Out of State rehab?
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
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Out of State rehab?
We have been dealing with my 19 year old daughters heroin addiction for two years now. When it all began my insurance made an exception and paid for a 30 day stay at a wonderful youth rehab facility in Yakima wa. We have Blue Cross insurance and they don't pay for residential, only for detox, so it was wonderful they agreed to pay for it. We had a good year after that and then she began using again. She went through detox again and Blue Cross made an exception once again for rehab, but after one day in the adult portion (which she begged to be in) she left treatment and hopped on a greyhound bus back home to Seattle. During all of this she pawned everything she could get her hands on, sold my jewelry etc. we have gone through seriously maybe 5 more detoxes as of now. In, out, using, a cycle. I forgot to mention that in there somewhere she took the naltrexone shot which worked great until her "sober friends" told her it was a bandaid so she went off it. It has cost us $875 co pay for each detox and we are flat broke. She's been calling around for another detox and has found a broker or something who is telling us we can send her to Spencer Recovery Center in Palm Springs. He says the detox potion would cost us an $875 co pay and the rehab portion would be $1500 out of pocket. He said the use blue cross somehow but get paid with whatever blue cross would pay. It seems weird because I know blue cross doesn't pay residential. We don't have the 3k to make this happen. The best I can offer her is one more detox and sober living housing here in washington. Is there any more I can do? Please help me with any thoughts you might have.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Gulf Coast
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Have you tried googling for a state funded facility? I would look up substance abuse and start calling and explaining the situation. When my RAH was going in for detox, we were not sure if his insurance would pay for the treatment or not. One of the centers I contacted told me that there were state funded programs available. Luckily, his insurance did pay. I know that things work different in each state but don't give up.
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Originally Posted by Bamawife 
Have you tried googling for a state funded facility? I would look up substance abuse and start calling and explaining the situation. When my RAH was going in for detox, we were not sure if his insurance would pay for the treatment or not. One of the centers I contacted told me that there were state funded programs available. Luckily, his insurance did pay. I know that things work different in each state but don't give up.
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I hope you are getting help for the rest of the family. She is not the only one struggling right now and you continuing to send her to expensive centers that she gives up on is not the answer here.
She is an adult and needs to be held accountable, but more than that you need to get off the roller coaster for your own health and for her good. It doesn't help an addict to do for them what they can and should do for themselves.
Have you been to Nar Anon or Al Anon? I think you would benefit greatly.
She is an adult and needs to be held accountable, but more than that you need to get off the roller coaster for your own health and for her good. It doesn't help an addict to do for them what they can and should do for themselves.
Have you been to Nar Anon or Al Anon? I think you would benefit greatly.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Gulf Coast
Posts: 118
The "broker" deal sounds fishy to me. Just my opinion. I didn't know that rehabs had brokers. With that said, my RAH was in a hospital for detox and then a car was sent for him to drive him 6 hours away to another state for rehab. They had a driver bring him home after treatment as well.
Hopefully, someone else will come along with better advice.
Hopefully, someone else will come along with better advice.
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Originally Posted by Bamawife
The "broker" deal sounds fishy to me. Just my opinion. I didn't know that rehabs had brokers. With that said, my RAH was in a hospital for detox and then a car was sent for him to drive him 6 hours away to another state for rehab. They had a driver bring him home after treatment as well. Hopefully, someone else will come along with better advice.
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Originally Posted by biminiblue
I hope you are getting help for the rest of the family. She is not the only one struggling right now and you continuing to send her to expensive centers that she gives up on is not the answer here. She is an adult and needs to be held accountable, but more than that you need to get off the roller coaster for your own health and for her good. It doesn't help an addict to do for them what they can and should do for themselves. Have you been to Nar Anon or Al Anon? I think you would benefit greatly.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
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I am with bimi on this one.
Insurance or the lack of is NOT the problem here.
So how can we help *you?*
That is kind of what we do -- as far as Friends and Family . . . about the same as Alanon . . . we just help friends and family. We most often find the A's do not really want or need our "help" anyway. They are just fine, A-ing on their own.
You may likely find the Rehab or lack of is not the problem, either.
We sent Mrs. Hammer to Rehab at great family cost and she came back pretty much a compulsive liar dry drunk.
You doing Alanon, yet?
Insurance or the lack of is NOT the problem here.
So how can we help *you?*
That is kind of what we do -- as far as Friends and Family . . . about the same as Alanon . . . we just help friends and family. We most often find the A's do not really want or need our "help" anyway. They are just fine, A-ing on their own.
You may likely find the Rehab or lack of is not the problem, either.
We sent Mrs. Hammer to Rehab at great family cost and she came back pretty much a compulsive liar dry drunk.
You doing Alanon, yet?
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Join Date: Nov 2008
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Hi Jen,
Your adult daughter is making some poor choices for herself, and that is unfortunate. After 5 detoxes and a couple rehabs, why not let her figure it out herself? She is the captain of her own ship, ya know? I know it hurts to watch a loved one self destruct, but sometimes the most loving thing we can do is get out of her way to live her life as she sees fit. It might not be the life you want for her, but as an adult, it is her choice.
Hugs
Your adult daughter is making some poor choices for herself, and that is unfortunate. After 5 detoxes and a couple rehabs, why not let her figure it out herself? She is the captain of her own ship, ya know? I know it hurts to watch a loved one self destruct, but sometimes the most loving thing we can do is get out of her way to live her life as she sees fit. It might not be the life you want for her, but as an adult, it is her choice.
Hugs
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Posts: 31
My parents cut the cord and said, "You're dying, but we can't die with you".
Hardest thing in the world.
Only thing that knocked me straight.....i'm also still using and might die from heart failure....but I am not understanding my disease until now. I'm finally feeling it....not just reading words. I wish I could have better news. You also dont have long to wait with Heroin.
I'm a little older, but my parents pulled a restraining order and I know for a fact when they said they'd call the cops if I showed up, they meant it. I never stole anything, borrowed money, etc. I am self sufficient.
Hardest thing in the world.
Only thing that knocked me straight.....i'm also still using and might die from heart failure....but I am not understanding my disease until now. I'm finally feeling it....not just reading words. I wish I could have better news. You also dont have long to wait with Heroin.
I'm a little older, but my parents pulled a restraining order and I know for a fact when they said they'd call the cops if I showed up, they meant it. I never stole anything, borrowed money, etc. I am self sufficient.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Posts: 31
background on me.... 2 (35k rehabs), 10 detoxes, 15 sober livings....
writing to you from my hotel room trying to rent a house at the moment and see if I can get into a 2 week rehab covered by my insurance. There's only so many therapy sessions you can go to before you're like, "why is this not clicking"...
I was in santa monica, CA 2 months ago....relapsed bad....parents came picked up my dogs....tried giving me $100 until my new credit card was there...and I just refused it. They left.
I shelled out 7k, flew to NYC went to a sober living...got back here to phoenix a week ago....relapsed again. No one knows but as you can see...I'm on here looking for a solution because I have no where else to go.
writing to you from my hotel room trying to rent a house at the moment and see if I can get into a 2 week rehab covered by my insurance. There's only so many therapy sessions you can go to before you're like, "why is this not clicking"...
I was in santa monica, CA 2 months ago....relapsed bad....parents came picked up my dogs....tried giving me $100 until my new credit card was there...and I just refused it. They left.
I shelled out 7k, flew to NYC went to a sober living...got back here to phoenix a week ago....relapsed again. No one knows but as you can see...I'm on here looking for a solution because I have no where else to go.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
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Originally Posted by NeverEasyToBe
My parents cut the cord and said, "You're dying, but we can't die with you". Hardest thing in the world. Only thing that knocked me straight.....i'm also still using and might die from heart failure....but I am not understanding my disease until now. I'm finally feeling it....not just reading words. I wish I could have better news. You also dont have long to wait with Heroin. I'm a little older, but my parents pulled a restraining order and I know for a fact when they said they'd call the cops if I showed up, they meant it. I never stole anything, borrowed money, etc. I am self sufficient.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Posts: 31
The reason I am in this forum is because I'm trying to learn how my parents feel and the best course of action to respect their boundaries so that if I dont die...I can begin to build on relationship
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Hello,
My H went to out of state rehab. It was fine in itself, but they outright lied about hooking us up with local service when H finished. Drove me nuts. I concur that local options where the experts know the recovery resources alone is woth a few k.
Personally it sounds to me she should have enough tools in her toolbox to choose recovery if she was ready. Salvation Army?
My H went to out of state rehab. It was fine in itself, but they outright lied about hooking us up with local service when H finished. Drove me nuts. I concur that local options where the experts know the recovery resources alone is woth a few k.
Personally it sounds to me she should have enough tools in her toolbox to choose recovery if she was ready. Salvation Army?
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Posts: 31
There is a lot of corruption in the business. Sober livings and such...They will rob peter to pay paul.
I had lots of resentment too. I would go to sober livings and they were charging 5k per month...(this is my own money)... but if you attended their IOP they own....they'll only charge you 2500, and then bill the insurance company out the ass.... Gee..I wonder why our mental health benefits suck.
We also have to remember, we are addicts. Addicts are the smartest creative most minipulative bunch of suckers out there, myself included. But they are also the most loving and thoughtful, happy, sad, and straight up genuine when happy.....
The one thing that you have to remember is that you can never relate to her disease unless you've walked her shoes. You can do what most every parent does and go buy 3,000 books on addiction....but she has taken 3,000 hours of therapy and is IN addiction. Its her speciality. You wont win.
The best analogy I can make...and while it may sound cliche...is a quote that Robin Williams said in Good Will Hunting..
Will was the most amazing smartest person in the world.
He said, "Will, if I talk to you about the sistine chapel, I'm sure that you can write a dissertation on every piece of artwork. You can probably write an entire biography on the life of michaelangelo....and off the top of your head. But you can't tell me what it smells like. You can't tell me how if feels to sit in the middle of the room and look up at the ceiling".
You can't even know...and thank god you dont know because it is so not fun. But the day you realize that you can't know, is the day you may be able to start helping her.
I had lots of resentment too. I would go to sober livings and they were charging 5k per month...(this is my own money)... but if you attended their IOP they own....they'll only charge you 2500, and then bill the insurance company out the ass.... Gee..I wonder why our mental health benefits suck.
We also have to remember, we are addicts. Addicts are the smartest creative most minipulative bunch of suckers out there, myself included. But they are also the most loving and thoughtful, happy, sad, and straight up genuine when happy.....
The one thing that you have to remember is that you can never relate to her disease unless you've walked her shoes. You can do what most every parent does and go buy 3,000 books on addiction....but she has taken 3,000 hours of therapy and is IN addiction. Its her speciality. You wont win.
The best analogy I can make...and while it may sound cliche...is a quote that Robin Williams said in Good Will Hunting..
Will was the most amazing smartest person in the world.
He said, "Will, if I talk to you about the sistine chapel, I'm sure that you can write a dissertation on every piece of artwork. You can probably write an entire biography on the life of michaelangelo....and off the top of your head. But you can't tell me what it smells like. You can't tell me how if feels to sit in the middle of the room and look up at the ceiling".
You can't even know...and thank god you dont know because it is so not fun. But the day you realize that you can't know, is the day you may be able to start helping her.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Posts: 31
Originally Posted by camerajen
i have no rehab will take our insurance. Just detoxes. I'll never give up though. If I could afford the Palm Springs ones copay then maybe that would work but I'm also terrified to put her on an airplane into their hands. The broker said they would have a car pick her up at the airport which would take her to a hospital for detox and then they would transport her to the spencer recovery center for 30 days. Even if I had the money it sounds so scary.
Trust me that tears come to my eyes because I wish I could go back and do things different. I never thought my parents would give up.
I am so close or was...with them. They are taking care of the most precious things in my world.
My greyhounds who rescue me as much as I rescue them. I cry thinking about the fact that i'm missing their lives.
You may not give up now.....but the one thing I fear for you is the day where you wont have a choice to give up.
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Originally Posted by NeverEasyToBe
The reason I am in this forum is because I'm trying to learn how my parents feel and the best course of action to respect their boundaries so that if I dont die...I can begin to build on relationship
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