoholics in AA, but not individual ones unless I've come to know them, and I still wouldn't trust their pronouncements on psychological/medical issues unless they had professional training.
This guy has no experience or credible training, from what I've seen, that would make me trust him, that's all. The same would be true if he had been wearing a nice casual outfit or a suit, too, but I wouldn't have had the same initial gut feeling that he's an amateur guru.
And dandy, I'm not making a judgment of him "as a person" by how he's dressed, I'm making a judgment of him as a LIFE COACH based on how he's dressed. It doesn't speak well for his judgment, IMO. I hope he doesn't suggest people applying for a job dress that way for an interview. And if it's a gimmick, it fell flat for me.
Anybody can call him/herself a "life coach." No qualifications required.
There are people out there with actual post-graduate degrees who have studied and/or have clinical experience to support what they say, write, or educate about. I trust what people like Evan Stark or Lundy Bancroft say about abusers, for example, because they have studied it extensively and have worked in the field for a long time. I also trust the experiences of victims of abuse, because they have lived it. I trust the collective experiences of alcoholics in AA, but not individual ones unless I've come to know them, and I still wouldn't trust their pronouncements on psychological/medical issues unless they had professional training.
This guy has no experience or credible training, from what I've seen, that would make me trust him, that's all. The same would be true if he had been wearing a nice casual outfit or a suit, too, but I wouldn't have had the same initial gut feeling that he's an amateur guru.
And dandy, I'm not making a judgment of him "as a person" by how he's dressed, I'm making a judgment of him as a LIFE COACH based on how he's dressed. It doesn't speak well for his judgment, IMO. I hope he doesn't suggest people applying for a job dress that way for an interview. And if it's a gimmick, it fell flat for me.
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Oh, but the best part of the video? George W. Bush: "There's an old saying in Tennessee, I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee, that says, 'Fool me once, shame on, shame on you [as you can see him struggling to remember the old Tennessee/Texas saying], uh, fool me, can't get fooled again.' "
Attaboy, Dubbya.
Attaboy, Dubbya.
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Personally, I prefer my Life Coaches to be completely naked.
As far as I can tell he was just reading some basic fact. Although I will admit I don't know much about NPD, it didn't seem like he was saying anything overly controversial. Was he? I don't really see that he was doing a lot of "coaching" so maybe he should change his title to "Life Reader", but he seemed to be imparting some useful info. And if his lovely pecks kept a few needful people watching then I say no harm no foul.
As far as I can tell he was just reading some basic fact. Although I will admit I don't know much about NPD, it didn't seem like he was saying anything overly controversial. Was he? I don't really see that he was doing a lot of "coaching" so maybe he should change his title to "Life Reader", but he seemed to be imparting some useful info. And if his lovely pecks kept a few needful people watching then I say no harm no foul.
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LOL, hey, SK, whatever floats your boat!
I was just explaining why he turned ME off. Some people just have that effect on me--he irritated the crap out of me. But then, I don't have to watch him if I don't like him.
I was just explaining why he turned ME off. Some people just have that effect on me--he irritated the crap out of me. But then, I don't have to watch him if I don't like him.
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I like what Hawks said. My AH has some narcissistic traits, but I think the narcissism is a mask for his low self-esteem.
Wow. I always thought that was so strange--the whole "pre-gaming" thing. He was two hours late for our first date.. because he was in a bar. When I think back, that was the very first red flag, but I was so needy, I didn't care what time the guy showed up! If I had an ounce of self-esteem myself, I would have said, "take a hike, buddy, I have no use for someone who can't simply show up."
The water level in our relationship has been our mutual low self-esteem and therein lies the problem.
Ever wondered why alcoholics have a few drinks before going to a social occasion? Even if there is more drink on offer once you actually get there.
The water level in our relationship has been our mutual low self-esteem and therein lies the problem.
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Originally Posted by Hawks
Narcissis fell in love with his own image.
Although narcissists and alcoholics share some traits....
It is impossible to be in Love with yourself and slowly killing yourself at the same time.
The two are base level incompatible.
Narcissism is off the charts self esteem, to the point of being very unhealthy.
Alcoholism is quite the opposite.... Self esteem so low that drinks are needed to function in "normal " social settings.
Ever wondered why alcoholics have a few drinks before going to a social occasion? Even if there is more drink on offer once you actually get there.
A narcissist wouldn't need a drink, they already feel superior to everyone at the party, so why would they?
The alcoholic feels inadequate and inferior to everyone at the party... Hence the need for a few drinks.
Once the drinks take effect, the alcoholic and the narcissist are probably on an even footing.
Difference is its the "booze talking " for the alcoholic.
Although narcissists and alcoholics share some traits....
It is impossible to be in Love with yourself and slowly killing yourself at the same time.
The two are base level incompatible.
Narcissism is off the charts self esteem, to the point of being very unhealthy.
Alcoholism is quite the opposite.... Self esteem so low that drinks are needed to function in "normal " social settings.
Ever wondered why alcoholics have a few drinks before going to a social occasion? Even if there is more drink on offer once you actually get there.
A narcissist wouldn't need a drink, they already feel superior to everyone at the party, so why would they?
The alcoholic feels inadequate and inferior to everyone at the party... Hence the need for a few drinks.
Once the drinks take effect, the alcoholic and the narcissist are probably on an even footing.
Difference is its the "booze talking " for the alcoholic.
The thing that puzzles me is the arrogance and sense of entitlement which seems to contradict self esteem issues. The sense of entitlement seems to feed anger because they blow up if things do not go as they wanted.
I will say the person is extremely image & protocol conscious wanting every business or social encounter to be perfect. When he was job hunting he was more worried about getting a second suit for any follow up interviews saying you should never wear the same clothes two days in a row in a business setting. The resume and continuing education took a big back seat but the need for new attire was/is always front and center.
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Originally Posted by thequest
The thing that puzzles me is the arrogance and sense of entitlement which seems to contradict self esteem issues. The sense of entitlement seems to feed anger because they blow up if things do not go as they wanted.
.
.
That whole little world of his revolves around him.
And he has hung onto it all through years of money, partying, access to any drug he would want, he could buy
His own brewery or distillery if he wanted, but because he truly loves himself and truly believes he deserves all he has, he still has it.
If an alcoholic managed to grab all that somehow, the "lifestyle" would have taken him down within a decade tops. And at the very core of it all would be an unconscious "need" to pull it all down on his own head. Because deep down he wouldn't have believed he was "worthy"
Sorry for the crappy example in a forum full of women, but Hugh was the only one I could come up with in the 5 minutes it took me to type that.
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I dunno, nothing I've read indicates to me that Hugh Hefner is a narcissist. Big ego, lots of money? Sure. I've never heard that he's a drug addict--in fact, he has a strict no-drug policy at his properties.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a pretty serious thing, and I don't think we should be throwing it around lightly.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a pretty serious thing, and I don't think we should be throwing it around lightly.
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