Alcohol took the love of my life
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 113
Broken heart88-
My story is very similar to yours. I met her like a year and a half ago and by 5 months together we were married; now separated 2 months and have filed for divorce.
I got so hooked so quickly to her, she was so charismatic and seemed to know what she wanted from life. I ignored so many warning signs because I was so infatuated with her. It didn't take me long to realize I couldn't live with her the way she is. She told me all the same stuff, about how much she loves me, how sad she is, and then in the same breath tell me what a crappy person I am.
There is nothing I could have done for her, she has continued to choose alcohol over anything else in her life. I know I made a mistake in marrying her and now I know what to look out for in the future.
Keep your head up, it will get easier with time. You will feel like yourself again and realize you don't ever want to lose that feeling no matter what ( that's how I felt anyway).
My story is very similar to yours. I met her like a year and a half ago and by 5 months together we were married; now separated 2 months and have filed for divorce.
I got so hooked so quickly to her, she was so charismatic and seemed to know what she wanted from life. I ignored so many warning signs because I was so infatuated with her. It didn't take me long to realize I couldn't live with her the way she is. She told me all the same stuff, about how much she loves me, how sad she is, and then in the same breath tell me what a crappy person I am.
There is nothing I could have done for her, she has continued to choose alcohol over anything else in her life. I know I made a mistake in marrying her and now I know what to look out for in the future.
Keep your head up, it will get easier with time. You will feel like yourself again and realize you don't ever want to lose that feeling no matter what ( that's how I felt anyway).
RIP Maria
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
Good Afternoon BH88!
In answer to there being others making it thru this disease? Yes there is! My father was an alcoholic and gave it up years into it! He was also addicted to pain pills later on and got off of all that too! Bless his heart he didn't even want to take pain meds when he was dying from his entire body being eaten up on the inside from Melanoma cancer. I was his caregiver on third shift the last week of his life. This is why I know he wouldn't take but a teeny tiny little bit of pain meds because I was the one having to give it to him. He passed at noon on 5 November 2013!
I was introduced to pain meds by a doctor in 1985! It was an immediate love affair for them! I've been on and off them for years! I was addicted to them at one point and didn't want to give them up! Even dove head first into a bottle of them to deal with my XH's abuse.
I made the decision to get off of them completely in October 2005! I left my husband in June 2006. I stayed off the pain pills for two years! Then I was injured and ended up back on them for a year! As soon as I recovered from my surgery? I got right back off of them. There were more surgeries and injuries along the way where I ended up taking them again. However? I always got back off of them!
To enlighten this confusion of the why's of it! I'm a 100% DAV with 23 years in the ARNG working full-time for them! So yes I have the reasons to use them, but I prefer not to! My life is so much better OFF of the pain pills!
My husband is taking pain meds and I have begged him to get off of them. So far he's refusing to do that! He only takes maybe two pills a day though! But it's changing his moods and personality! I miss the man I married! I wouldn't wish this on anyone if they had the chose to walk away once they find out the person has an issue with drugs or alcohol! Because a person NOT using or drinking is who they really are! That's the person YOU want to get to know and maybe spend your life with! Taking on the mission of trying to save someone from themselves is a ready made battle and heartache! My husband and I have been together since 2006! I'm not just going to walk away from him and his use! But he wasn't using the pain meds when we got together either!
It seems you have this woman engraved under your skin by what little time y'all spent together and she's playing on your emotions! Step back and figure out exactly the "why" - "what" has you so roped in! Make you a Pro's and Con's list! Look at the difference on each side of the page! And be honest with your answers! Make the list with your mind, not your heart!
As long as she continues working at the Bar? I don't see her giving the alcohol up either! That would be like putting myself in a factory full of opiates to work and telling me I can't take any of them! Yeah! Right! That's why I've gone thru Rehab with a couple of Pharmacist! Even the VAH has made changes to their opiate procedures for the patients!
And for what it's worth? I'm on Day 87 off the pain meds again!
TOD
In answer to there being others making it thru this disease? Yes there is! My father was an alcoholic and gave it up years into it! He was also addicted to pain pills later on and got off of all that too! Bless his heart he didn't even want to take pain meds when he was dying from his entire body being eaten up on the inside from Melanoma cancer. I was his caregiver on third shift the last week of his life. This is why I know he wouldn't take but a teeny tiny little bit of pain meds because I was the one having to give it to him. He passed at noon on 5 November 2013!
I was introduced to pain meds by a doctor in 1985! It was an immediate love affair for them! I've been on and off them for years! I was addicted to them at one point and didn't want to give them up! Even dove head first into a bottle of them to deal with my XH's abuse.
I made the decision to get off of them completely in October 2005! I left my husband in June 2006. I stayed off the pain pills for two years! Then I was injured and ended up back on them for a year! As soon as I recovered from my surgery? I got right back off of them. There were more surgeries and injuries along the way where I ended up taking them again. However? I always got back off of them!
To enlighten this confusion of the why's of it! I'm a 100% DAV with 23 years in the ARNG working full-time for them! So yes I have the reasons to use them, but I prefer not to! My life is so much better OFF of the pain pills!
My husband is taking pain meds and I have begged him to get off of them. So far he's refusing to do that! He only takes maybe two pills a day though! But it's changing his moods and personality! I miss the man I married! I wouldn't wish this on anyone if they had the chose to walk away once they find out the person has an issue with drugs or alcohol! Because a person NOT using or drinking is who they really are! That's the person YOU want to get to know and maybe spend your life with! Taking on the mission of trying to save someone from themselves is a ready made battle and heartache! My husband and I have been together since 2006! I'm not just going to walk away from him and his use! But he wasn't using the pain meds when we got together either!
It seems you have this woman engraved under your skin by what little time y'all spent together and she's playing on your emotions! Step back and figure out exactly the "why" - "what" has you so roped in! Make you a Pro's and Con's list! Look at the difference on each side of the page! And be honest with your answers! Make the list with your mind, not your heart!
As long as she continues working at the Bar? I don't see her giving the alcohol up either! That would be like putting myself in a factory full of opiates to work and telling me I can't take any of them! Yeah! Right! That's why I've gone thru Rehab with a couple of Pharmacist! Even the VAH has made changes to their opiate procedures for the patients!
And for what it's worth? I'm on Day 87 off the pain meds again!
TOD
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
Thanks for sharing your post-- it's very important it's there for others to read. They'll then learn that far from being a unique situation, it could have been written by them, me or thousands of other people who fell in love with an alcoholic but knew nothing about the disease.
It's 100 percent accurate beginning, middle, and end. Congratulations on actually moving on instead of signing up for years and years of pure hell.
Cyranoak
It's 100 percent accurate beginning, middle, and end. Congratulations on actually moving on instead of signing up for years and years of pure hell.
Cyranoak
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