dandylion

Thanks to 53500, I have just discovered that we have a marijuana forum on SR!! (new).

I am seeing some very interesting (and informative) discussions on there!

Just wanted to share this with anyone else who may be interested.

dandylion

freetosmile

Just breath:
I hear you on the weed thing. My A will lay off booze and just smoke and I think I am in heaven...how lame is that!? As much as I can agree with where you are coming from, let's face it girlie- these people are right. Sober is not switching one drug for another and while we can argue about whether or not weed is truly a drug, the point is that 24/7 stonage is abusing (in the event that we are going to call weed medicine, which I believe it can be) that as well. Hugs!

53500

Like JB, I am also in California and "medical" marijuana is widely abused. Anyone can get a prescription. If you say you broke a nail you get a prescription. Okay maybe that is exaggerated but not by much.

JB, I do not mean to minimize your husband's issues or legitimate uses of pot for medicine. But staying stoned on pot 24/7 isn't something any real doctor advises.

I do agree it's preferable to him being drunk and raging but I don't think this solution will last.

Refiner

If he can smoke so much weed and still be able to highly function at a job (being high while working), he must be in a job where he doesn't have to use his mind much.

lillamy

Politician?

(sorry, I had to)

Soberintexas007

Thank you for understanding where I am coming from. When my husband in the past has not smoked weed for a few hours because of a medical appointment, etc., the anger that he has left untreated comes back and the verbal abuse ensues. Once he smokes again, he is calm again. So, If I am choosing to continue being in a relationship with him, why wouldn't I want him to smoke weed if it keeps me safe and sane, since he is unwilling to treat his issues if he gave it up (to which I would then support his abstinence from weed because he is replacing it with therapy or a program). Someone on here said they felt sort of sorry for my husband since I support his weed smoking. The true victim is me - as I have a husband who is not willing to seek treatment for his anger if he ever did choose to stop smoking weed, which then puts me at risk. If he decided to give up weed and also was willing to seek treatment for his issues AND I STILL SUPPORTED HIS WEED SMOKING, then yes, I can see someone feeling sorry for him, but that is not the case.

And I do agree that my husband has switched addictions and it probably is not good that he is smoking weed 24/7 (most doctors suggest smoking it at the end of the day). But my point is that I am going to keep things status quo at the moment since this addiction switch is not causing me emotional or physical pain.

Soberintexas007

Thank you for understanding that this solution is preferable to him drinking and raging, putting my life possibly at risk. That is also what I am saying. I agree that this is not the best solution, but my husband is unwilling to seek counseling, treatment, AA, etc. So until this solution does not work anymore, I am going to enjoy the calm that I am experiencing with my recalibrated mood and energy levels.

Soberintexas007

I asked him about this last night, as I was curious as well. Without going into specifically what he does for confidentiality reasons, his job is pretty much manual labor, so he does not have to use his mind much.

I asked him how he functions at work high, as other people have told me that they are unable to smoke before work and function. He told me that he limits how much he smokes at work so that he can still perform his job. So I am assuming that means he gets high, but not a debilitating high. By the way, his work loves him and he does very well (has been promoted and seeking another promotion). And I can understand why everyone loves him at work....WHY? Because HE NEVER DRANK AT WORK. By the way, he told me that his supervisors know about his recommendation and that he smokes weed. It is the type of job in which they won't care until your productivity is affected. Remember, we also live in liberal CA.

Then he comes home and we have dinner together, he smokes his weed, we watch a movie together, we talk, and then we go to bed and all is well. No raging or unnecessary crises develop because he has not been drinking. Now, when he drank, his personality would change, he would become belligerent, and I did not enjoy him. So, even though this weed smoking is not the best solution, I am praying it works for as long as possible for my sake!!!

My fear is that eventually he will get tired of the weed high and seek a different, alcohol high.

By the way, because of a medical condition from birth with his intestines, my husband is unable to gain weight. So he gets the munchies and is able to eat ALL NIGHT without gaining a pound. I know that when I smoked weed, weight gain was one of the primary reasons why I did not like this drug.

To sum all this up:
(1) THE DRUG ALCOHOL MADE MY HUSBAND ANGRY (RELATIONSHIP IMPOSSIBLE)
(2) THE DRUG THC DOES NOT MAKE MY HUSBAND ANGRY (RELATIONSHIP POSSIBLE)

freetosmile

[QUOTE=Justbreathe1980;5059162] his job is pretty much manual labor, so he does not have to use his mind much.


I'm sorry, but that just made me laugh!!! We worry about our A's having to use their minds!!! he he... good giggle!

dandylion

JustBreathe....I understand your position on this...and, I think many others, on this thread do, also. It has been very thouroughly discussed...LOL!
My concern is you.....

As I said in a previous post....keep your eyes on your own goal. Keep working n your own sobriety and keep up your alanon efforts...because these are for YOU.
This is your window of opportunity for self reflection and for preparing yourself for whatever may lie, for you, in the future.
This is where your efforts will have the greatest lasting value.

These discussions about marijuana will go on forever...LOL!

I believe that you know that this is a temporary calm in the "storm"...as you indicate i n your posts. Take advantage of that...as you indicate that you are....and continue (quietly) continue to "circle your wagons"....

dandylion

happybeingme

I really do hope it works permenantly for him though I doubt it. I also hope he doesnt get hurt or hurt someone else at work. Doctor recommended wont prevent him from being fired for working under the influence

Kboys

Hi Justbreathe- Just wanted to say I hope your weekend continues to be peaceful
I'm totally with you. Just learning that my AH's great moods and newfound patience are mostly (maybe completely) due to his marijuana use. I knew to some degree before, but am just now realizing how much and how often he actually is smoking.
Sure is a change from the nasty drunk he was just a short while ago, and it really is nice....
I know he can't keep smoking forever, and I don't want to encourage it, but... at least for now things are good, and it's giving me time to take care of myself while I'm not in the middle of all the chaos.
HUGS

torquemax777

I was just curious; please don't take this as I'm siding with marijuana use or not: I'm just wondering if people take anti anxiety/depressants and bipolar meds as well as diabetic, blood pressure, ect... Several times a day for the rest of their lives, why couldn't marijuana be one of those drugs? Not trying to get bashed here, just wondering as Librium, Prozac, all those are "mind altering" drugs that work to modify behaviors to a tolerable degree, why can't marijuana be included amongst them?

LexieCat

Most alcoholics I know who switch to marijuana to cope still go back to drinking sooner or later.

dandylion

torquemaxx777....this is just a suggestion, on my part. I think you ask a very valid and interesting question...and, worthy of a lot of discussion, myself.
There is a new forum on marijuana addiction under the drug addiction section of the home page. (I just discovered it, myself, today). There are some very interesting conversations going on over there on this very kind of subject....
If you also put this thread in that section....I think you will get some very in-depth responses..

dandylion

Soberintexas007

I have thought the same thing.

Soberintexas007

Yes, I would agree. I think my husband still misses alcohol, and his use of marijuana keeps the cycle going of addiction, just in a different, less angry and rageful way.

shil2587

I respectfully disagree. No person outside of ourselves can take away our inner peace, but can choose to surrender it. We can also choose to take it back and focus on other things. Whether he picks up again or not (and let's face it, he almost certainly will), you don't have to go up and down emotionally with him.

Soberintexas007

Yes, and this will be the challenge for me.